Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

[HankyScore]

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

[Latara]

I have had men walk up to me and say ''smile'' or ''cheer up love'' (maybe I just looked dead miserable?);

I don't drive (epilepsy);

I have friends with a toxic SIL (but they don't say toxic, just call her a PITA)

I get the rage if my own cat shits in the garden and doesn't use her tray.

[pianodoodle]

Not working. I don't know any SAHMs. We all fucking have to work

I know plenty of SAHM'S it isn't a mnet phenomenon

I know plenty who work f/t and p/t too.

The main difference between mnet and RL is that in RL no one seems to give a fuck how or why another parent is staying at home or working or whatever.

We just seem to be able to get on with keeping our own affairs in order

[friday16]

People who think that boarding school is a preferable alternative to a 12 year old spending an hour at home between 4.30pm and 5.30pm five days a week.

[KellyEllyMincePieBelly]

The constant referral to anyone who doesn't live by your rules and standards as 'entitled'. The expectation that no-one, including close relations, should ever offer babysitting services, buy a present for your child, want to see your child or attend a birthday party for the said child unless they live within a 1 mile radius

[BohemianGirl]

I have seen a school gate fisticuffs - hilarious

I've also seen school gate dad get out a quart of whiskey and swig from the bottle

Baby ballet? WTF is that?

People who dont see that a perfectly normal average family with no 'ishoos' can produce a devil child, who doesnt have some form of SN.

SN - the most over used acronym on the planet. Everyone is special and everyone has needs. Thats that one nailed too.

[meddie]

New mums not allowing visitors for weeks after the birth. Were I come from if someone has a baby its normal for the family to pile into the hospital that night to meet the new arrival. Give presents
Take pics etc etc. No one would even consider banning grandparents it would be unthinkable

[monicalewinski]

All of the above - especially these people with endless patience who never get cross or lose their temper. This sort of saint is actually the type that pushes my buttons in real life and make me rage.

Am off to think of more....

[hyenafunk]

I don't answer door or phone unless I know who it is- generalised anxiety disorder and both are major panic triggers.
I don't drive, do elf on the shelf and Christmas Eve hampers.
Never shit in public.
Have a toxic dad and FIL.
Don't like GP posting pics of my DC on FB because I'm a super private person and even U don't post their pics online. Not a paedo issue, I just don't want them splattered all over internet without having a choice in it.
Have been told to cheer up my whole life.

So yeah, I fit a lot of these "only on MN things"

[Slimchance]

Arf at baby Pubert that's hiliarious Banana!

People who have perfectly planned meals every night of the week which always include meat or fish, complicated sauces and at least two veg, and who never seem to eat leftovers or baked beans on toast, ever.

[Didn't have wedding list ourselves- we were older - already had most household things - held wedding in remote countryside (which cost a fortune to travel to) so seemed a bit cheeky]

[Freddiefrog]

We've had schoolgate fisticuffs too. Lots of finger pointing and head waggling followed by slapping and hair pulling.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

I've never seen anything about takeaway etiquette on MN. What difference does the time of ordering make?

[MylesKennedysVocalCords]

the attitude that you shouldn't financially assist your children past the age of 18. seen this on here before, poster in dire straits, upset that parents won't give them a loan and have been told 'YOU'RE ENTITLED! HOW DARE YOU ASK THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD FOR HELP? STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET!!!!1!1'

thank god my parents don't stop seeing me and dBro as their children because we're legally adults! When mine grow up I'll be exactly the same, help them if they need it?

[Gileswithachainsaw]

People who think drs should prescribe everything even though it can be bought OTC for a couple of quid.

People who worry about perfectly safe happy children in perfectly normal day to day situations , just because they aren't screaming to be picked up and bf abs can entertain themselves.

People who fancy justin fletcher.

People who think a glass of wine with dinner is setting kids up for drink problems.

People who care what name children use to call body parts.

People who hate pets so much.

:o

[BohemianGirl]

Not working. I don't know any SAHMs. We all fucking have to work

Ah well you see, SAHM if your DH can support your lifestyle without tax credits etc - otherwise you are just unemployed.

I agree, we all have to work.

[BananaNotPeelingWell]

The whole baby names topic confuses me. 'If I like Susan, Chole and Alice, what other names might I like?'...'Amanda'. And they are connected how exactly? Its like Mornington Crescent but with names.

[BigFatGoalie]

PENIS BEAKERS!!!!

[limitedperiodonly]

It starts before 18 myleskennedy.

Because if you give your children more than a satsuma for Christmas and let them watch telly after school instead of bringing the coal in they'll end up: 'HORRIBLY ENTITLED ADULTS WHO CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD BY THEMSELVES.'

[ComposHat]

Red fucking flags. Never heard anyone use it in the real world, unless they are enthusiastic communists or experts in semaphore.

'That's a red flag for me.' I can't help but think, 'yeah and I know where I'd like to shove that red flag.'


It seems to be a ridiculously poncy way of saying, 'that's a bit worrying.'

[BohemianGirl]

Doula - WTF is one of those? I know no one who has had one of these, desired one, been offered one or would even know what one is.

Cleaners - tha trauma over what to give the hired help for Christmas. I tell ya now, she wont speak english, has been nipping your sherry, and wont be paying tax and NI >taps nose< its a cash-in-hand industry

Au pair - of course, the entire MN world has a spare bedroom and car for some flibberty gibbet to waft in and out with the pretense of learning English.

[vickibee]

LTB seems to come up a lot even for minor irritations, if only it was that simple.?

[DadOnIce]

My mum worked, as did most of my friends' mums (at least part-time). I just assumed, growing up in the 80s/90s, that the whole "work" thing was done and dusted now - that everyone wanted or needed to work, unless they were super-rich. Women I was at university with all wanted to get jobs. Nobody was talking about giving up at 26 to have children.

So it was an incredible eye-opener when the children started school just how many SAHMs there were. I literally did not know there were so many.

[MylesKennedysVocalCords]

Haha v.true limited the Christmas presents threads on here make me die. my dc aren't going to suddenly turn into brats because they get lots at Christmas!

i just can't understand that attitude, my parents will d. anything to help me out, not because I'm entitled and I expect it, but because I'm their daughter, they love me and they don't want us to struggle if we don't have to. Don't get what's so wrong with that?!

[vickibee]

Dad on ice, I agree with you. I rush after to drop off to get to work on time and all the Mums are having a chat in the playground and generally loitering with no place to go? Only jealous.....

[Absy]

People who only shower like once a week. It seems very common on MN. It's not as common (as far as i'm aware) with people I encounter in everyday life. Or people in lieu of showering go and do a strip wash. How is that easier? It's such a hassle.