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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed of at getting biscuits as christmas present from SIL

130 replies

auntpetunia · 28/12/2013 10:25

When she knows I am a coealiac! Am seriously annoyed and want to phone and ask her what she's playing at DH (it's his sister ) says it's not worth it. And just to leave it.

OP posts:
londonrach · 28/12/2013 10:28

Leave it and pass it on. I can beat you there one year i got a glass handbag...... At least the biscuits can be regifted...

MrsCakesPremonition · 28/12/2013 10:29

This is one for DH to handle. A quiet word reminding them that you are medically unable to eat gluten should be enough. Try not to take it as a dig at you - unless she has form.

Original poster
auntpetunia · 28/12/2013 10:41

londonrach a glass handbag? Different.

OP posts:
Piffyonarock · 28/12/2013 10:50

I'd maybe leave it for now and put it down to your SIL being in a pre-Xmas stress unless she has form. But at some point in the future you or DH could casually mention that handmade gluten-free cakes are a lovely thoughtful gift - my sister had some made by a local baker for her coeliac friend this year who was delighted.

TinselTaTas · 28/12/2013 10:52

Can you take them round to go with coffee? Say 'brought these for you, someone kindly gave them to me but I'm a coeliac' then smile sweetly Smile

Misspixietrix · 28/12/2013 10:57

A glass handbag? Confused. YNBU. Did she know you couldnt have them? Wonder if she's like my Grandparents and just has a root around her Loft at Christmas time. DM got given out of date stock bovril cubes as one of her Christmas presents Hmm.

NigellasDealer · 28/12/2013 11:01

perhaps she forgot about your dietary needs and was just buying a load of generic presents.
i wouldnt take it personally unless its part of a wider picture.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 28/12/2013 11:02

Re-gift this year, and a gentle reminder from your DH to her that you have coealiacs before the next gift giving event.
I think on the run up to Christmas people panic buy things that aren't necessarily appropriate for the recipient. My MIL bought me cook books last year - specialist Indian curry cook books - for anyone else it would have been an ok gift, except I can't eat anything spicy at all (and I wish I could!) due to a health condition, where spicy food (even very mild korma) leaves me in agony for days.
At the time I was very hurt that she bought something I couldn't use, it was a little thoughtless of her, but I guess she bought it thinking DH likes curries and I like cooking...
This year DH gently reminded her I can't eat curries, and food has become a bit of an issue due to health so best avoid all food related gifts. This year she got me a fabulous craft gift Smile .

Original poster
auntpetunia · 28/12/2013 11:10

Thanks for the replies …I'm not sure she forgot more like she thinks I'm being fussy! She's done similar in the past invited us for a meal and produced lasagne. Then told me a little bit wouldn't matter. It's not like this is new we've been married 23 years.

I'm going to tell MIL she'll speak to her as she takes my food intake very seriously and really makes an
effort to feed me properly.

OP posts:
CranberrySaucyJack · 28/12/2013 11:11

YANBU if you think she's doing it deliberately.

lljkk · 28/12/2013 11:13

I don't understand the big deal. Just give them away in School Easter Tombola drive, no?

DH's parents used to give us VHS tapes every yr. We told them we didn't have a VCR. Still gave us some every yr. Just didn't compute. No biggie. They also gave us double-size bed linen (we only have a king & single size beds). It's the thought that counts & all.

JeanSeberg · 28/12/2013 11:16

You seem to be looking for a reason not to like her.

Anniegetyourgun · 28/12/2013 11:23

Nah, no big deal, she's just trying to kill you, that's all.

Chopchopbusybusy · 28/12/2013 11:24

For those who think it's no big deal or the OP is looking for a reason not to like her Hmm. Would you think the same if someone with a nut allergy was given a bag of nuts?

DameDeepRedBetty · 28/12/2013 11:27

I've met a few like this too. DP has a restricted diet due to diabetes, and it's amazing how many apparently intelligent people don't realise he CAN'T have sweet stuff anymore, not even one or two because it's Christmas.

Original poster
auntpetunia · 28/12/2013 11:28

Eh I'm not looking for a reason not to like her Jean I am just pissed off that she thinks biscuits are a good present. If she didn't know me I wouldn't care, I got biscuits off my neighbour …she doesn't know and I haven't told her, I wouldn't be that rude. SIL has known me 25 years.

OP posts:
Original poster
auntpetunia · 28/12/2013 11:29

Eh I'm not looking for a reason not to like her Jean I am just pissed off that she thinks biscuits are a good present. If she didn't know me I wouldn't care, I got biscuits off my neighbour …she doesn't know and I haven't told her, I wouldn't be that rude. SIL has known me 25 years.

OP posts:
BohemianGirl · 28/12/2013 11:29

I probably wouldnt remember biscuits were gluten, bread yes, biscuits might not flag up on my radar.

Unless she has a history of doing similar to annoy you, I'd put it down to a one off abberration.

However I want to hear about the glass hand bag please Grin

BigWellyLittleWelly · 28/12/2013 11:31

This year I was given a vast box of chocolates from my mothers family. They only ever biy themselves the very best chocolates henve why I'm fairly certain that these were a regift as they were Thorntons (yuk) and they also know full well I'm trying to lose weight after two children.

Some people just give thoughtless gifts. Thats the way the cookie crumbles.

JeanSeberg · 28/12/2013 11:33

Pissed off seems an over-reaction though. Surely you just get them out next time you have visitors round for coffee?

Original poster
auntpetunia · 28/12/2013 11:41

Eh I'm not looking for a reason not to like her Jean I am just pissed off that she thinks biscuits are a good present. If she didn't know me I wouldn't care, I got biscuits off my neighbour …she doesn't know and I haven't told her, I wouldn't be that rude. SIL has known me 25 years.

OP posts:
Caitlin17 · 28/12/2013 11:44

YABU. How old are you? If you've known her 25 years I'm guessing in your 40s but you're carrying on like a child who got the wrong gift from Santa. Just use them up in the house.

Why do you even expect to get a gift from sil? All this fuss on here at perceived slights in gifts from adults to adults is ridiculous.

Original poster
auntpetunia · 28/12/2013 11:44

Oops stupid phone with multiple posts sorry! I am pissed off that's my Christmas present and I can't make any use of it. Makes me annoyed that I put effort into hers. I can't even take them back .

OP posts:
JeanSeberg · 28/12/2013 11:47

I really don't get why you're so annoyed over a few biscuits.

iwasyoungonce · 28/12/2013 11:49

YANBU. It's at best thoughtless, and at worst a deliberate dig.