To think it isn't the child's fault if they haven't got a nativity costume?

[Onelittlebugbear]

I volunteer in a school and was in year1 today. Out of the class three children did not have costumes. One had tried to make herself a sheep mask (badly) and was obviously really upset that no one had bought her a costume. The area is really deprived and I can easily believe that money would be too tight for some families to buy sheep / angel / star costumes.

The teachers went on at these children 'why haven't you got a costume? What are you going to do now? The play is this week, we need to practice in our costumes.' Two children said their parents had outright said they weren't providing costumes at which staff sighed. All the children were obviously upset and two started misbehaving. All this was said in front of their costume wearing peers.

Aibu to think that at 5 or 6 it isn't the child's fault they haven't a costume? I know it's a hassle for the teachers because they have to try and find something for them but it isn't the child's fault no matter how frustrating it is for staff.
It made my heart a bit sad.

Sadly Nigella is right, it is uninterested!
Slightly off topic.

I have got fairy wings, a wand, some tea towels, some gold card and some tinsel to take in. And a cuddly sheep for a shepherd to hold!

I looked it up - it is uninterested, even though most people use disinterested

OP you are lovely. Even just taking the time to suggest things the girl could make will mean so much to her.

Our school provide the costumes, although we did ask a few to provide plain t shirts as extra if possible. The staff are all stressed and run down and trying to cram a thousand things into the last few days of term, but there is a line you don't cross and unfortunately it has been crossed. Part of being a teacher is absorbing your own stress and not taking it out on small children.

God how awful. We were asked to provide some basic stuff - tea towel, white t-shirt, stuff most people would have. The school said ask if you had problems and I hope any child without things would have been sorted out tactfully. It's awful how they were treated

what is this 'buy the costume' thing going on anyway?
my childrens' junior schools never asked for more than a white tee shirt or black leggings or something like that.

although dress up day for history pissed me off big time, i had to spend nearly £40 to doll two of them up, and it was like some kind of expensive competition for parents.
possibly there are parents who do not wish to buy into all that crap, does that make them 'shit'?

This all reminds me DD2 was a very tiny shepherd in a dressing gown with rabbits round the bottom.

It's weird remembering her looking little and scared, when the in the Y6 play she was a very feisty, very bossy fairy (costume provided by school, I'm glad to say. By Y6 she'd grown out of her fairy dress).

What about parents with MH problems Molding?

Bit unfair to say they just don't give a shit.

oh no cranberry, not that they don't give one, they ARE shit, apparently.

I was not talking about mental health specifically, just your sweeping statement that
"Child has parents who do not give a shit whether their child is embarrassed or does without because they are shit parents or have addictions"
very eloquent and sums up nicely school staff attitudes to parents.

Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread as I'm so bloody angry at those horrid teachers, reading was making me too upset.

My dc's go to school in an affluent area and there's always plenty of costumes etc. I have lots in my cupboards. Would a school in a more deprived area think I'm being a massive twat if I gave them these costumes or would they appreciate them?

So sad to read about the little girl with the sheep mask, OP

I hope you do manage to talk to the head teacher about the response from the class teachers

DS1's school is one of those which expects parents to make/provide all costumes, however it is in a leafy suburban area so there is some competitive costume-making going on and he is only in Y1!

They are also told to wear costumes for world book day, Hallowe'en and a couple of others, including class assembly when DS1 had to dress up as his favourite zoo animal (a bat...at least he didn't say a giraffe or a leopard...) it is a bit much, but so far I have managed to send him in for everything dressed as either a bat or a skeleton and he was an old-school shepherd with a teatowel on his head in the YR nativity

YANBU.
It's really sad to hear your story.
Poor little ones.

Our school has spares. Dd2 took a liking to one and told her teachers we couldn't afford a costume, so she would have to wear the gold one with the scarf The truth -> I'd lost my bank card and was waiting on a replacement to order her costume, which is why it was a few days late (for when it had to be in, it would have arrived in time for the actual nativity/dress rehearsal.

The teachers let her wear the spare one. They told me people sometimes donate their child's costumes for other children to use next year who might not have a costume, so I'm going to go through all our old x-mas dress up stuff and drag out all the barn animals, angels etc that no longer fit dd2 to hand in.

why oh WHY do schools still expect parents to provide bloody costumes? at best it's a total pain for parents who are already incredibly busy and may be financially stretched, at worst it humiliates those DC whose parents aren't able (for whatever reason) to get a costume together. I actually cried at that poor little girl and her sheep mask.

Sorry have not rtft but that is really upsetting to read op. I am so sad for those children. How are they meant to magic up a costume just like that? We have ALL of our nativity costumes already, kept in lovely condition to be used each year. If we have any other parts that need to be played we sometimes ask the parents if they can just provide a plain top and bottoms (even a t shirt turned inside out) and we do the rest with a hat/mask/face paint. I think it is really dreadful that parents/kids are put under this pressure, poor things.

Depressing. I thought the world had moved on from 1981 when a teacher made me sit and do extra maths because I hadn't brought in a yogurt pot with a stem on it to make a Xmas flower arrangement. She had been asking for weeks and every week I was anxious because I had asked my mum and she said it was too expensive. I remember dreading the craft session day arriving and being told off by the teacher for not having it having been already told off by my mum for begging get to buy the bloody thing. Children should not have to play piggy in the middle.