82y old MIL expects me or DH to put in her suppositories when she comes for xmas?

[tiredpooky]

she is constipated last few days and wont even try to put them in herself. (Always been a helpless lady last 20y i've known her, expects others to 'do' for her)
I mean I am right arent I? Totally inappropriate and gross. DH says he wont and I have never got on with the lady...
{makes wretching sound}
she knows she can get the district nurse, but we get the impression that as she is coming here anyway, we might as well do it for her........
has she no shame?

(sorry I shouldn't)

If she was riddled with arthritis and lacked the dexterity to do it herself then I would do it (with gloves on obviously), it only takes a second. Seems rather a lot to drag a district nurse out for at Christmas. If she won't do it because she finds her own bum a bit icky then no, she'd have to make do with prunes.

On a practical note though, if she's only had the constipation for a few days then she would do just as well with oral laxatives such as movicol or lactulose (or prunes).

Disclaimer - medical professional so no longer baulk at the prospect of sticking my finger up peoples bottoms - regardless of whether I like them or not!

Oh my goodness.....no no no. Put down the rubber gloves and step away from the KY. YADNBU

As she's independent & has no mobility problems, this is ridiculous: & I agree it would be a total waste of a nurse's time to have to do a home visit for this.

Basically, OP, you're saying she's too squeamish to stick something up her own bum, but is happy to expect her son / DIL to have to do it? That is beyond weird. I would do it for a loved one if it was essential medication & they couldn't do it themselves - in these circumstances, no way!

If she's independent then no. Its very similar to reaching to wipe yourself and I'd actually be worried about "missing" or pushing in the wrong direct on someone else if you don't know what you're doing.

Does the district nurse come to her at home?

No is a full sentence on its own

Lactulose available from the doctors or chemist get things moving.

No I wouldn't do it either.

If she can wipe her own arse then she can do it herself.

I would get your DH to tell her that!

Surely if she is constipated NOW and takes something today/tomorrow it will all be gone by the time she comes to you. Otherwise give her a liquid medication.

No way. That's just embarrassing for everyone.
Is she that desperate for attention?

I am going to stop moaning about all the wrapping I have left to do

My son has chronic constipation and takes a daily dose of movicol, it's a powder you mix with water or juice. You can buy it over the counter.

As your MIL has no mobility problems I would say no and offer an oral medicine (have something in the house to hand). IF my mum was old and frail with mobility problems that meant she couldn't use a suppository herself then I would do it but I am not at all squeamish about stuff like that. I would be checking with her GP that there wasn't an oral alternative though if she was using them long term.

Go get yourself some lovely long acrylic nails, ready for the party season obvs, show her in a claw/grabbing motion as she arrives. She'll manage her own motion then.

Give her some Senakot! NO way! Big waste of nurse's time, too, if she has no mobility problems.

No no no
Just no.

*"If she can wipe her own arse then she can do it herself.

I would get your DH to tell her that!"*

Wouldn't it be funny if she then decided she wants you to do that for her as well?

X post with KungFu.

Make sure they're glittery

Independent and mobile - shouldn't get the district nurse either, they are for house bound people not entitled ones.

Still feeling the ewwww

As an ex district nurse I can tell you they certainly wouldn't come out for this unless she was immobile or unable to do this herself.

She sounds mega wierd. Who would want their dil let alone their son doing this? Strikes me she's got wires problems than constipation.

Just say no.

Ok, independent and fully mobile.

Syrup of figs and a gallop round the garden ought to do it.

- remind you of something?

Dafuq?!

I've heard it all now, absolutely brilliant.

My response would be "No no no no no no no" and so on

I can heartily recommend movecol. I wws badly constipated after an operation. Took some movecol. A couple of hoirs later: anal carnage.

Straight out like a flock of sparrows.

KungfuBustle - but the OP's dh would need to get a set of acrylics as well - otherwise she'd just expect him to snap on the gloves and get on with it!

I can't imagine my MIL even considering asking me to do this. I am a nurse, so I would do it if necessary, though.