Mil wants to sleep in our bed

[DrinkFromSantasFountain]

My mil is coming to stay Christmas Eve night, we house share with sil who will be away so mil was to sleep in their bed but mil has decided that she doesn't want to sleep in the attic room she wants our bed, I have problems with anxiety and really can't face the idea of someone sleeping in my bed or me sleeping in sil bed, also ds is 2.5 and still comes into our bed in the night sometimes, especially when he's excited or unsettled so he will probably want to be in bed with me at some point but if I'm in a different bed he wouldn't sleep. We have a perfectly comfortable sofa bed too which she's welcome to.

Am I being unreasonable or is she?

Ensure usually means with all facilities where I come from, 60 is not old

Ensuite rather

That's an unexpected angle. Maybe she wants to share the bed with you, Op.

I rang her, she's having the sofabed, she's admitted she's frightened of the attic stairs which she's never mentioned before I told her straight out I wouldn't be happy with anyone in my bed and that it just wasn't an option.

To the pp who said "was she hoping to sleep with my Dh"
That's just bizarre!!

Or me!! No no no no no

Thanks for the nightmares!!

Glad you got it sorted out OP. Now you can rest easy for Christmas - in your own bed .

Glad it's resolved now, OP.

I completely understand your stance as a fellow FM sufferer. The misery of a crap night's sleep can knock me out for days so I absolutely could not give up my bed for a relative.

My FIL is staying with us for a month. He is staying in our bedroom because he is elderly, has health issues, our bed is comfortable and the room has an en suite.

However, the OP's situation is quite different. Her MIL doesn't even need to spend the night, she isn't elderly, the OP has mobility issues, etc. So in your case I would say YANBU.

So glad it's sorted op. Sorry for the twisted suggestions

Hopefully folk can now stop pretending you're playing a game of Goldilocks and can now acknowledge you have a chronic condition that your (non-elderly) MIL shares and neither trumps the other, but that actually, pain-free, and anxiety-free, slumber solutions have been found for both deserving parties. Op

Can I just say that I also went through this - and was equally dumbfounded about her wanting my bed not one of the two guestrooms.

Took months and months and months until it came out that she'd been in constant stomach related pain and was anxious about not being able to get in the bathroom in time etc.

May be worth your dh gently checking with her that all is well health wise and she's not in more pain than she's letting on/ not wanting to bother the nice Dr etc.

She's only coming because we don't want her to be alone and she wants to see ds when he wakes up to Santa, it's the first year we get a proper Christmas.
His first we all came down with food poisoning and barely got the presents opened, the second was a couple of months after dfil died suddenly of cancer and we were all in a fog of grief.
We're determined this year will be perfect!

She's very open about her pain but only to me, we see each other at least twice a week ad she's te one who first spotted my symptoms and encouraged me to get to the dr to check it out. Most of the family and even Dh arent told the full extent of it.

I think, and this is just me, that maybe there is more to it than that.

Maybe she needs the loo in the night but is too embarressed to let you know, as you have already stated, she needs a bit of help up the stairs.

Maybe one of the kids could sleep in the attic? They might love the change, and she could have their room.

I do agree its a bit much asking for your bed. But if there is an alternative then maybe explore it?

aww I love a happy ending!
whish you all the best for your first proper family christmas!

sorry I missed the update!

Great resolution!

bishboschon "No one sleeps in my bed except me and dh . Sometimes my kids , it's just yuck and I don't have anxiety issues . Tell her to sleep on the sofa or not come."

Given that clean bedding would be used, what's "yuck" about it?

Nothing per se , just how I feel ..

It's not as if I'm the only one with that view .

What do folk do when they are in hotels or visiting folk if their bed is so important to them. Do you freak out at the thought of all those other unknown sweaty, smelly bodies with their bodily fluids getting up to who knows what? Bwahaahahh!

Surely if your MIL is only 20 mins away you could just collect her???

Excellent. Well done tom! You should also have pointed out that perhaps she just wants to be near a toilet during the night too.

Glad it's all sorted OP

Think those without chronic pain take for granted their ability to sleep wherever and then still move afterwards, got to love all the smug "well I'd sleep on the floor if I had to" parts. They have no idea.

I don't stay in hotels, our only recent holiday was in a caravan, i febreezed the mattresses, put plastic protectors on them and took our own duvets and pillows. I also took cups plates and cutlery. I barely slept.
It's not just "I don't want people in my bed" or even that I want my bed for me, the idea of someone even being in my bedroom makes me incredibly anxious.
Lots of things make me very anxious.

glad has been resolved

i would also find it weird having someone in my bed if i was in house - fine if away

attic stairs do seem a tad ott for an elderly person

plus if ds comes into your room then also not good to change about

solution is either sofa bed if not on floor or take her home

next time get dh to sort out, then again he may have agreed and let her

Dh has no patience, he's a bit of an arse with his mum, he'd get all wound up and tell her to piss off.
Any dealings with his mum I do lol