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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my 21 month cannot stay up till midnight at mil 70th party??

128 replies

Cazm2 · 27/12/2013 07:44

Hi all my mil birthday party tomo at a local members club. I have 21 month old DD, we are all going but I am going to bring her home prob 930-1000pm. DH and mil think this is early it's a one off so should stay later! She has just had an exhausting Christmas with 9pm bedtimes and no day naps Christmas or Boxing Day, she is knackered. I cannot get babysitter as everyone has been invited so will bring her home and have to stay home whilst DH stays at party- again getting hassle for!!! Someone please help me out!!!!!!!

OP posts:

Slatecross · 27/12/2013 07:46

Go but take a buggy/pram and pop her in it when she's tired. Quick walk round the block to get her to sleep, wrap her up warm and park in a dark quiet corner!

I realise that's easier than it sounds but it's do-able.

Happilymarried155 · 27/12/2013 07:47

Can't you just take her pjs and pushchair and let her fall asleep in that?
It's only one night!

littlewhitechristmasbag · 27/12/2013 07:48

Just take DD along to the party and see how it goes. If she is not tired or grumpy then stay. If she gets cranky then leave. She may just flake out on a chair anyway. I have no idea why you would be in a paddy about this seeing as you have no idea how she is going to be later on.

SapphireMoon · 27/12/2013 07:48

You sound very reasonable.
Even by 10pm I imagine your toddler will be asleep in her push chair.
Is there a problem re travel arrangements with this which is making them unreasonable?

CasperGutman · 27/12/2013 07:49

Anyone who thinks keeping a 21-month old up until midnight will be fun has almost certainly never tried it. She'll be a miserable, tearful mess hours before that, almost certainly, and won't be the best company for others at the party. I'd just leave early.

ChineseFireball · 27/12/2013 07:49

^ What they said. Take the pram or pushchair for sleeping in.

BohemianGirl · 27/12/2013 07:50

Pushchair!

mumaa · 27/12/2013 07:50

Your plan sounds sensible to me... 10pm sounds late enough and you are leaving your DH there to enjoy the party. You know your DC best and also, I don't think a members club filled with drinking adults it's probably an ideal environment for 21 month old.

You are going to he party and staying a few hours before taking DC home to bed, I think that's am entirely reasonable plan as you can't get a babysitter as everyone has been invited. Go with your plan, sounds good to me.

GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen · 27/12/2013 07:51

Will she turn into a pumpkin?

Take her. When she kicks off from being so tired she can't think, hand her to MIL or DH with a sweet smile and then go get another drink.

Original poster

Cazm2 · 27/12/2013 07:52

Thanks should explain she won't sleep in buggy never has I doubt she will especially with to much going I around her!! She is already grumpy from lack of sleep over past few days! Her bedtime normally 730 and also I am the only person next day who has to deal with said grumpy miserable child!

OP posts:

LunchLadyWannabe · 27/12/2013 07:55

I think its mean to expect a baby to sleep with loud music on.

As soon as dd becomes very tired, i would take her home.

Its all part of having a small child where you have to miss out on parties etc when you have no babysitter.

I certainly wouldn't put my dd in a pram, in a corner with music blaring and a noisy atmosphere just so i could stay on longer.

When i ve seen this , i ve always judged parents that do it.

Hope you manage to come to a solution.

NearTheWindmill · 27/12/2013 07:57

Can't she catch up today and tomorrow a bit. I think I'd just go with the flow but I had 21 month olds who were invariably awake at midnight anyway.

dietcokeandwine · 27/12/2013 07:58

Not being unreasonable. I'd do the same although would aim to bring home earlier! Or could you get an agency babysitter? If she's there for a few hours surely that's enough? I'm not a fan of keeping children up late, it always backfires for days afterwards in my experience. Tbh if it were me I wouldn't have done the missed naps/late bedtimes thing with DD over Christmas either but I realise lots of people do.

I would stick to your guns re the party. You'll be the one paying the price with an exhausted toddler for days afterwards!

youmakemydreams · 27/12/2013 07:59

I've been to functions with all 3 of mine and have always just decided to play it ear. I've ended up doing all of the above. Dd who I thought would get grumpy was and still is the last one standing as is ds2. Ds1 never made it after his usual bedtime.

A few late nights for special occasions won't do her any harm. Take her buggy see how she goes but plan that you may have to take her home early if she is tired and grumpy.

annieorangutan · 27/12/2013 07:59

As others have said just let her sleep in buggy

annieorangutan · 27/12/2013 08:01

Why are you alone the next morn?

GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen · 27/12/2013 08:01

The OP has already said she won't sleep in her buggy.

Why should the OP have a miserable day tomorrow because people don't understand that babies need sleep?

OP do what you want. Or tell your husband you'll bring her, but he's responsible for her 100%.

Finola1step · 27/12/2013 08:04

Take her and then leave when she gets tired and whiny, no matter what the time. If she won't sleep in buggy, then your only other option is to let your DH deal with it!

I just don't understand why any adult would want an over tired, grizzling, fractious toddler at their party awake until midnight. Your DH is being a bit if a dick. The needs of his young child need to come before the needs of his mother.

CMOTDibbler · 27/12/2013 08:04

Some toddlers will stay up till midnight happily, some melt down. Some sleep in a buggy/pile of coats/under a table - some don't. Some make up for a late night the next day, some will be horrid for days. You know your dd, and as you have to deal with the fallout, you get to decide imo.

My ds is 7, and would be awful for a week if kept up till 10!

SoftSheen · 27/12/2013 08:05

YANBU. Maybe some 21 month olds would cope with this, but mine would have just got hysterical and then been a nightmare the next day. Leave when you need to leave and don't feel guilty.

TravellingToad · 27/12/2013 08:07

Christ if i tried to keep my 19m up it'd be hell for everyone. come 7pm he's in bed and if he's not, god help us. grumpy, tired and whinging for his bed.

He certainly wouldnt lie quietly in his pushchair and gently drift off.

YANBU!

HamAlive · 27/12/2013 08:07

What CMOT said.

DS is getting more able to stay up now at 2.10 but he will be vile the next day so I'd go with your plan of taking her back when she's tired.

annieorangutan · 27/12/2013 08:07

Surely you can get one of your friends to babysit for the night?

Happilymarried155 · 27/12/2013 08:08

Lunch lady wannabe you sound lovely!

brettgirl2 · 27/12/2013 08:11

Sounds like the perfect excuse to leave early if you ask me.

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