To think it isn't the child's fault if they haven't got a nativity costume?

[Onelittlebugbear]

I volunteer in a school and was in year1 today. Out of the class three children did not have costumes. One had tried to make herself a sheep mask (badly) and was obviously really upset that no one had bought her a costume. The area is really deprived and I can easily believe that money would be too tight for some families to buy sheep / angel / star costumes.

The teachers went on at these children 'why haven't you got a costume? What are you going to do now? The play is this week, we need to practice in our costumes.' Two children said their parents had outright said they weren't providing costumes at which staff sighed. All the children were obviously upset and two started misbehaving. All this was said in front of their costume wearing peers.

Aibu to think that at 5 or 6 it isn't the child's fault they haven't a costume? I know it's a hassle for the teachers because they have to try and find something for them but it isn't the child's fault no matter how frustrating it is for staff.
It made my heart a bit sad.

"Having worked in schools there are four types of reasons kids do not come in with costumes."

what about "child whose parents both work FT long hours and literally do not have time to get a costume together (especially when school often gives only a couple of days notice or changes its mind about what is needed)"

this was me and will be my DC

or what about "child whose parents think it's a bloody waste of money for every child to spend £10 on a costume every year and it never to be reused"

this will be my DC

(no obviously I won't actually make them go without a costume but in all seriousness, one of my criteria for choosing a school is how much of this costume type crap parents are expected to do. I fully intend to help with homework and reading but it is no part of my job as a parent to buy/make a costume after a long day at work.)

This is horrible. My dgs primary school provides most costumes. They are cleaned and put away for next year. Little angels/stars had white tights and tee shirts with tinsel on their heads and the tiny boys were 'children in pyjamas'. The others all had school provided costumes.

Do you know what winds me up the most about this? When I was at school, and it wasn't that piggin' long ago, we had a storage cupboard FULL of costumes and props. It was literally stacked to the ceiling with things that people had donated, the school/pupils had made themselves, or the school had bought. Every year, school plays were designed around what was in the dress up cupboard and if they were ever missing anything, they quickly made what they needed. Parents were never asked to supply anything but a small donation towards tickets to come and watch.

My daughter was sent home with a letter this year asking for white tights, a white t-shirt and a pair of black gloves because she was a sheep in her nativity play. Fine. Or so you would think. Gloves were found - Poundland to the rescue. The plain white tights/t-shirt on the other hand, I could find nowhere! Every t-shirt had a print on it and every pair of tights had a pattern or another colour running through them. I eventually had to send her in with a cream polo neck top and a pair of cream cable tights. The teacher had the feckin' audacity to say, "Oh, they aren't white. All the other sheep are in white." I swear to God, I could have slapped her. I spent days panicking and running all over my small town looking for these two small, simple items and got nowhere. And then of course there was the added stress of thinking she'd be the only one not dressed up.

The school then had the cheek to ask us to pay for the tickets. Pay for what, I am still wondering. We bought/supplied the bloody costumes and props. Arf!

Can we go back to the 90's? It was a simpler time!

OP, I would make a quiet complaint to the head about what you saw. No child should be shown up that way. How awful. It's hardly their fault. Hardly the parents fault either, mind. Times and tough for a lot of people and it's the run up to Christmas. Not many have the spare ££'s to be throwing away on costumes for a school play.

My DC school provides the bulk of the costumes or has the DC make hats/ face masks.

The do ask some DC to bring in certain items - pj one year for one DC, black trousers, white tights, white t-shirt, red shirt - they do give about a week or two notice and if the DC don't have them they usually sort something.

My dd's school don't do traditional nativitys and this year parents had to find duck, cat, mice, reindeer outfits for their plays. I bought dd3 a reindeer fluffy onesie for 9 pounds as that was all they had left in tesco but it will do for wearing over pjs post play and dd2 wore an old dress as she was a narrator.

Really stupid, they only told us last week and they had the play today

That's horrible, the poor kids

Our school provide costumes for the tiny ones. The middle room might be asked to wear a particular colour but they make masks in school and nothing much is insisted on. This year ds1 is narrator and dd is a prompt so they can wear their own clothes.

The top room tend to need slightly more costumey stuff but it's still pretty relaxed tbh.

It's a school play fgs, not the west end!

Oh no. I can't stand the thought of the little girl who tried to make her own mask and it didn't work out.
Why the FUCK didn't the teachers help her? Bloody hell.

Mattissy The problem won't be lack of resources in school. The school could easily help make /buy the costumes. It's the attitude of the teachers that is the problem. They should bloody well help these children. Isn't it obvious to them that they are not getting the help at home?
Your offer is generous though :)

The OP and other stories are all so depressing. It's horrible to think of children being shamed and excluded for circumstances they cannot control.

Here is what we do in our house: next to the recycling is a big plastic tub from IKEA. All the cereal boxes, egg cartons, kitchen roll tubes etc. go in it rather than the recycling. When the dc are asked to bring in this sort if thing for DT, art, etc. we just bring in the whole lot and let the teacher know that there is enough to share. Our area is not deprived, it is working parents who normally get caught on the hop.

This year, we had to buy a nativity costume. Dd didn't want to play with it, so it stayed with the school. Any other dressing up clothes the dc outgrow go to the school/play-group depending on size. We do the same with children's books (not the precious personal ones of course.).

It's all a drop in the ocean, but if lots of us did this it might help some. Our school isn't well funded frankly.