Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

[HankyScore]

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

[sebsmummy1]

I relatively new on here and am surprised at the frequency fairly tame thread starts turn into a kerfuffle.


Only on MN;

The inability to have a rant about rude parents/children without someone getting very upset that the parent or child could have a yet undiagnosed borderline personality disorder or similar. Some children and/or parents are just rude and badly behaved, I see it all the time!! And I only go out twice a week

That if you have an opinion that is different to the majority you are being 'entitled' and 'judgey'. Then you need to be shouted at for 15 pages until everyone realises the OP has fucked the fuck off and they are just squabbling amongst themselves.

I am a SAHM by the way. We do exist however as someone said above, I feel I should be working so am going to look for weekend work never happy

[MummyPigsFatTummy]

Absolutely to SAHM/WOHM debate and BF/FF - neither are issues I have ever encountered in RL.

However, where I live in South London, the school debate is a massive issue - mainly because there is very little actual choice as distance bands are so miniscule for most of the good ones.

DH has had lots of child parking rage incidents so that one I do recognise.

Elf on a shelf too - most people in RL have never heard of them except one American friend. Personally, I find the whole thing creepy. DD has an elf (from Tiger, not a special one) but it stays firmly on the mantelpiece unless she moves it.

[friday16]

Doula - WTF is one of those?

It means "I think the NCT is terribly common these days, don't you?"

[Gileswithachainsaw]

calamitously

There was an entertaining AiBU where someone ordered a take away from a shop mere metes from their house and it had taken forever to arrive.

One poster then asked "why did you order so early?"

Needless to say some felt expecting your local take away to deliver in less than three hours and not walking up to get it was very U :o

[Absy]

And on the other end of the scale, people who wash towels every day. Why? WHY?

I do worry that either I'm hugely fastidiously clean, or a complete slacker.

[sebsmummy1]

I had a doula lol. I was booked for a home birth until week 39 when my Mother informed me I couldn't have a home birth as a 'spiritual friend' had told her I would die or something. So all change, gave birth in my local hospital, doula made the last hour as she was racing back from a Yoga symposium and was stuck on the motorway.

Yup, you couldn't make it up

[BohemianGirl]

Chrisatmas stockings - why why why why why does it matter if MIL bought one and filled it up too?

Why why why can't other people buy your child presents?

never have I encountered this in the real world

[CalamitouslyWrong]

Dadonice: I had the same experience growing up; everyone's mum worked. My grandmothers both worked. I don't think any woman in my family has ever been a SAHM. If they weren't in work, they were looking for it. The whole, 'it's a new thing that women go out to work' argument always confuses me. Maybe it's the case in the leafy shires of middle England, but certainly not where I grew up.

[feelingdizzy]

Oh so many, people who don't let anyone near their new-born for weeks . I am from the west of Ireland you need to prepare for 20 plus visitors a day.
The involvement in the tiny detail of their kids lives, and then pretending to be enthralled by it all. I am 39 my children are 10 and 11 not surprisingly we like different things.

The whole LTB thing, I was married to a bastard, it is obvious you don't need to go looking for it.

The whole feed the family of four on lentils and chicken and things you have in your stock cupboard. Seriously have you ever really been poor, you don't have a bloody back up plan. You are poor therefore you have no money.

Without getting to heavy the SN thing pisses me off, I have 2 brothers with SN and also teach children with SN. I find this whole thing about how different they are ,how they need to be handled differently, a subtle way off alienating people who might need a bit of support . Also you can have a very difficult child with no SN and wait for it people with SN can also be dickheads, they do have their own personalities, some nice some not.

[caketinrosie]

Thank god, I thought it was just me. I've been in a state of total confusion thinking I was shit mum misguided due to my clear alcoholism Btl of wine a week because I have no idea what the elf thing is. I also know exactly what to buy at aldi on the weekly big shop, and I would love to buy an £800.00 quid handbag but I'm skint even if it meant the dc's had to go without. do have proper SN dc's though two of the buggers (ASD) greedy me

[OpalTourmaline]

In real life plenty of people go back to work after having a baby because they need the money, or because they don't want to harm their career, or because being a SAHM wouldn't suit them, but only on MN have I ever heard anyone say that it is important that they demonstrate a good work ethic to their 6 month old baby. Yes I have actually seen that on MN. A 6 month old baby does not care about their mum demonstrating a good work ethic! Maybe when they reach school age this becomes more relevant.

[Steben]

Yes to toilet brush hysteria, (see also fanatical weekly bed changing). Trying hard - and failing - not to laugh loudly at "wanky xmas elves" as am at work.

[MylesKennedysVocalCords]

That if you have an opinion that is different to the majority you are being 'entitled' and 'judgey'

precisely the reason I never post on anything political. I know my views differ from the majority on here, can't be bothered to argue my viewpoints because they get shouted down instantly. Waste of time.

[friday16]

That if you have an opinion that is different to the majority you are being 'entitled' and 'judgey'

Or trolling.

[monicalewinski]

People who over think/analyse every little nuance in family life.

Sometimes, my husband is a fucking penis - I tell him this, sometimes I am - he tells me this; sometimes he makes me actual lol, sometimes he is a lazy pain in the arse, sometimes my kids piss me right off, sometimes I just want to fuck off on my own for the day and sit in costa with my book instead of watch frigging rugby/football/whatever, sometimes I want to be around them and spread my joy.

On occasion both of us have come home so pissed we couldn't stand, my husband holds my hair back whilst I puke/I get the sick bucket for him and put him to sleep on the sofa.

This, to me, is normal - I am not an apologist/handmaiden/doormat etc, I am not uncaring/shouldn't have had kids if they get on my nerves at times.

You do not always have to LTB.

[limitedperiodonly]

WHERE IS THE OP????? Is she a journo?

[KellyEllyMincePieBelly]

A group of people commonly referred to as royalty who are not even a distant second cousin once removed of any royal family

[BohemianGirl]

Female Body Hair. I can unequivocally tell you I have no idea whether any of my mates shave their minge. Or not. As the case may be.

If I shaved it it would not look a 13yo prepubescent minge. It would like a 50yo bald minge.

Ditto if I grew it, it would be because I was lazy, not a radical feminist.

[monicalewinski]

Composhat

"Red fucking flags. Never heard anyone use it in the real world, unless they are enthusiastic communists or experts in semaphore."

I have just laughed so hard at that, I think I may have actually expelled an ovary.

[VoodooChimp]

People who only spend £5 on their children's christmas presents.

People who call the police if they see a child asleep in a car outside someone's house.

People who think that anyone slightly different from themselves is "on the spectrum" or has some sort of undiagnosed personality disorder.

[ProfondoRosso]

All the lavvy brush business
People using the word 'common'
The idea that Hebe or Hecate are sensible names for babies

[AmberLeaf]

People who are vehemently opinionated about children with SNs.

I'd love to meet some of the ignorant twats whose posts I read on here.

A face to face 'schooling' would be much more satisfying.

Women that don't want their MILs to visit when their babies are born, but are fine with their own mums being there

women who schedule their DH lone childcare duties the morning after he has had a night out. presumably this is some sort of punishment or deterrent?

[MylesKennedysVocalCords]

Ahhh see the loo brush thing, I'm one of those weirdos who thinks owning a brush full of shit flakes is disgusting

[sebsmummy1]

I think the 'red flag' euphemism comes from those bastard house selling programs where every bit of wall or floor stainage is a red flag to purchasers.

If I hear it I always expect Phil, he of the expensive range of pastel shirts, to be around a corner not helping to sell a house for someone.

[oscarwilde]

The endless navel gazing and analysis about people's relationships when someone posts a rant about how much of a PITA their partner has been that day

The speculation and amateur diagnoses about people "being on the spectrum" / SN thing also does my head in. As soon as anyone posts a comment about somebody rude or badly behaved, the apologists jump in to explain it all away. I personally find this hysterical as my MIL does it about my BIL to explain away the fact that he is just a rude cock most of the time. Since word got out that she's telling people he has Asbergers, it has improved his behaviour immensely.