AIBU to have reported this RI shop assistant?

[Vikki88]

I went into my local River Island store today, knowing what I wanted to buy having seen the items online but wanting to try them on before buying. I had the usual “Do you need a hand with anything?” from the shop assistant but I told her I didn’t need any help and she went away.

After seeing me picking up what I wanted, she came back over & asked if I was ok – to which I obviously said yes, she’d only spoken to me 2 minutes ago. Not paying attention to my answer, she then ‘helpfully’ started pointing out other items which she thought were nice before adding that they’d suit me & possibly “even more” than what I had in my hands – all in that annoyingly false happy/enthusiastic voice. Now I can only say that the clothes she was trying to push me towards were frumpy, boring & not at all me. I bit my lip but to me her underlying thoughts were that I didn't have the figure to wear the clothes that I wanted to buy and should wear clothes which covered more… something which really is nothing to do with her.

Already feeling insulted, I ignored her & went to try on my clothes but not before she ‘helpfully’ added she could help me out if I needed any other sizes – we all know what she was insinuating with that. Anyway, I tried on my outfit & as it turns out I did need bigger sizes and I was perfectly willing to go and sort this myself without any fuss. However, as soon as I leave the changing room I see her and she asks, and I quote, “Were they alright for you? Do you need anything bigger?” and with that I’d had enough. I don’t come into shops for snarky comments or to be judged by staff. I said “no” and walked off… I felt too embarrassed to go & actually get the bigger sizes and to give this cow the satisfaction of being right. I did see her supervisor/manager as I was leaving & went over & reported her and she apologised on her behalf – I never report anyone but I thought she deserved it.

The shop assistant was a young girl but that doesn’t give her the right to be blatantly rude to customers. I’m very aware I’ve been putting on weight recently and don’t need people like her making me feel insecure about it. I wonder how many other customers this girl has offended with her lack of tact?

Anyway she was right, you did need the bigger size!

That poor girl!! She was just doing her job!!

not a dig at your weight btw, just pointing out that the assistant was doing her job.

While I do agree with others that you may have been projecting your insecurities, I would also have been very annoyed if I repeatedly had to tell a shop assistant that I didn't want help. I would probably have put on my best mum voice and said "I told you I didn't want help. I meant it. Please leave me to shop in peace".

I go to the shops for peace and quiet and would not have liked her hanging around after I'd said "no" once.

You are projecting.

My eldest DD previously worked in retail from the age of 14 (Ethel Austin's), my friends DS has done the same and at 19 can look at anyone and tell them what size they will be and what style of jeans they should try and where to get them. He has worked his way up to work in Lipsy, he lives for fashion and clothes.

She was right and could of saved you time and effort. She was happy to run round after you. Stock is moved regularly this time of year, things are difficult to find, even if you were in the day before.

I find RI make clothes to fit all sizes and shapes and allow for hip bones. I have never had a bed experience in there, I have gone from their size 18 to a 14.

I hate the put down of "young girls" (they are women btw).

My middle DD (18) is often put down in her work, that she is excellent at and better than a lot of older workers. My eldest became a manager at 26 and has had similar ageism directed at her.

YAVBU to call her a cow, unless she pushed you out of the door in the direction of Bon Marche or Simply Be.

I can't believe posters are being so harsh OP. The shop assistant was fucking rude. If she'd made just one comment to you, then maybe fair enough but she didn't just make one comment. She badgered you.

I bet if you wernt given an offers of assistance at all you would have complained about that too.

I work in retail, your the sort of customer we all have to flip a coin to decide who has to serve them.

Well if you fail to see how you are to blame for anything then why are you even asking if YABU?

I think you know that you were projecting your own insecurities a bit. Yes, over-zealous shop assistants are annoying but they don't want to offer so much help any more than we want them to really. It's what they're told to do. Also, maybe she knew that certain clothes come up small? I'm a size 10 in some shops, 6 in others and 16 in some! Doesn't bother me, it's just a number.

". I would probably have put on my best mum voice and said "I told you I didn't want help. I meant it. Please leave me to shop in peace"."

And then done the Walk of Shame to get the correct size that she was trying to get for you.

Oh OP. The poor girl.

She is a sales person trying to sell! And she was correct about your size, you just didn't want to admit it.

I really hope her supervisor said to her 'Don't worry, you always get difficult customers now and again'

I have always found RI sizing small. It possible your size has been showing up small in that style and she was just trying to help. Maybe If you said you had come for something specific rather than ignoring me input, things would have been clearer.

When I buy clothes SA often mention 'oh you might want to take an X size in as well that style is coming up small/large. I'll go get it" This has happened when I was a size 14 and still happens now I'm a 10. Its just a SA knowing her stock.

I used to work in one of these shops.

You are trained to behave in a certain way with key service points expected.

You then get mystery shopped to see if you are meeting every one of these service points or not.

You get a bollocking/ warning every time you miss one.

1. You must ask everyone entering the store if they need any help within 60 seconds of entering. This is not only to actually offer help but because it also significantly lowers theft as shoplifters are deterred by feeling that there is an awareness of who has entered the store, rather than feeling it is unattended.

1. Approach the customer once they start picking items up- the point here is to upsell add ins- you are much more likely to buy something if you take it into the changing room than not, so try and get as much into the changing room as possible.

1. You must offer to bring alternative sizes to the changing room as you are showing them in, if what they have doesn't fit, they won't buy and you've lost the sale. If you can get the right size in there, they might buy, so let them know you will do this for them. If they are already undressed they are more likely to try another size than once they've got dressed again and left the changing room.

1. You must ask them afterwards if it was all OK, can you get them anything else, can you change the size of anything they tried- this is the shops last chance to get a correct product they might buy into the customer's hands or lose the sale forever.

There are others.

I used to refuse to offer the store card at every transaction (which was one of my key service points) as sometimes it was just very obvious they didn't want one eg. they were on holiday from Dubai, you'd asked them 2 minutes ago when they'd bought something else. I regularly got a bollocking for this on my mystery shopping feedback from the manager. In the end I was given a written warning so had to do it every time.

I then got someone complaining to the manager on the way out of the store about me giving them the hard sell for a credit card (I had followed the hated script to the letter) but I still got a bollocking from my manager for the customer complaint.

All this for 8 hours on your feet for minimum wage plus 50p an hour.

What made it OK was that some customers were very nice people. Others less so.

Also, if you work in retail you become very adept and knowing what size will fit very quickly, it was probably obvious to her you were trying on things that were too small and she didn't want you to waste your time.

Poor girl. You did need a bigger size, she offered to get it for you.. I fail to see a problem really.

You don't feel good about yourself so you seem to have gone out of your way to make a young girl feel crap about herself too.

I always get told that if I need help with other sizes they'll get them for me.

They're not insinuating anything when they tell me. They just want to save me the hassle of swapping them myself, or rather they want to make a sale and so getting another size that might fit rather than letting me leave empty handed is in their best interest.

Either way - its not a comment on my size. Is simply retail practice.

She was doing her job. You were projecting because you're self-conscious about some weight gain.

In each of her suggestions - 'this might suit you/just ask if you want another size' - she did her job. You seem to have translated that into 'hey, fatty, you'll never find anything in here to fit you'. You complained on the basis of that interpretation. She was doing her job well. You said you can't see why you're 'to blame': you let your self-consciousness get someone into trouble for doing her job. YABVU.

You clearly have no idea of the kinds of sales targets she has.

And I accept, those targets do indeed make shopping super-annoying. But super-annoying for everyone. She absolutely wasn't making comments based on your size, she was trying to make sure you didn't leave the shop without buying something (at worst) and lots more than you came in to buy (at best).

She was doing her job, they usually have to ask all these questions, they aren't being malicious

vikki, she was young, she was inexperienced and she was a bit over-keen.

However, turned out she was bang on the money about the sizing, and was perhaps not very busy and actively wanted to help you.

YABU, but i sympathise.

God I remember those days of Xmas temping in clothes stores, we actually didn't want to approach the customers and get involved but we got loads of pressure to do it! The poor girl was doing her job, and all fitting rooms I go into they tell me to let them know if I need other sizes so I hardly think it was something said exclusively to you because she thought you were fat! I think you are perhaps feeling a bit self conscious and looking too much into it.

Who wants to bet that if the OP was "left in peace" she would be claiming it was because RI didn't want her to wear their clothes?

Excellent post Armadale and exactly what I was getting at. It's not the fault of retail assistants fault that their job is so targeted and structured that it puts a lot of shoppers off!

I had this in RI, almost to the letter. It didn't bother me, they were doing their job, nothing more, believe me you are not important enough for this SA to be making it personal!!

YABU - the girl did nothing wrong, all the negative interpretations are yours!

So the sales assistant was doing her job, knew you were too big to fit into the clothes you were going to try on, and was younger than you.

You flew into a jealous rage, and 'reported' her.

The net result is likely to have been the entire staff rolling their eyes at the stoppy cow of a customer with issues, whatever the supervisor may have said to your face.

Just ask yourself if it is in fact at all likely that someoone who does not know you would make sport for herself by insulting you.

You are laying all kinds of motives and intentions on her that cannot possibly be true and don't stand up to any kind of logic. Are you okay