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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit freaked out by DPs behaviour..

290 replies

Meanderer · 29/12/2013 23:26

There's a cat that has been coming into our garden and even our house occasionally and frightening our two young cats. They are getting braver at hissing at him but he still dominates them and we think has sprayed scent on them. Today while I was out DP found this cat in the house so shut him in, chased him around shouting at him, then put him in a bath of cold water, all to frighten him off. He'd mentioned before that he was panning to do this and I asked him not to, because it seems really cruel and excessive and also I thought about how I'd feel if someone did that to one of ours..he's an aggressive cat yes but just doing what some cats do. My question really isn't whether he was unreasonable to do it, because I think he was and have told him so..but I'm feeling really uncomfortable that he could do this at all, even though he believes it was right to defend our young cats that way...I feel a bit creeped out by it. Am I being soft and should I be grateful on our cats behalf? I was hoping they'd just eventually be able to defend themselves.

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 29/12/2013 23:38

Cruelty to animals is against the law phoolani.

And he was cruel.

SpikeyChristmasTree · 29/12/2013 23:40

I must admit my first thought was that I hope he's been scratched and bitten and comes down with some sort of nasty infection.

I've had to bath my rather timid cat (in lovely warm water) with special shampoo, and by God did I suffer for it.

bootsycollins · 29/12/2013 23:40

Did he wait till you'd gone out then run a cold bath and wait for the cat to turn up then?

horsetowater · 29/12/2013 23:41

Go and buy him a water pistol. Much more fun.

Has he ever done anything else like that that's irrational? Some people get funny ideas about how to 'train' animals (like putting their face in their poo if they do it in the house). Did you ask him why he did it - was it something his Dad did to a neighbour's cat? Is it a family tradition?

Sorry I do find this a bit amusing in a slapstick kind of way, I guess that's insensitive, but I do have cats and I know that they are far far wiser than your DP. What he has done won't traumatise your neighbours cat, it will simply make it think 'what a weirdo, better keep a better watch out next time I spray his cats'.

KidLorneRoll · 29/12/2013 23:41

Totally unacceptable. What a prick.

MissBurrows · 29/12/2013 23:41

Well said, Spikey

MostWicked · 29/12/2013 23:42

I've squirted water from a hose at a cat who kept coming into our garden and attacking our cat.

sebsmummy1 · 29/12/2013 23:42

Hmmm I don't know.

I'm afraid I kicked a tom really quite hard after he had attacked my older cat for the umpteenth time and they were rolling into the road. I was just SO fucked off with how aggressive and persistent this stray was, and I kicked it.

I'm not particularly proud if my behaviour but I snapped.

I'm not sure your OHs behaviour makes him a psychopath. I think it was OTT though and a water pistol would have sufficed.

CakenTea · 29/12/2013 23:42

Did he spend time running the bath ready for the cat while yelling at it? I think the level of planning is stranger than the shouting and cat-wetting.

Birdsgottafly · 29/12/2013 23:43

"And I'm pretty sure that shouting at a cat and bathing it in cool water isn't against the law."

You obviously don't know the law on animal cruelty, then.

Aside from that, you are seriously fucked in the head to be able to cause terror in a animal, pre-planned.

If you understood cat behaviour, you would know that the cats would sort this out. The programme on cats not so long ago explained urban cat behaviour and territory issues.

However, if your DP needs further practice at running around a house shouting at an animal, I (and my friends) have German Shepherds he can try it with.

Personally, I like him dumped in a Lion enclosure.

I would be concerned and I have fished and hunted, but there is something very different about a person that can knowingly cause distress to something unable to defend themselves, for no good reason.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 29/12/2013 23:43

'bathing it' LOL.

He didn't bath it. He bloody held it under the cold water to scare it.

HaroldTheGoat · 29/12/2013 23:43

It's really weird! And premeditated which is even weirder.

lilyaldrin · 29/12/2013 23:43

The whole "cold bath" scenario sounds really bizarre to me - did he have the bath ready just in case? Or did he shut the cat in somewhere while he ran the bath, then caught the cat, then forced it in?

grumpalumpgrumped · 29/12/2013 23:44

I have a wandering cat, I have told my neighbours to spray him with water and offered to pay for a magnetic cat flap. I would not be happy about what your DH did, although your DH would be likley to need hospital treatment if he attempted that with my tiger cat.

SpikeyChristmasTree · 29/12/2013 23:44

I wouldn't kick a cat, either, sebsmummy, but I can see a massive difference between snapping in a dangerous situation and a premeditated situation like this.

bellasuewow · 29/12/2013 23:44

This is animal cruelty and is against the law. What was he thinking......

grumpalumpgrumped · 29/12/2013 23:44

I meani

grumpalumpgrumped · 29/12/2013 23:45

scarletandblack · 29/12/2013 23:48

It all sounds a bit sadistic to me. I can understand making loud noises and maybe squirting water to scare it off, but shutting it in first so it couldn't escape is kind of disturbing.

I'm really surprised that someone who is supposedly a cat lover could do this to any animal - even a bullying tom. I hope it's done the trick, anyhow, as much for the sake of the interloper as your two cats!

eightandthreequarters · 29/12/2013 23:49

I'm a cat lover and I have to say... this hardly qualifies as animal cruelty on an illegal level. He chased the cat, shouted at the cat, and got the cat very wet. It's bizarre, sure, and I'd be a bit at his behaviour. Can't he just use a water pistol/spray bottle like normal folk? Just shoot water at the cat and he'll soon learn to stay away. No need for the whole chase around the house/bath of water routine.

LadyBeagleEyes · 29/12/2013 23:50

How would you ever get an aggressive cat into a cold bath without being scratched to pieces?
I couldn't with my two and they're as placid as anything.
If this is true he's a cruel bastard.

phoolani · 29/12/2013 23:51

Well, yes, I'm fairly sure I know cats are animals. They shit in my garden with enough frequency for me to get that they haven't mastered the flush toilet at least.

SpikeyChristmasTree · 29/12/2013 23:51

Two disturbing scenarios, really.

He has actually done this. Run as fast as you can.
He's lying. Why?

Original poster

Meanderer · 29/12/2013 23:52

The big cat was freaking ours out, to the extent they have occasionally weed in the house for fear of going outside and being jumped by him. In the past we've had to lock the cat flap with ours inside when we go on holiday so they can't be terrorised in their own home...in case they ran away because of the stress of being in ' his' territory. I don't think DP will have enjoyed doing this at all, just that he felt it necessary and proportional, is what upsets me. You're right those who said water pistol, that would have been a better idea. Yes he has behaved like this before when someone was casing our house in the middle of the night, he ran downstairs bellowing and swearing. He has what I see as an overdeveloped protection instinct of meet fire with fire, which scares me because I think walking away from trouble is usually the best policy!

OP posts:

grumpalumpgrumped · 29/12/2013 23:52

Phone went a bit crazy

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