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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

82y old MIL expects me or DH to put in her suppositories when she comes for xmas?

372 replies

tiredpooky · 20/12/2013 12:22

she is constipated last few days and wont even try to put them in herself. (Always been a helpless lady last 20y i've known her, expects others to 'do' for her)
I mean I am right arent I? Totally inappropriate and gross. DH says he wont and I have never got on with the lady...
{makes wretching sound}
she knows she can get the district nurse, but we get the impression that as she is coming here anyway, we might as well do it for her........
has she no shame?

OP posts:
jendot · 20/12/2013 17:22

Going against the grain here. But I would feel really sorry for her and get on with it (having had to get my poor dh to do a few for me after a csec....being unable to reach your own arse is bad enough....having to ask someone else to do it is mortifying!)
Compassion....no one?

Putitonthelist · 20/12/2013 17:24

Grin on the floor @ YouTheCat

Kevinsbowel · 20/12/2013 17:34

I live in dread of being asked to change my MILs catheter bag. My saintly SIL has done so. And so has my very saintly DH. But she is proper fragile and can't manage it.

All this movicol is far too humane. There is caster oil which ought to bring back her childhood and make her feel right at home.

"We thought we'd have one me those world war 2 nostalgia things, like the a great british Bake off. Constipation remedies of the past. Would you like the liquid paraffin first, or the syrup of figs?"

Kevinsbowel · 20/12/2013 17:35

Jendot, I think there would be compassion of the lady was really fragile and couldn't do it, but the Op says not, it is a bizarre form of attention seeking.

Squidwardtenticles · 20/12/2013 17:39

If your OH refuses to do it then that is surely grounds for divorce haha.

HesterShaw · 20/12/2013 17:41

Kevins, my DM has a stoma. And I'm the most squeamish person ever.

ArtisanLentilWeaver · 20/12/2013 17:42

There is always the Ballachulish Bagpipe because with friends like your MIL, who needs enemas.

MinnieBar · 20/12/2013 17:48

I'm envisaging Madonna in the Jean-Paul Gaultier era personally.

Who is doing it now? And how did she bring this up in conversation with your DH??

Kevinsbowel · 20/12/2013 17:49

We have been having an offline conversation re "put the suppository up grandma". My correspondent has asked if it should be played blindfold, or not?

We agreed that the blindfold version would involve much groping towards the right spot.

WholeLottaRosie · 20/12/2013 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sapfu · 20/12/2013 18:26

lol lol lol at YouTheCat's echo

zipzap · 20/12/2013 18:40

No way. and dh wouldn't want to either. Particularly if his mum was physically able to do it, but just didn't want to.

Would just say that it's ok, she can do it once she is back at home so that she is able to use and mess up her own toilet, and then she won't have the worry of having exploding projectile poo if the suppository (or if you persuade her to drink movicol, prune juice etc) works a little too well...

Because I am betting that if she is the sort of person that doesn't deign to stick her suppository in then she isn't going to expect to clear up any resulting mess... And because of that she isn't going to care if she has an accident or doesn't make it to the loo in time, because she knows she won't have to clear it up or live with any stains or horrors left behind.

Sell it as an advantage - she won't have to worry about dashing to the loo until she returns home (assuming she is not coming to you for too long, obviously this is not going to work as a tactic if she is planning on coming to stay until she has unblocked herself completely out of her own home so she doesn't need to deal with it for a few days.

Or why not change her invite - tell her to come once she has got rid of her constipation, she obviously won't want to be away from the comforts of her own home, in discomfort etc. Much better for her to deal with it at home and then come to see you when she is all better Xmas Grin. This is what I would be (dare I say it) pushing for, but I guess it depends how much you like having your mil there!

Also do you have any dc that you can use as an excuse for not doing it - no, not that they do it - but that you don't think that it is a good idea for her to be around and needing to dash to the toilet when little dc is still at the stage of needing to rush to the loo when he remembers to go or because there isn't enough loo facility in the house to have her blocking one up for a long time... clutching at straws here to get you some decent excuses Xmas Grin

Thing is, mil has already crossed a line just by asking you to do this! At least you can keep throwing it back to your dh if he says he's not going to do it by saying 'nor am I. She's not my mother - she's your mother so it's something you need to sort out together. Either you do it or you organise the district nurse (and get told not to waste their time) or tell her to come another time when she is better'.

Good luck - you have to let us know the outcome!

quietbatperson · 20/12/2013 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dubjackeen · 20/12/2013 18:53

I was holding it together (just) until the game of Stick the suppository up Grandma
Definitely an idea for Dragons Den. Xmas Grin
I should not have opened this thread during a quiet moment at work today!

notapizzaeater · 20/12/2013 18:56

Just wiped the tears off my face.

My exdh had some sort of anal warts and had to have wart burning liquid painted on them daily, all went well for the first week, then I found out about the other woman, my hand slipped whilst I was applying it and he ended up sitting in the bath for a good couple of hours.

I'd be giving her movical smoothies followed by date slices.

minouminou · 20/12/2013 19:06

That is all.

AChristmassyJerseySpud · 20/12/2013 19:12

Suddenly my dinner doesn't seem quite to appetising...

Dementedhousewife · 20/12/2013 19:18

Seriously? your MIL wants you to insert her rectal rocket? No! just no!. There is a line and crossing that line to part the crevice is a step too far. I second the blue tack and backing in slowly idea.

Although it could be worse at least she hasn't suggested a manual evacuation.

MrsDavidBowie · 20/12/2013 19:21

Another appropriate Madonna song would be "Like a Virgin" [ grin]

TheNightIsDark · 20/12/2013 19:23

I've got 4 boxes of DS's movicol here. Pop by and you can wrap some up for Xmas for her.

gettingeasiernow · 20/12/2013 19:26

No. Way.
Just being asked would force me to terminate all relations.

DameDeepRedBetty · 20/12/2013 19:30

[[
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BitOfFunWithSanta · 20/12/2013 19:37

There's already a thread in Classics about Anal PILs. This may have ousted it Xmas Grin.

SauvignonBlanche · 20/12/2013 19:41

Speechless! Xmas Shock

SuperScrimper · 20/12/2013 19:45

Not in a million years. Jesus Christ. Just no.

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