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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re.YR and evening Christmas play?

341 replies

MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 16:44

Dd is 4.10yo in YR. She is doing her school Christmas play this week: one tomorrow and one on Wednesday. There is also an evening performance tomorrow which parents have not been asked about. A letter was sent home today telling us to return our children to school at 6.

My dd has been quite tired in the evenings (end of term fatigue, I think). If I'd been asked, I wouldn't have given permission to do the evening slot.

WIBU if I didn't return her to school tomorrow evening if she's tired?

OP posts:
NoComet · 18/12/2013 12:32

In my experience DCs are far more adaptable than their parents!

MerryMarigold · 18/12/2013 12:47

I agree, but a 7pm show for a 4yo who is just finishing their first, and longest term, at school is TOO MUCH. Very silly idea. If people can't get one day off work, maybe even HALF a day, to watch their kids, I guess they can never take holidays and that's illegal.

MerryMarigold · 18/12/2013 12:54

Being at a party, or staying up late to watch X factor, or any of these kinds of things, are not the same as having to perform in front of an audience when you are possibly too tired to even have eaten your tea.

Wishihadabs · 18/12/2013 13:21

Merrymarigold most people get 22-25 days holiday a year. That has to cover the 2 weeks at Xmas, half terms and the long summer break. Not surprising that they can't use one of those precious leave days for a half hour performance so some cossetted reception child can be in bed by 7.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 18/12/2013 13:22

I'm Grin at being told to lighten up when I handling those obtuse statements directed to me last night. Another great way to be dismissive! I might try that one myself IRL.

I have 2 children: my 4yo and my 20mo dd2. I would react in exactly the same way if dd2 was the subject.

OP posts:
Wishihadabs · 18/12/2013 13:23

Especially as they may well have already paid for wraparound care that day.

NoComet · 18/12/2013 13:29

But OP you won't when DD2 is 4 she'll get dragged out to pick up big sister from here there and everywhere.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 18/12/2013 13:32

And a good job it was, Chronically, that you took yourself to bed when she did. You were sounding quite grumpy.

@ Wishi the 'some cosseted 4yo' comment sounded nasty. Was it supposed to?

OP posts:
Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 18/12/2013 13:33

*you did

OP posts:
Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 18/12/2013 13:34

Starbal, I cant answer for sure but if my dd2 needed to sleep, I can guarantee she would be in her bed.

OP posts:
Wishihadabs · 18/12/2013 13:35

Not always Starball one of my friends insisted on putting dc2 down for a nap for 2 blinking hours in the day. She has a 4 year gap so this poor 6 year old had 2 hours of enforced tv time everyday between 11-1. She also used to put her bed at 6:20 pm in June !! After which time we all had to be quiet, when quite frankly we would usually still be on the beach. Still horses for corses.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 18/12/2013 13:36

That sounded contradictory: I meant that I would do my utmost to have her in bed when she's tired, although I obviously cannot predict the future. It would be my best intention to do so.

OP posts:
Wishihadabs · 18/12/2013 13:41

I just object to being told an evening show is ridiculous and that working parents of 7 year olds need to take a day's leave to accomdate the perceived needs of the reception class. In our school the yr R children don't have speaking parts and some (mostly those with younger siblings don't make it back for the evening show). My dd is yr 2 and I honestly can't remember who came back and who didn't 2 years ago and whether they were principles this year.

kungfupannda · 18/12/2013 13:46

It's a bit of a shame to hear how much of an inconvenience those of us who work seem to be to some other parents.

A fair proportion of the population have to work. That's just how it is. Fortunately most schools seem to realise that those of us who do work still want to see our children in their play, and that our children still want us to come and watch.

Feminine · 18/12/2013 13:50

I agree Kungfu completely.

MerryMarigold · 18/12/2013 13:53

...and how much of an inconvenience your own children are that you can't take half a day off work to watch their play.

Feminine · 18/12/2013 13:55

merry

Are you suggesting that parents always have the choice?

I'm not sure what you mean?

CaterpillarCara · 18/12/2013 13:56

Merry - some parents do work in schools and other places where it is difficult to take half a day off.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 18/12/2013 13:59

I certainly do not feel working parents to be an inconvenience. Not under any circumstances.

My issue was what my dd was too tired to perform in the evening. I hope next year is different so that she shares the fun of the evening performance, as well as daytime.

OP posts:
kungfupannda · 18/12/2013 13:59

I chunter about our school thinking every household has a parent at home full time to deal with short notice requests for time consuming things, but at least they do their best to make sure that working parents get to enjoy the 'nice bits' the same as everyone else.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 18/12/2013 13:59

*that

OP posts:
CaterpillarCara · 18/12/2013 14:01

Molotov, I think you have had quite a rough ride on this thread. It is hard when you are new to having children in school. I hope that you will have learnt from it to speak up sooner where things are unclear or you are uncertain how your DD will cope with things. If you do that from now, then I am sure your partnership with the school will flourish.

kungfupannda · 18/12/2013 14:03

Very goady comment there.

I don't do a job where I can drop everything for a half day. I have to consider the needs of clients and the rest of my colleagues. And a child's nativity play would hardly be considered a trump card in terms of getting time off.

'terribly sorry, your honour.i know I was supposed to be representing this chap who may be going to prison for a long time' but I wanted to go and see my 4 year old dressed in some tinsel'

It's something I want to do, and I am grateful to the school for recognising this. But if I couldn't go because of work commitments, then I'd just have to deal with that. And be disappointed.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 18/12/2013 14:12

Thanks Caterpillar I appreciate and take on board your comments Smile

OP posts:
Wishihadabs · 18/12/2013 17:08

I was going to post something very similar. About learning to be part of a school and that one's just out of nursery 4yo isn't any more important to the school than the giant yr 6s and the needs of toddler siblings come nowhere in the school's hierarchy (and why should they ?)