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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed of at getting biscuits as christmas present from SIL

130 replies

auntpetunia · 28/12/2013 10:25

When she knows I am a coealiac! Am seriously annoyed and want to phone and ask her what she's playing at DH (it's his sister ) says it's not worth it. And just to leave it.

OP posts:
Sixgeese · 28/12/2013 12:59

I got a bottle of champagne from my BIL, lovely gift except I have been on medication which means that you can't drink alcohol for longer than he has known me, so he has never seen me drink any alcohol ever, not even at my wedding. DH is really happy he loves champagne. But then when one of my friends asked me what we as a couple wanted for Christmas I suggested and we received a DVD DH would hate. So it is swings and roundabouts.

SaucyJack · 28/12/2013 13:00

I think the levels of petulance expressed by grown ups on this forum in relation to presents is beyond ridiculous

And 99% of the time I'd agree. But this is different.

The OP's SIL has known for the past 25 years that she is a coeliac and cannot eat wheat, but still continues to give her pasta and biscuits because she doesn't believe or simply doesn't care that she will make her ill.

It's not like moaning because you got the wrong colour jumper.

Sixgeese · 28/12/2013 13:01

I should have said I have known BIL over 10 years and only will be on this medication for the rest of my life.

Misspixietrix · 28/12/2013 13:01

Precisely saucyjack

Sixgeese · 28/12/2013 13:02

I should have said I have known BIL over 10 years and only will be on this medication for the rest of my life.

Sixgeese · 28/12/2013 13:02

I should have said I have known BIL over 10 years and only will be on this medication for the rest of my life.

Misspixietrix · 28/12/2013 13:03

Sixgeese that sounds like my DM. She always used to have a lime and soda and pretend it was a G & T! Grin.

Gruntfuttock · 28/12/2013 13:04

Well said saucyjack

lastnightIwenttoManderley · 28/12/2013 13:14

OP yanbu. I can sympathise as.BIL and SIL got me a nice big tray of ferrero rocher one year. I'm properly.allergic to nuts...

Rockin possibly not totally thoughtless, lush are handmade but not necessarily natural and/or good for you (their products bring me out in a rash). Poor given you'd asked for it, but they might have been trying?

FariesDoExist · 28/12/2013 13:41

Because you've a medical condition you are reading far too much into this!

Or do you and SIL not get along and you suspect she did it out of spite? Lots of people receive unsuitable gifts, bubble bath they don't use, food they don't like, gardening stuff for non-gardeners. Diabetics get given chocolates, tee-totallers receive alcohol. Get over it!

Personally I don't eat nuts. I ocassionally get given pralines and other chocolates with nuts. People forget that i dont eat them. I don't make a song and dance over it, I usually give them to someone else.

Are you worried that you will forget you have coealiacs and you might accidentally eat them?

Earlspearl · 28/12/2013 13:45

Caitlin are you bonkers? Would you give a packet of peanuts to someone with a nut allergy? Would you serve someone yogurt despite them having a dairy intolerance?

The fact of the matter is that the gift was meant specifically for OP to eat. It was given to her. Why would you give something totally inappropriate, something that would cause health issues?

Misspixietrix · 28/12/2013 13:45

There's a difference between preferences and food allergies/intolerance. I don't think the OP is BU.

Earlspearl · 28/12/2013 13:47

I think it's awful that SIL actually served lasagne to a celiac.

hopskipandthump · 28/12/2013 13:47

If your SIL said that a 'little bit of lasagna' wouldn't cause you any harm, she is either ignorant or stupid. I would return the present to her saying - 'thanks for the thought, i can't eat them but I hope you enjoy them' and smile sweetly.

PhdCopy · 28/12/2013 13:49

I would give her back with a big smile and say that you are thankful but because of your condition which is known to her, you will get sick...

Misspixietrix · 28/12/2013 13:49

Earlspearls no they are just being fussy ffs! Hmm Grin.

PhdCopy · 28/12/2013 13:50

If you eat them.

maddy68 · 28/12/2013 14:13

I'm coealic too, and I have been given loads of things for Xmas I can't eat. I'm not bothered though, people don't understand it. I am still grateful and I will just dish them out to visitors with a coffee

RockinAroundTheXmasTreeHippy · 28/12/2013 14:22

lastnight yes I know that, but it is one if the more natural ones, at least one that SIL would understand & we ARE okay with it & both DD & I do love Lush stuff.

I'm not complaining, just sympathising with the OP it IS frustrating, especially in her case - my own SIL was definitely trying, I don't doubt that as she's lovely, but just missing the point, as is the OPs SIL - though no idea if they are also as lovely

In my case as its not the first time, I will be politely offering it back to my SIL, by way of educating her & if she doesn't want it, it will go to the next school fete

Original poster
auntpetunia · 28/12/2013 14:37

Well mixed response as I thought. I'm going to leave well alone for now but will mention it next time I see her. I won't be arsey, but I will make sure she knows it was a bit off.

for those asking why we get adults presents me and DH have one sibling each so we've always done kids and adults. Maybe not doing SIL is the way forward. And I'll donate one box to mum's care home so everybody wins.

OP posts:
iWantChampagneOnColaBudget · 28/12/2013 14:42

anniegetyourgun i lol at your bluntness on page 1

Balaboosta · 28/12/2013 15:19

So bloody what? Honestly...!

babybelle11 · 28/12/2013 15:34

My mil brought me ferrero rocher chocolates on the birt of our 1st child. They are her son's favorite s and I hate nuts.

babybelle11 · 28/12/2013 15:35

Op that wa thoughtless.

jellybeans · 28/12/2013 15:40

I get gifts like this from my in laws and friends. They all know i am coeliac but don't think they get it. It does offend me a bit and if it feels like a tin of biscuits i open if before xmas so not to be dissappointed on the day! I would never buy something somebody cannot have, it would be very insensitive and not nice as it seems you are not at all thinking about that person. I think in most cases it is ignorance about coeliac disease. Sadly it seems unless you are sensitive or coeliac you just don't get it and how hard and isolating it can be and how ignorant many are.

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