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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have reported this RI shop assistant?

308 replies

Vikki88 · 17/12/2013 12:09

I went into my local River Island store today, knowing what I wanted to buy having seen the items online but wanting to try them on before buying. I had the usual “Do you need a hand with anything?” from the shop assistant but I told her I didn’t need any help and she went away.

After seeing me picking up what I wanted, she came back over & asked if I was ok – to which I obviously said yes, she’d only spoken to me 2 minutes ago. Not paying attention to my answer, she then ‘helpfully’ started pointing out other items which she thought were nice before adding that they’d suit me & possibly “even more” than what I had in my hands – all in that annoyingly false happy/enthusiastic voice. Now I can only say that the clothes she was trying to push me towards were frumpy, boring & not at all me. I bit my lip but to me her underlying thoughts were that I didn't have the figure to wear the clothes that I wanted to buy and should wear clothes which covered more… something which really is nothing to do with her.

Already feeling insulted, I ignored her & went to try on my clothes but not before she ‘helpfully’ added she could help me out if I needed any other sizes – we all know what she was insinuating with that. Anyway, I tried on my outfit & as it turns out I did need bigger sizes and I was perfectly willing to go and sort this myself without any fuss. However, as soon as I leave the changing room I see her and she asks, and I quote, “Were they alright for you? Do you need anything bigger?” and with that I’d had enough. I don’t come into shops for snarky comments or to be judged by staff. I said “no” and walked off… I felt too embarrassed to go & actually get the bigger sizes and to give this cow the satisfaction of being right. I did see her supervisor/manager as I was leaving & went over & reported her and she apologised on her behalf – I never report anyone but I thought she deserved it.

The shop assistant was a young girl but that doesn’t give her the right to be blatantly rude to customers. I’m very aware I’ve been putting on weight recently and don’t need people like her making me feel insecure about it. I wonder how many other customers this girl has offended with her lack of tact?

OP posts:
lollerskates · 17/12/2013 19:54

I wonder if Wolverhampton River Island has a Twitter feed. We could link them to this thread and send our congratulations to the shop assistant who was doing her job exactly as she'd been told to.

Groovee · 17/12/2013 19:54

I do think you were unreasonable to complain about her.

I hate being pestered but have learned how to smile sweetly and say No Thank You. It's part of their job, they are trained to do these things.

She was only doing her job and you never know she may have been older than you, just looks younger!

How would you feel if, while doing your job, someone took offence to it and complained? I think you'd be upset that you were only doing your job!

lollerskates · 17/12/2013 19:54

And so is the OP, stgeorge You reap what you sow.

stgeorgiaandthedragon · 17/12/2013 19:56

Please don't.

I'm not joking, if I was faced with a shop assistant following me around and into changing rooms, I would never shop in store again but buy all clothes online!

It's interesting that for all 'she's doing her job!' arguments, I have NEVER been pursued around a shop in the way described by the OP! Was asked about six times if I needed help in waterstones one Christmas but that was just different sales assistants.

Maybe I just look boring but I would be mightily peeved. I do take on board she's young and enthusiastic but all the same I would find it bloody annoying!

stgeorgiaandthedragon · 17/12/2013 19:57

I don't think she was spiteful, I think she was pissed off!

annieorangutan · 17/12/2013 19:59

That poor shop assistant Confused

lollerskates · 17/12/2013 20:02

if I was faced with a shop assistant following me around and into changing rooms, I would never shop in store again but buy all clothes online!

Really? Do you honestly find people smiling at you and speaking to you that intolerably offensive?

candycoatedwaterdrops · 17/12/2013 20:03

You have serious weight ishoos and took it out on that poor sales assistant. YABU!

Killinascullion · 17/12/2013 20:03

Stgeorge, the OP was BVU because she was making ridiculous negative assumptions about what the sales assistant must have been thinking whenever she opened her mouth.

If she'd just complained about being stalked by the sales assistant, the thread would have been a bit more supportive.

sebsmummy1 · 17/12/2013 20:12

Actually I don't think you are being unreasonable.

I fucking hate being pestered by sales staff, I want to be left alone unless I look lost or ask. Whilst the SA may have been doing her job I hope RI receive a link to this thread.

I feel as though we are becoming Americanised, I assume because the High Street shops are being bought by large multi national companies with their head quarters in the US.

I do not want to be asked how I am and directed towards things. I do not want to smell or sniff or have things applied to me or suggested to me. I don't want a store card or to give feedback online to take part in a competition. I don't want to have a loyalty card or to be ups old done tat that is sitting in the countertop.

What I want is to walk into a store and be allowed to browse and then I wish to be allowed to walk out the store or make my way to the till and pay.

sebsmummy1 · 17/12/2013 20:13

Upsold some

stgeorgiaandthedragon · 17/12/2013 20:25

Lollerskates, yes, to be perfectly honest! A quick hi, need any help - sure, but I would feel uncomfortable and annoyed in the situation described by the OP, and it's nothing to do with the weight issue.

I concede the assistant may have been following instructions but I have never been pursued like this in a shop - ever! (Thank god!)

ZillionChocolate · 17/12/2013 20:31

She was adhering to a sometimes irritating policy. Your reaction was so over the top I thought it was a joke post.

quietlysuggests · 17/12/2013 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

octopusinasantasack · 17/12/2013 20:35

YANBU. Overbearing shop assistants annoy me. I'd have left the store without complaining but that's just me, I hate to make a fuss.

ashamedoverthinker · 17/12/2013 20:40

YANBU about the 'pestering thing' - I hate this too in shops, you can't get in the door in some places...piss off!

But I also think you do sound sensitive about your image - I darent go shopping at the mo - I needed a belt two weeks ago....xmas not even been yet.

Anyways I think you were right to report, she needs to learn how to be a bit more tactful. You need to explore how you feel about your image...but I wish I could shop in RI, havn't done for years!

crazyafterall · 17/12/2013 20:50

I don't think the sales assistant will get bollocked. They know that some customers are just awful and quite paranoid like the OP - unfortunately it comes with the territory in retail.

southeastastra · 17/12/2013 20:52

i hope the op has hidden this thread, these crappy comments aren't going to make her feel any better are they?

some of you need to open the gin

cantbelievemyeyes · 17/12/2013 21:19

Yes YABU to have 'reported' the shop assistant. I'm curious as to what you reported her for/ what you said to the manager. It's one thing to complain that you don't like the stores policies/ sales tactics etc, but if you have complained on the basis that she somehow insulted you then that seems unfair. You have made a lot of assumptions but the things you've told us don't indicate that those assumptions are correct.

I am very overweight (River Island don't make clothes in my size) and I too have occasionally felt that people are probably thinking all sorts about me. I can say quite confidently that I'd be wrong the majority of the time- all you can do is take people at face value and from what you've said this seems like a fairly typical interaction.

Just my personal experience- but the people who want to make you feel like shit tend to use a much less subtle approach. I have been called a fat cunt, spat at and had all sorts of abuse over the years. I don't question that you feel upset by what's happened, but I do think you should take note of the overwhelming response that you seem to have overreacted and this is very likely more as a result of how you're feeling about your weight generally at the moment.

feathermucker · 17/12/2013 21:24

Then she should, perhaps, not ask such a ridiculous question in what is a notoriously heated online environment.

She has not come across "aww diddums" at ANY point on this thread, therefore I certainly don't feel sorry for her.

They're not crappy comments; they're honest - and if she has hidden the thread as she doesn't like the responses (95%+ of which are not in her favour) then maybe she's learned that this wasn't an appropriate way to act ;)

I have no gin, but think I may have Bailey's somewhere ;)

CoffeeTea103 · 17/12/2013 21:43

Yabu, sounded like you well needed the bigger sizes as was obvious when you came out to change the size, so I don't see what's wrong with her suggesting. You sound horrible overall though.

hwjm1945 · 17/12/2013 21:51

Surely the original post is a joke?

SatinSandals · 17/12/2013 22:02

I read it through twice, still can't see anything rude about it.

doasyouwouldbedoneby · 17/12/2013 22:13

Poor girl. she was trying to be helpful and just doing her job. She may have been a Christmas temp who was being over zealous in attempt to be kept on after Christmas.
YABVVU

Salmotrutta · 17/12/2013 22:37

I kind of thought the OP was a bit spoof-like I must admit hwjm Confused

Maybe it was the phraseology or something...