AIBU to have reported this RI shop assistant?

[Vikki88]

I went into my local River Island store today, knowing what I wanted to buy having seen the items online but wanting to try them on before buying. I had the usual “Do you need a hand with anything?” from the shop assistant but I told her I didn’t need any help and she went away.

After seeing me picking up what I wanted, she came back over & asked if I was ok – to which I obviously said yes, she’d only spoken to me 2 minutes ago. Not paying attention to my answer, she then ‘helpfully’ started pointing out other items which she thought were nice before adding that they’d suit me & possibly “even more” than what I had in my hands – all in that annoyingly false happy/enthusiastic voice. Now I can only say that the clothes she was trying to push me towards were frumpy, boring & not at all me. I bit my lip but to me her underlying thoughts were that I didn't have the figure to wear the clothes that I wanted to buy and should wear clothes which covered more… something which really is nothing to do with her.

Already feeling insulted, I ignored her & went to try on my clothes but not before she ‘helpfully’ added she could help me out if I needed any other sizes – we all know what she was insinuating with that. Anyway, I tried on my outfit & as it turns out I did need bigger sizes and I was perfectly willing to go and sort this myself without any fuss. However, as soon as I leave the changing room I see her and she asks, and I quote, “Were they alright for you? Do you need anything bigger?” and with that I’d had enough. I don’t come into shops for snarky comments or to be judged by staff. I said “no” and walked off… I felt too embarrassed to go & actually get the bigger sizes and to give this cow the satisfaction of being right. I did see her supervisor/manager as I was leaving & went over & reported her and she apologised on her behalf – I never report anyone but I thought she deserved it.

The shop assistant was a young girl but that doesn’t give her the right to be blatantly rude to customers. I’m very aware I’ve been putting on weight recently and don’t need people like her making me feel insecure about it. I wonder how many other customers this girl has offended with her lack of tact?

Yabu. I used to work in retail. I have been yelled at, sworn at, absused and gone home crying for simply following store policies. Op you were completely unreasonable to that worker. After working in retail for over a decade its because of people like you i will never go back. I was fed up of being moaned at by customers and managers for doing what i was supposed to yet customers still werent happy.
I really feel for that sa. Bet she has got a bollocking. Merry christmas to her!

Poster after poster has come on and pointed out that the assistant will have been required to "help" all customers to choose additional clothes. You seem determined, in the face of all those posts, to believe not only that she singled you out especially but also that it was because you are "not a size 0".

For those who really hate the scripted questions, complain to the head offices about it rather than the stores. Head office rarely listen to store managers about this stuff, but they might listen to customers.

I dont work in retail but in customer service and we are moving away from scripted questions to 'key points' so basically we have to say certain words to the customer but make is seem natual as possible

it started with 'just say you are there to help'

now it is. say you are 'here to help' but you must also use the words 'new initiative' 'select customers' 'ensure you get the best from your product'

it is essentally back to being a script without being a script lol, there are only so many ways you can say it

Ha ha ha..... For someone as thick skinned on as you come across on this thread, I am surprised your sensibilities were so hurt by a sales assistant..

YABU Vikki

Are you going to tell us why you posted the question on AIBU when you clearly already felt you weren't been unreasonable?

YABU.

I work in retail. We are told to approach customers and we are given a speaking to by management if we don't. I'm not as OTT as the sales assistant you encountered, but she could have been a Xmas Temp desperate to be noticed and kept on in January. We have a few Xmas Temps at the moment. One in particular is super helpful, always approachig customers and making conversation. It is likely she'll be the only one to be kept on. And even if this poor sales assistant wasn't a Xmas Temp, she is obviously very keen to do her job and be helpful. Maybe she's been pulled up on her lack of approach so she's trying overly hard. She has no idea how your insecurities. You're looking into comments that just weren't there. The manager probably apologised then rolled her eyes when you left.

You're the same age as me. I don't refer to my 18yr old colleagues as "young girls". Her age is irrelevant. One customer made a written complaint about a 24yr old I work with. The complaint called her "some 18yr old". So age isn't always obvious and has nothing to do with her manner or experience.

NotYo Haha, oh those are some nice natural phrases aren't they? Bloody stupid head office initiatives, do wonder how they come up with them, certainly not with any advice from anyone who ever actually talks to customers!

she seemed to assume that because I'm not a size 0 I'd need help with choosing clothes

That is the most ridiculous thing I've read on this thread. It is all in your insecurity filled head.

Incidentally all the high fashion items this season look horribly frumpy to me. SIL who is a senior fashion designer and not yet thirty looks about fifty to me in her dainty blouses and tapered trousers

So the assistant might actually have been complimenting OP by offering her the latest looks even if they are bafflingly ugly.

As someone whos worked in retail a long time I very much doubt this girl was judging your figure or thought you would look better in boring frumpy clothes, its much more likely as its Christmas and shes mostly likely a temp! this girl is on customer service and has been sent to talk to all customers in here area & will get bollocked by her manager for not offering suggestions. Due to your own insecurities you have not only been rude to this poor young girl! But she will at least get a verbal warning!
Please remember this girl will have see people fatter or with worse taste than you!
Calm down!

YABVVVU.

I used to work in retail and it is nowhere near as simple as "take people's money for the shit they wish to purchase". You are constantly given targets and sales tactics - and observed to make sure you're doing all the additional crap besides helping people pay for the stuff they've chosen.

She was doing her job. They're supposed to offer you help and make sure you know you can ask them to pick up different sizes or colours. She sounds like she's actually very good at her job, possibly a little overzealous at most.

What the hell were you reporting her for?! She sounds as if she was nothing more than a little overzealous in her customer service.

I have to say shame on you if this girl got into trouble for this!

i doubt anyone would be given a warning over this, surely if the op is aggrieved she did the right thing in compaining to the manager, they won't know it irritated unless someone tells them, hopefully the assistant will think before she irritated in the future. not a big deal surely.

If the shop assistant genuinely did something that justified a complaint, then yes, by all means complain.

However, OP specifically mentioned that she reported the girl, which suggests that she wasn't intending anything she said as constructive criticism or a suggestion for improvement, but moreso to get this person into trouble (That's definitely the way it comes across in her post)

Being aggrieved/irritated is not a reason to report someone. Getting someone else into trouble because you're oversensitive is not acceptable.

Op....you first say you 'reported her'. What did you report her about/for?

You then say you 'complained' about her? Saying what?

YABU. You spent the entire time in the shop second guessing that the assistant had some sort of ulterior motive. You assumed to start with that she meant bigger sizes when she explained she could fetch other sizes for you. Your idea of frumpy is not everyone else's idea of frumpy, so she may have been pointing out other fashionable items she thought you may like.

From the sounds of it she was just trying to be helpful and you assumed she was being a cow for offering assistance.

And I'm gonna be honest, customers like you are the reason I absolutely dread getting up and going to work, as nothing is ever right for you. I expect you'd be the first to complain if you needed assistance and there wasn't anyone around.

I've read the threat OP and I don't think anyone is unreasonable to be irritated by shop assistants who are over exuberant especially when wanting to be left alone - however that's general policy and not the fault of the woman who was trying to do her job. I am a mystery shopper from time to time and had she just wandered off after her first rebuttal and had she not continued to do as she'd been trained then I would have had to mention it all in my report and 'downgrade' her for it.

You were being VU to report her and presume so much from something that is common practice and insisted upon by the company she works for. You took it personally and from reading your comments you seem to be trying to justify that and seek validation rather then hold your hands up and said 'okay, I was wrong, I'm feeling a bit shit about some things and it affected my judgement'. We've all been there, who hasn't been irritated by something someone has said and done even when it's the most innocent and innocuous, purely because we feel crap about it or feel defensive? It's normal, you accept it and you move on.

I doubt you will change your mind after so many attempts to justify and ignoring so many peoples experience, so you may be better hiding the thread and leaving it be. You won't change the minds of anyone who has said YABU, you just appear more unreasonable the more you add.

How mean. I can't believe you complained about her. I've worked in retail for years and whether I liked it or not, I had to ask customers if they needed help. I would sense a customer didn't want to be asked this but I didn't have any choice and would do it as subtly as possible so as not to annoy the customer.

AND I could tell just by a person walking in the shop, what size they were. You just know. She was trying to be helpful, that's all. It was customers like you I used to dread. You would make a point not to bother them and just be around and next minute they would be complaining that you were ignoring them!

I dropped a previous good friend because I got fed up with her constantly 'mind reading' what everyone said and making it a negative comment about her. As if everyone was talking about her constantly? Aargh!

Anyway, clearly the OP will ignore all the YABU posts but it's a timely reminder to me and probably others to appreciate the staff working in retail at this time of year and especially on the Customer Services counters in January.

When I get asked if I want help, I find that asking for help eg "ooh actually have you got any Christmas jumpers in?" or "just point me in the direction of the party frocks please" gets a good response. They answer the question then back off.

You were projecting and sound like an awful customer.
She was probably trying to be helpful.
Clearly you have issues with your size but why on earth report her for trying to help (albeit badly).

OP, you also don't think you are being unreasonable so why on earth post? Why? I never get why people do this.

I don't think you were being unreasonable. I take on board others' points about her training and pressure from managers but honestly I'd have hot-footed it out of there once she started pointing out clothes to me. It's very difficult to keep a bright smile and an 'er -yeeees!' when thinking 'yuck!'

Projecting maybe but I wouldn't be thrilled with 'do you need a bigger size?' I am size 10-12 so normal weight and certainly not big, but a comment like that would have been wondering if I looked a lot lardier than I thought!

That's really spiteful loller