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Original poster

Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

536 replies

HankyScore · 16/12/2013 10:18

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

OP posts:
lljkk · 19/12/2013 17:34

People who coast thru school (or any other activity) until adolescence getting very highest marks with minimal effort, which somehow causes them to struggle to ever learn to work hard. Seems to very common among MNers.

I've never known anyone who was consistently tops for anything without lots of obvious hard work.

babybarrister · 19/12/2013 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProfondoRosso · 19/12/2013 17:58

People who coast thru school (or any other activity) until adolescence getting very highest marks with minimal effort, which somehow causes them to struggle to ever learn to work hard. Seems to very common among MNers.

lljkk, I'm afraid to say that describes me and DH. Neither of us studied much for exams, but never got anything less than As. Blush DH even got skipped a year. Not to be smug, but I think some children are just like that. I don't think it stays with many people into adulthood, though. It certainly didn't with either of us.

I wish I still found things so easy! It's true that you get knocked for six when you suddenly come across something you can't do.

monicalewinski · 19/12/2013 18:04

babybarrister, I read up on it on Style & Beauty earlier (after first learning of its existence today!) and have ordered the bodyshop shampoo that was recommended to counteract my silicone build up.

I have straight hair, but am in fear that it is actually just plastic, so am jumping right on the hair detox bandwagon. It was the maintenance wash bandwagon last week, I love a bandwagon

peanutbutterandbanana · 20/12/2013 00:13

Great thread! I've read every post this evening and have done NONE of the clearing up that I need to do before I go to work tomorrow :(

I've worked FT, PT and been a SAHM and now PT again. SAHM was the best I think, although perhaps PT with less hours (I do around 18 hours per week) would be even better as I just don't ever seem to be on top of stuff. But then again I do like having an office Christmas lunch to go to.....

Toilet brushes are DISGUSTING and I use other methods that involve Parazone toilet wipes, harpic anti limescale tablets and lots of squirts of bleach. So we toilet-brush haters are for real!

I have seen lots of helicopter parenting in senior school, with certain mums being unable to stop being involved in organising their child's social life - very tiresome.

Have just googled 'mooncup' - that things looks amazing and a bit 'I don't shave my underarms', but might get one for my teen daughter (as I had my bits whipped out a couple of years ago).

We have class reps at my d's primary school and we've all been asked this week if we want to sign a card to the teacher and put a fiver in the envelope - totally voluntary. So that is RL, not just on MN!

And who, in RL, cooks a 4-course Christmas lunch?

On MN I have sometimes been shocked at the unpleasantness of some posters. I wonder if they are as vocal in RL? I then wonder how kind they are raising their DCs to be.......

ComposHat · 20/12/2013 00:49

I'm always amused that people think they will inadvertently give away their real life identities by revealing an utterly nondescript piece of information.

'I work in a shop in London, hope I haven't outed myself there.'

Lweji · 20/12/2013 02:10

I've never known anyone who was consistently tops for anything without lots of obvious hard work.

Ahem...

Scarletohello · 20/12/2013 02:33

This is why silicone can be bad for your hair...

www.splashofcolordashofspice.com/2012/06/why-you-should-avoid-silicones-in-your.html?m=1

Shenanagins · 20/12/2013 09:00

Silicone build up is so last century, I'm onto sulphate free -no idea why though Grin

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 20/12/2013 10:28

Shenanagins - sulphate free, silicone free, these are a good beginning. I take it you also go completely natural, using products made only from the tears of joy of Tibetan goats, 'pearl extract' that smells of babies necks? (I love beauty journalism).

(sulphates are used in things like washing up liquid to make them froth for more bubbles, so they put them into shampoo etc because as consumers apparently we want bubbles, but they can affect appearance. Yes, I know too much about this stuff).

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 20/12/2013 10:30

Only on MN have I seen anyone care about what other people choose as middle names for their children. Which does make me giggle.

Shenanagins · 20/12/2013 18:26

boyfromthebigbadcity only if some clever marketing person says that the goat tears will give me eternal youth, or something!

BigChocolateOrange · 20/12/2013 18:49

Compos that just made me snort. SO true!

EachAndEveryHighway · 20/12/2013 19:58

This is a hilarious thread. Agree with a lot, only thing I can think to add is that I've never heard the expression 'suck it up' apart from on Mumsnet. And don't know anyone in real life with polished concrete hearths.

woollytights · 20/12/2013 21:20

Teaching toddlers to call their genitalia their penis/vagina. Or better yet, vulva.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 21/12/2013 11:09

Someone posts that their parent's will states that they are being left a fiver while their brother gets 600k.

Replies are 'stop being so grabby'
'My parents are dead, just enjoy your parents while they are alive'

BohemianGirl · 21/12/2013 11:21

And who, in RL, cooks a 4-course Christmas lunch?

Er me ? Blush well if you count trifle, cheese and biscuits as 'cooking' but lunch here is just endless..... we break for an hour or two then go back for the next course!

Crowler · 21/12/2013 13:20

Teaching toddlers to call their genitalia their penis/vagina. Or better yet, vulva..

Yes. Guilty of having an 11 year old who calls his "willy" a "pee-pee".

I work in a shop in London, hope I haven't outed myself there.

LOL.

Chocolatestain · 22/12/2013 08:35

The vehemence of the whole BF/FF debate - never encountered that in real life. I actually find it quite distasteful given that we live in a society where all babies (except for very unusual cases of neglect) are adequately fed. If some people have an excess of self-righteous fervour around the whole feeding thing perhaps they could direct it towards fundraising for the millions of babies around the world suffering from malnutrition? Just a thought.

Also the degree to which some people over analyse and micro manage their child's every move. I was brought up in the '70s. People didn't have parenting styles, they just had kids. And it was considered perfectly acceptable to leave your children in the car outside the pub with a bottle of pop and a packet of crisps (although we were allowed into the pub garden to drink shandy Grin).

I do use a mooncup though. Tampons always seem to leak on me. Must have a funny-shaped fanjo. Now there's a word I've ever come across on MN!

OpalTourmaline · 22/12/2013 09:47

OP: "I'm really struggling at the moment. My husband left me for his secretary, my baby has terrible colic and cries all day. He wakes every 45 minutes throughout the night. I have pnd and I'm just exhausted"

Reply: "Just enjoy your baby. They are this age for such a short time. Savour every moment while you have the chance."

HappyMummyOfOne · 22/12/2013 10:04

Loving this thread, thing that always amaze me on MN are

Being scared of a toilet brush
Awful names for children
SAHMs having cleaners rather than just cleaning themselves or believing their husband should do it after work
Mooncups
How easily people are told to leave their husband for trivial things
Hatred of MILs
Outrage should a partner want a night out, hobby etc
The five million buggies for one child
Screen time
Food that dares not be orgnanic or has sugar in it
Calling children NT
SAHMs being told to bill their partner for childcare and housework despite it being just want parents and adults do

And recently Christmas. Am staggered at the number of threads where a child will only have one or two presents as anything else is spoiling them. Even worse, they have to pay half towards the present themselves! Not really a present then.

cloggal · 22/12/2013 10:23

chocolate stain

The vehemence of the whole BF/FF debate - never encountered that in real life. I actually find it quite distasteful given that we live in a society where all babies (except for very unusual cases of neglect) are adequately fed. If some people have an excess of self-righteous fervour around the whole feeding thing perhaps they could direct it towards fundraising for the millions of babies around the world suffering from malnutrition? Just a thought.

Oh my goodness. THIS. I said almost exactly this to a friend only a couple of days ago. Ditto traditional weaning/blw, SAHM/WOHM, ad nauseum.

peanutbutterandbanana · 22/12/2013 12:18

Bohemian Girl - I'm round to yours then Grin

friday16 · 22/12/2013 12:24

Suggesting that if someone cooks a stew for Christmas lunch and gets the portion sizes wrong, it may mean that they have mental health issues.

Whistleblower0 · 22/12/2013 14:31

I'd forgotten about calling children NT. Only ever heard this on mumsnet.

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