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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil wants to sleep in our bed

133 replies

DrinkFromSantasFountain · 23/12/2013 15:54

My mil is coming to stay Christmas Eve night, we house share with sil who will be away so mil was to sleep in their bed but mil has decided that she doesn't want to sleep in the attic room she wants our bed, I have problems with anxiety and really can't face the idea of someone sleeping in my bed or me sleeping in sil bed, also ds is 2.5 and still comes into our bed in the night sometimes, especially when he's excited or unsettled so he will probably want to be in bed with me at some point but if I'm in a different bed he wouldn't sleep. We have a perfectly comfortable sofa bed too which she's welcome to.

Am I being unreasonable or is she?

OP posts:
GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen · 23/12/2013 15:55

Not just no. Fuck no.

No one sleeps in my bed but me and my husband and our son.

Shellywelly1973 · 23/12/2013 15:55

OMG!!!!

She's so very unreasonable!

vj32 · 23/12/2013 15:56

Is there a sensible reason for MIL not wanting to sleep in the attic like she would struggle with steep stairs?

KirstyJC · 23/12/2013 15:56

Just tell her no. Your house, you sleep where you like. If she doesn't want the attic then offer her the sofa bed.

She is BU.

Gossipmonster · 23/12/2013 15:56

FIL has arthritis but he still stayed in the attic room when he came to stay not even our kids come into our bed.

No way!!!

littleredsquirrel · 23/12/2013 15:56

Erm nope, its your bed, she's the guest. She sleeps where she's put.

mousmous · 23/12/2013 15:57

yanbu at all
no one expect me and dh and the dc sometimes gets to sleep in my bed. guests sleep on the (perfectly comfortable) sofa bed in the living room.
she's bvu, there is a perfectly fine bed for her. if she doesn't want to sleep there you could offer her an airbed in the living room.

hellsbellsmelons · 23/12/2013 15:58

Where is DH in all this?
Has he told her she can't have your bed?
He just needs to explain exactly as you have here.
There are other options for her so not an issue.
She probably doesn't realise the impact so a nice explanation should sort it out.
Or is there more to this than meets the eye???

takingthathometomomma · 23/12/2013 15:58

YANBU!

SugarCaneShortCake · 23/12/2013 15:58

Totally unreasonable. Mil cannot demand your bed. How entitled.

sooperdooper · 23/12/2013 15:59

No, there's two spare beds, she gets one of those, i think it's a bit weird she'd want your bed

Vivacia · 23/12/2013 16:00

Surely the obvious question is, "why?". That means you get to find the solution, not her and not involving your bed.

Madamecastafiore · 23/12/2013 16:00

NO ONE SLEEPS IN MY BED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Not even me with 6 week old DD!)

seriously - I cannot believe anyone would think it ok to demand your bed.

Original poster
DrinkFromSantasFountain · 23/12/2013 16:01

She has arthritis, fibro and struggles a bit with stairs, I also have fibro and need my comfy bed and all my pillows in the right place to be able to sleep as I need to support various pains, mil has better pain relief and sleeps better than I do.
I think I'm going to tell her she has I sleep on the sofa bed it's only one night and it's supposedly really comfy...

OP posts:
Tailtwister · 23/12/2013 16:01

I could see the point if there was no spare bed, but there is and it sounds perfectly adequate to me. The her no!

Golddigger · 23/12/2013 16:03

She is going to struggle to go up to the attic I presume?

Where did she think that she was going to sleep?

mousmous · 23/12/2013 16:03

so the attic room wouldn't be the best solution. but the sofa bed might be even better (no stairs).

Original poster
DrinkFromSantasFountain · 23/12/2013 16:04

She's just dropped it on me, Dh is at work. She's usually lovely I'm confused why she's being like it.

OP posts:
fluffyraggies · 23/12/2013 16:06

mil has decided that she doesn't want to sleep in the attic room she wants our bed

How was this conveyed OP? On the phone? By text? To your DH, or to you? What was said to it at the time?

Big fat no from me i'm afraid. I'd feel dreadful putting my hosts out of their bed when there is two spare.

fluffyraggies · 23/12/2013 16:06

xpost :) what did you say?

Norudeshitrequired · 23/12/2013 16:09

Give her the option of putting your SIL's mattress on the floor in the living room or having the sofa bed? Do not give up your bed. She is being unreasonable.

Financeprincess · 23/12/2013 16:09

This is a joke, right? You have an elderly relative with mobility problems coming to stay and you want her to struggle up attic stairs?

Don't be so precious. My elderly parents are visiting for Christmas and they are having my and DH's bed; it's bigger and has an en-suite and we want them to be comfortable.

Scholes34 · 23/12/2013 16:09

Personally, I wouldn't have a problem. We regularly give up our bed to my parents. However, it's your bed, your decision. If you don't want her to have your bed, make that clear and don't beat yourself up about it if you think your decision is the right one.

Bloodyteenagers · 23/12/2013 16:09

She can want all she likes. Doesn't mean it is going to happen. She has three choices.. She can sleep in the attic. She can sleep on the sofa bed. She can stay at home and sleep where she wants in her own home.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 23/12/2013 16:10

Nope, not in our house. Stick to your guns!