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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to have reported this RI shop assistant?

308 replies

Vikki88 · 17/12/2013 12:09

I went into my local River Island store today, knowing what I wanted to buy having seen the items online but wanting to try them on before buying. I had the usual “Do you need a hand with anything?” from the shop assistant but I told her I didn’t need any help and she went away.

After seeing me picking up what I wanted, she came back over & asked if I was ok – to which I obviously said yes, she’d only spoken to me 2 minutes ago. Not paying attention to my answer, she then ‘helpfully’ started pointing out other items which she thought were nice before adding that they’d suit me & possibly “even more” than what I had in my hands – all in that annoyingly false happy/enthusiastic voice. Now I can only say that the clothes she was trying to push me towards were frumpy, boring & not at all me. I bit my lip but to me her underlying thoughts were that I didn't have the figure to wear the clothes that I wanted to buy and should wear clothes which covered more… something which really is nothing to do with her.

Already feeling insulted, I ignored her & went to try on my clothes but not before she ‘helpfully’ added she could help me out if I needed any other sizes – we all know what she was insinuating with that. Anyway, I tried on my outfit & as it turns out I did need bigger sizes and I was perfectly willing to go and sort this myself without any fuss. However, as soon as I leave the changing room I see her and she asks, and I quote, “Were they alright for you? Do you need anything bigger?” and with that I’d had enough. I don’t come into shops for snarky comments or to be judged by staff. I said “no” and walked off… I felt too embarrassed to go & actually get the bigger sizes and to give this cow the satisfaction of being right. I did see her supervisor/manager as I was leaving & went over & reported her and she apologised on her behalf – I never report anyone but I thought she deserved it.

The shop assistant was a young girl but that doesn’t give her the right to be blatantly rude to customers. I’m very aware I’ve been putting on weight recently and don’t need people like her making me feel insecure about it. I wonder how many other customers this girl has offended with her lack of tact?

OP posts:

AmberLeaf · 17/12/2013 22:41

That is what she is told to do, I find it a bit annoying, but I know they have no choice.

For all she knew, you could have been a mystery shopper, if she'd ignored you, she could get in to trouble.

You know what's worse than being constantly asked if you'd like any help etc?

Being the one having to do it, even though you know that lots of shoppers hate you for it.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 17/12/2013 23:21

So OP, you tried the self-selected too small, unflattering clothes on, and they looked awful. I suspect you were right about the shop assistant steering you towards the frumpy clothes. If you had taken her advice and tried on clothes in the correct size that flattered your figure, and I bet she knows what looks good on what body shapes etc, then you may not have bought them but I bet you'd not be haunted by the sight of your flesh spilling out or zips refusing to fasten. River Island don't do clothes for fat people so the fact you can even shop in there means, although you've put on weight, you are still basically human shaped, lucky you. Next time, why not take some well meant advice. She knows you won't buy clothes that make you look awful (too small, unflattering) and RI want their clothes to look good on you, it's a bad advert for them if you look terrible. She was trying to help you. Yes, you were VERY unreasonable to complain.

Caitlin17 · 17/12/2013 23:53

YWBVU. She was doing her job. It turned out she was right about the size. Well yes ,it's horrible when you take what you think is the right size in to the changing room and it's too small but taking it out on the assistant is really a bit pathetic and nasty.

I really don't see what is tactful and offensive about her offering to get you clothes in the right size.

BiscuitMillionaire · 18/12/2013 00:03

Ha ha, good one. Quite funny. How very dare she?

MonsterMunchMe · 18/12/2013 00:24

I've worked in customer services for 10 years.

There is always someone like you! Projecting your own paranoia and low feelings of self worth onto everyone else.

She was just doing her job, the whole world does not revolve around you and is not out to get you.

If you've gained weight, lose it. Don't get your nickers in a twist over some poor girl doing her job.

And saying bigger sizes is fine, a 10 is bigger than a 8.....that's not sizest

And you did need a bigger size she was right!

pigletmania · 18/12/2013 00:41

Yanbu they can be very annoying, you sad on more than one occasion that you dd not need her help. Mabey she was a young over zealous teenager, her manager might have given her some helpful suggestions on better customer service.

Caitlin17 · 18/12/2013 00:47

Better customer service? The girl correctly identified the OP had selected clothes which were too small and offered to get the correct size? OP then goes off in a tizzy and reports the girl.

Sorry , I think OP should apologise to the sales assistant.

MILLYMOLLYMANDYMAX · 18/12/2013 00:52

Sometime I shop for my daughter v.tall and v, thin and a teen. Me short and dumpy.
Try going into a shop and start looking at mini skirts size 4 and the looks you get are priceless. Oh and you get followed around the store like you are about to shop lift. The number of times you are asked if they can help you is annoying.

BrianTheMole · 18/12/2013 01:06

I think yabu. I went into debenhams and the assistant said the same thing to me. She went on got the bigger size and also brought some other stuff she thought might be ok. I was really impressed. She came out with comments like; no one has the perfect figure and good underwear and smooth lines are the key. She was fab actually and I came away very happy. Having said that, if you were making it clear you wanted to be left alone then maybe she should have picked up on that. But maybe you missed out on something good because of that too.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 18/12/2013 07:07

Given its target market, are any of the clothes in RI "frumpy"? I haven't been in there for years.

pigletmania · 18/12/2013 08:05

Caitlin not everyone wants an assistant Hanging round their neck, some customers just want to be left alone, like op, a more trained assistant would have recognised that and backed off!

pigletmania · 18/12/2013 08:07

As a result they lost custom

Caitlin17 · 18/12/2013 08:10

I was referring more to the fact that the assistant was completely correct about the sizes. What is so awful about offering to bring the correct sizes? Nothing it's being helpful.

The OP came across as really spiteful and making all sorts of nasty assumptions about what the assistant was thinking.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 18/12/2013 08:11

I think quite a few of us can agree that the sales pitter patter is fairly irritating but it's not the fault of the sales assistant, so it's not on to complain about an individual. If you really hate it, complain to management but don't pick on the floor staff who (going by this thread) also find the sales pitter patter a tad annoying!

Caitlin17 · 18/12/2013 08:15

I'm not the target market for RI but as others have said OP got all worked up about being offered " frumpy" clothes. Really? In a shop aimed at teenagers and early 20s?

Sounds like her annoyance was at being pointed to the ones which had a chance of fitting her as opposed to the ones she picked out and which she herself stated didn't fit.

southeastastra · 18/12/2013 08:19

ker-ching on the use of projrcting once again

these threads are very follow the leader aren't they

Jengnr · 18/12/2013 08:21

You are not being unreasonable at all. She wants to learn that to be successful selling clothes it's a good idea not to make her customers feel like shit.

You've every right to not want to be mithered when you're out shopping and she ought to have respected that once you made it clear you were ok. Her targets are no more your problem than your work targets are hers.

pigletmania · 18/12/2013 08:24

I agree cailtlyn, it is about the op insecurities about her body, the assistant just trotted out the standard lines, and she was right? However she should have left op alone when it became clear op looked annoyed and uncomfortable, it's about reading body language. I would not have reported the assistant but mabey walked out the shop and come back another time

pigletmania · 18/12/2013 08:27

I hate being haranged by assistants when out shopping, and that would annoy me. Usually I'm fine thanks is enough for assistant to respect you and leave you alone, if customers wanted assistant help they would ask!

pigletmania · 18/12/2013 08:29

Mabey op should have told her that she was fine, and if she needed any help she would find her

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 18/12/2013 08:30

these threads are very follow the leader aren't they

Or maybe people are right. Just a thought.

mewmeow · 18/12/2013 08:32

Yabu. Shocking. They get trained to be like that, if you have a real issue it's with the management. Except obviously it wasn't because the real issue is your self esteem.

pigletmania · 18/12/2013 08:39

Can be very follow the leader ish. No not all high street shop assistants are like this, usually I'm fine thanks is enough for them to go away or not come up to you again unless you ask them. This assistant was a bit enthusiastic and mabey need to learn when to give customers some space

Flossyfloof · 18/12/2013 08:45

YABU. I can't understand why, at this distance, you can't see that your actions were mean in the extreme.
I, unlike many, others, think it highly likely that she did get a bollocking following your complaint. If it was so bloody awful why are you saying that you only complained because the supervisor was there?
Mean, mean, mean.
Now you should give them a ring and say that you over-reacted. Or give them a ring, describe the girl, and say that you were in a few days ago and that she was really helpful.
I worked in retail for years, too. I also understand your sensitivity.

MrsDeVere · 18/12/2013 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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