82y old MIL expects me or DH to put in her suppositories when she comes for xmas?

[tiredpooky]

she is constipated last few days and wont even try to put them in herself. (Always been a helpless lady last 20y i've known her, expects others to 'do' for her)
I mean I am right arent I? Totally inappropriate and gross. DH says he wont and I have never got on with the lady...
{makes wretching sound}
she knows she can get the district nurse, but we get the impression that as she is coming here anyway, we might as well do it for her........
has she no shame?

OMG I am laughing like mutley at this thread

stick the suppository up the grandma (blindfolded I assume!)

as for this comment
starofbethlehem - my preference for the brolly was that you could open it (probably first) and hence not actually have to see anything. Whereas with a cane you'd get the full view. IMHO the brolley would also provide protection from any rogue splatters/explosions

If this was my dilemma I wouldn't touch her with a bargepole.........although on second thoughts, that might be the perfect tool for the job.........

[fsnortinglikeapig]

Christmas is all about kids and family (and baby Jesus), so I,d be getting the kids to do it.

No really, feed her movicol the minute she's in the door.

Meh. I'd do it if necessary. So would dh. With gloves obviously.

But if you really don't want to I also recommend movicol - but make sure she is in the bathroom and if you only have one toilet make sure everyone else has been. She'll be in there a while.

"Lucky Star(fish)"? It's funny how many Madonna singles lend themselves to anal situations, actually. Except maybe "This Used To Be My Playground".

Ha ha ha!!! Even Ray of Light and Live to Tell have acquired new meanings now!

If she is fully mobile then yes tell her to do it herself. Anything else is just absurd and I think a little controlling of her tbh - she wants you exactly where she wants you doesn't she? If she was unwell then you have to glove up and get on with it, taking refuge in the consolation that it's a simple task that gives a lot of relief.
As it is though she doesn't even need suppositories. She just needs to be disciplined about what she eats and drinks. Bet she doesn't drink enough because she doesn't want to be always at the loo.

Open Your Arse Heart.

"Take A Bow" sounds like an instruction. Even the after-effects of Movicol are referenced in "Drowned World". I think there might be a thesis in this...

get her some syrup of figs (do you still get that ) i wouldnt put an inlaws supposotries in, who does it when she is at home

Gambler....if you don't get out of the way quickly enough once the missile is in the bomb bay.

Papa Don't Preach?

Granny don't fart, I'm in trouble deep.

She's definitely crossesd the Borderline too.

Dame - Tech was trying to stop us posting blank posts. Looks like he's done it :(

OP - not a bloody hope for someone who could do it themselves or use an alternative. No way.

Oh god what a hilarious thread. Some of the replies are so funny but poor op I wouldn't do it either x

Well, if you

Well, if you together, you,ll be causing Granny's motion.

Well, if you together, you,ll be causing Granny's motion.

altogether now sing along to Madonnas Holiday alternative version!

Holiday, defecate
Holiday, defecate

If we took a suppository yeah
Took some time to defecate
Just one day out of life
It would be
It would be so nice
Everybody spread the cheeks
We're gonna have a suppository
All across the world

Holiday, deficate
Holiday, deficate

All across the world
In every bathroom
It's time for the bum pill
Forget about the stuck poo
One day to come together
To release the pressure
We need a holiday

I have to much time on my hands

shes 82 so its probably loosened off a little by now so shouldn't be too difficult to get something in there. you just need to hope she doesn't have a coughing fit while your doing it (coughing fit isn't a euphanism or rhyming slang)

Yuck! I have done this for DS (when he was 3), but no chance I'd do this for anyone I hadn't given birth to. Nope.

(coughing fit isn't a euphanism or rhyming slang) LOL!

Just bung a few extra sprouts on her plate, that should "eliminate" the need for any suppositories!

God this is terrible . I can't actually bear to read any more but thank you for putting some perspective on my jazzy sprouts angst

Papa Don't Preach?

Granny don't fart, I'm in trouble deep.

Surely that should say 'I'm in knuckle deep'

^^ I can't handle it any more!!!!!
My face hurts. Stop it! Stop it!