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Original poster

Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

536 replies

HankyScore · 16/12/2013 10:18

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

OP posts:
Joysmum · 16/12/2013 10:58

Mums who are entirely 100% happy to either be working, or a SAHM. In my experience, those of us who are SAHMs feel we are missing out and those who have to work because of finances feel they are missing out too. Nobody I know has ever been 100% happy with their lot 100% of the time.

BigChocolateOrange · 16/12/2013 10:59

Oh, and people who think of a nickname for their unborn child BEFORE they pick an actual name. Surely you pick a name you love, and a nickname is an organic thing? If you like the bloody nickname that much just call your kid that.

HanneHolm · 16/12/2013 10:59

oh the germ phobes
( see loo threads) and people who wont shit when away from their own houses .

Oh and those who wont answer the door or phone then wonder why they dont have mates.

kennyp · 16/12/2013 10:59

i am lolling at this!!! love it!!!
when i'm drinking wine when the kids are in the house the last thing me or my friends are thinking about is an A&E related need!??!?!!?

HanneHolm · 16/12/2013 11:01

and people who have to ask other people what to buy at fricking aldi

BohemianGirl · 16/12/2013 11:01

Heres one - people who get terrified that their children are going to be somehow abused by a paedo simple because Nanna has put up a picture.

Quite probably the same people who now keep slapping up pictures of their offspring on MN.

Ah yes, not rocket science is it?

Gullygirl · 16/12/2013 11:01

You are not allowed to say that a child is ever just naughty/violent/disruptive.You MUST consider that they could have SNs.
Elf on The Shelf? WTF.
I have never heard of a Christmas Eve Hamper in RL.
In laws are usually toxic.

Noe LTB.

ConfusedDotty · 16/12/2013 11:02

I have seen actual mothers out and about with buggies and all kinds without thier DPs/DHs, unlike Mother's on MN who slag off partners for leaving them to do the shopping alone while they are slope off to work/golf weekends.

Never ever seen anyone arguing near a parent and child parking space.

Never had a nasty comment/letter from the school regarding the contents of a packed lunch.

BananaNotPeelingWell · 16/12/2013 11:02

Exactly Hanne. Ditto nicknames. 'I want to call my baby Pubert. Now what nickname shall we have?' It'll evolve or not of it own accord. You cant control everything.

MylesKennedysVocalCords · 16/12/2013 11:02

re school choice agony- I made sure mine didn't go to the local school as it is shit. Id rather walk 20 mins for them to go to an outstanding school rather than just send them over the road because its near. loads of people i know at their school did the same. but that's my choice, I know it may be looked upon as snobbery

Dwerf · 16/12/2013 11:02

I don't drive. I had several lessons and decided for the greater good of mankind and my sanity that I was never going to be a driver. You're welcome.

Also the undiagnosed thing. I have SAD (or at least many of the symptoms). It's undiagnosed. Or rather, I told the doctor I suspected I had it, they went "mhhmmm, here's a pamplet". Helpful. I treat myself as if I do have it, I feel better when I follow the suggested treatments ( a light box, exercise etc). I doubt there's more a doctor could do except prescribe pills.

My dd is a class rep Grin

HanneHolm · 16/12/2013 11:02

thank god i have blocked that whole topic

Gullygirl · 16/12/2013 11:02

Now LTB.

For all those grammatical pedants out there.

HanneHolm · 16/12/2013 11:03

christmas eve hamper - what fresh hell is that?

Trills · 16/12/2013 11:03

That's why MN is amazing - you get to see things that:

Are different to how your friends/family/village do things
Are things that people think but wouldn't say out loud

BananaNotPeelingWell · 16/12/2013 11:04

Sorry BigChocOrange cross posted with you there re nicknames. Great minds and all that...Grin

Trills · 16/12/2013 11:04

I assume that you are saying "MN is amazing because I see all of this greater variety of human life" rather than "I don't think these things exist and so everyone who posts about them is lying".

gordyslovesheep · 16/12/2013 11:04

parents who never ever ever say anything negative ever - especially on FB

Parents who are never publicly proud of their kids

Peedows everywhere

school yard cliques (never ever encountered this in 8 years)

Penis beakers

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/12/2013 11:04

Oh can I add:

People who take offence at everything so easily.

People so paranoid that every joke or every innocent comment is somehow all about them and making them feel bad about a choice they made even though the people coukdvt give a crap.

People who get upset that a coeliac/vegan/halal eating person brings their own lunch because they really don't want to put people out and want to enjoy the meal.

These workman/ delivery Men that shit all over floors.

Delivery men who hurl stuff over fences.

People who care what time the take away is ordered or how near it is and how "lazy" the caller was being

:o

BananaNotPeelingWell · 16/12/2013 11:05

School gate bust ups with other mums. Never seen it.

DontmindifIdo · 16/12/2013 11:06

oh yes, the people who make their DH ask them permission to go out to play with the other boys to have a drink with their friends.

The others who think getting drunk less than 5 times a year is a sign that he's got a drink problem and she should leave him.

Oh and the mummy martyrs who think spending any money on yourself is immoral now you're a mother. (see the thread I started asking for handbag suggestions around the £800 mark with some money I'd been left by a relative who was a bit of an accessory queen herself, and was told to buy a bench instead, because somehow that would be more morally acceptable, or art work, in fact, spending hte money was fine, so long as I didn't spend it on something that was just for my use, it had only to be spent on something for collective use to be acceptable.)

DreamingofSummer · 16/12/2013 11:06

Angst about workmen using your toilet, or about not using the toilet when there are workmen in the house.

MylesKennedysVocalCords · 16/12/2013 11:06

don't get the nickname angst at all! dds names is always being vetoed on baby names as it can't be shortened- so fucking what?!

Freddiefrog · 16/12/2013 11:07

Agree with the nicknames too. A friend of mine decided on the name and nickname when she was pregnant.

Mine have nicknames but they've evolved over time - i.e, eldest is known as Doll by everyone which came from Dolly Day Dreamer. It just happened over the years, based on one of her traits, I always thought that's how nicknames were supposed to work

limitedperiodonly · 16/12/2013 11:07

Children who are impeccably behaved and make chit chat about world events in restaurants because 'we put the hours in'.

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