82y old MIL expects me or DH to put in her suppositories when she comes for xmas?

[tiredpooky]

she is constipated last few days and wont even try to put them in herself. (Always been a helpless lady last 20y i've known her, expects others to 'do' for her)
I mean I am right arent I? Totally inappropriate and gross. DH says he wont and I have never got on with the lady...
{makes wretching sound}
she knows she can get the district nurse, but we get the impression that as she is coming here anyway, we might as well do it for her........
has she no shame?

The 'Rainbow' method of suppository insertion

OP please tell us more about Mil. Of course she can doit herself. Had to do mine when 42 weeks pregnant . I would say that if she is too unwell to miss shops for 1 day she should stay at home

Noooooo! Just no.

Ahh the slap bum dance and acorn throwing. Good times...

anyway OP have you gone knuckle deep in nanna yet? sounds like a bad misery lit book doesn't it?! She can't be that bad if she knows about it a week in advance anyways.

OP has not, in fact, been back since starting thread. But never mind - this one makes Penis Beaker look like an episode of Hollyoaks where no one gets their kit off.

Talc I think that could be printed into the official MN Christmas card.

Just genius.

And the line about with friends like this who needs enemas at Christmas?

should be printed inside. I'd buy 'em by the trolley load.

bloody hell...well I hope youre gonna do this AFTER your xmas dinner...no, hang on afterwards may be worse...ohhhh I dont know

Gives a whole new meaning to doing the stuffing at Christmas...oh god..sorry I couldnt resist. But I actually dont believe this is a real post/dilemma it cant be, it just cant...so, hey

Tell her your eyesight's bad and if she needs it done she'll have to bend over backwards on the hostess trolley in front of the queens speech.

no this is genuine!
she told DH on the phone if the lactulose hadnt worked she'd bring the suppositories with her (today) for one of us to put in (she didnt ask us, she 'told' us)
fortunately things got worse and she 'pulled her finger out' because she couldnt wait to see us
she is now a skilled suppository inserter!
thank the lords
its just that, she and i have a terrible relationship, she has had me in tears over the years, she is more than capable, and i cannot see that i would ask one of my children to do that for me unless they had agreed to care for me/personal care, it would seem too much of an ask
i was contemplating doing it, but now , after your posts (and i will admit some laughs at her expense and god i feel i've earnt them over the years), i have learnt i am simply not comfortable with it (for her), and if she asks i will encourage her to be more self caring to try to keep her own independence. i think we do her no favours my jumping when she commands

Thanks for the update OP, you seem to have a bit of a reprieve. Just curious but what was DH's take on the situation? Everyone is over pmsl'ing on the 'jealous sister thread' at the moment, but this one has been very funny.

tiredpooky im glad it's sorted out now and you are reassured that really, really, really YANBU.

I really (no kidding) do have to thank you and the posters because frankly the last months have been hard work and few laughs and I genuinely laughed so much here that I had tears in my eye. Had to hold the Bump becuase my stomach was starting to ache and my husband was asking what on earth I was reading :D

Hope your christmas is lovely and your mil has a change of heart and is nice =)

Pulled her finger out?

Well, you wouldn't want to leave I there tbh…

it

Thank-you for the update!

We were all getting a little worried that you were, maybe... stuck somewhere

Knuckle Deep in Nanna

Rule 34: if you can imagine it, there's porn of it.

had this made classics yet?

Have been imagining Madonna singing "you must be my lucky star" all thread.
Starting to feel my MIL is very reasonable indeed now.

I suppose not.

Gross. Just Gross.

How did Xmas go OP?