To feel like I live in a completely different world to most mumsnetters?

[FloozeyLoozey]

No one I know can afford to be SAHM. Wages over 20k are seen as damned good, not disparaged. Anything over 30k makes you well off. I don't even know where Lancashire's private schools are, or anyone who hires a tutor. Nannies are another urban myth that don't exist around here, it's all after school clubs and nurseries. I feel completely alienated from this place at times. Am I just a common northerners out of place on mn who should migrate to netmums, because the shockingly snobby attitudes at times tell me I should.

I did try no before mn

But it was a bit too nice

Nm not no

The lentils are worse than the magic chicken.

I love this site!
I'm a northerner, we live pretty much on the Pennine Way actually, I know people who have cleaners and work as cleaners, my DC's have friends who go to the private boarding school 2 miles away from us, my old next door neighbour works as a tutor, I work from home and DH earns over 20k. We live on a mixed HA and private estate. I even occasionally shop at Waitrose (mostly Lidl and Aldi though ).
5 miles down the road from me in one direction is an area that is listed in the most deprived areas of England, 3 miles in the other direction is a massively affluent area mostly inhabited by business people with a couple of millionaires thrown in the mix.
OP your post is one huge stereotype, just because we live in the North of the country doesn't mean that we're all in the same situation, just like everywhere else everybody is different.
And I'm damn tempted to get a cleaner...

Ahem, I meant that I know people who have cleaners and I know other people who work as cleaners.
Must proof read posts

Yabsolutelybu not to want to hang out with people who are not exactly the same as you and the people you know....

List of private schools in Lancashire btw:
www.schoolsnet.com/uk-schools/best-independent-private-school/top-lancashire-schools/16180339/0/-3/8/99.html

Erm, I've seen plenty of posters on pretty low/average wages on Mumsnet. Are you one of these people that just looks to be different, despite all evidence to the contrary?

I'm a Northerner and all those things exist here. I don't come into contact with them but of course private schools and nannies are a thing. Less of the 'common Northerner', we get enough of that from Southerners without starting to turn on ourselves.

SAHMism isn't rare. On a lot of 20kish salaries and lower, it would cost far more to put the kid in childcare that you'd ever bring home.

I have a nanny, the only food shop in the town I live in is Waitrose, I apparently earn a huge wage.

I do all this just to fuck the OP off I won't mention growing up in London in a council house, in a single parent family. Or how the lack of after school childcare here fucks me off, or how my nanny is cheaper than putting the Dc's in nursery and a childminder

That's weird, I've known lots of people who ended up being SAHPs precisely because they couldn't afford to work, being a SAHP worked out cheaper (even Xenia says that would have been true for her for a long while, too).

I think the "tutor" thing is mostly kids in GCSE risk zones or to get into grammar schools, so you have to have teenagers or be in a G-school county to encounter it.

IRL I know loads of people who take their kids out with active chickenpox without a 2nd thought, who don't blink at baby pierced ears, who freely admit to rarely fully bathing or washing their hair, whose toilet brush habits are of no interest to anyone, who choose the local school because it's local regardless of results, etc.

We've had a cleaner on/off and I feel decidedly bizarre for it.

There is very little that annoys me about MN but the stereotyping is one that does. And it is usually from northerners. There is a disparity between North and south (I'm talking about England because that's where I live ) but it does occasionally get all DM about it and assume that half of the country is all 'dark satanic mills' as apposed to the 'green and pleasant land' that is supposedly south of Birmingham..

I earn £16k and not sure I can afford to work when this baby is born as nursery, afterschool club and travel will cost me more!

If you have 2 DC under 3 and earn an average salary you can't afford NOT to be a SAHM. Due to childcare costs. Unless you work from home as a private tutor and employ grandmother for free childcare! This is what I do.

You've just described where I live.

But I think that there are all sorts of people from all walks of life here on MN.

I've been a single mum relying almost completely on benefits and I've been a SAHM through choice living in a ver naice apartment and could afford a cleaner etc and now I'm a SAHM because we can't afford for me to work because I couldn't earn enough to justify it and are middle of the road comfortable. I've lived in pretty much everything from an extremely nice home to a shelter for the homeles. You'll get people who've run the gamut of life and you'll get people who've pretty much only experienced their way of life and everything else in between.

Have you been here long? Do you only stick to one particular part of the site?

Lots of posters here very different from me and others I feel more similar. That is what makes MN interesting!

I'm from the south. FT term time only job, under governments income level. DS with SN. Live in HA property. Lone parent. I shop in laid and telco.

My best friend has a good job (30k+) income and so does her DH. They have 2 cars, a boat and own their house ( but do have mortgage) shop in sainbos.

Peoples lives and finances do not affect their friendships ime.

And I've never felt snobbery on here. There are threads where it's clear there are similar minded, similar financially well off people on there but also many threads where people are struggling financially and there are many people who are struggling too or have been there on the threads.

Yabu and would suggest you seek another forum if your not happy hear. There are plenty of others.

As others have said, what an income will buy you depends very much on the area that you live in. I live in rural Wales, where the cost of living is probably quite similar to where the OP lives. My SIL lives in the SE and their (to me) huge household income doesn't seem to get them much more than our far more modest one. She became a SAHM as she couldn't afford the childcare for 3 DC if she worked.

I know lots of people who employ cleaners and tutors, and they aren't necessarily on huge wages. If you both work FT then £20 a week for a couple of hours cleaning won't break the bank and will free up your Saturday morning for family stuff. It is something that we are considering except that I would have to tidy up first

There is a wide range of people on MN, YABU to swallow the myth that everyone is MC and (to quote today's Observer) "a particular type of over-bearing parent".

I also find that more people on here than average send their children to private schools and have nannies etc. Myself and my friends all have good jobs yet not one of us can afford our own home, let alone private education for any children we might have or a nanny to look after them, or a cleaner to sort the houses we rent.

The thing I hate most is when I have posted about something minor, been attacked and told 'I hope you're not teaching my children'. It actually puts me off posting - I'm very good at my job and don't need strangers hoping I'm nowhere near their kids.

Maybe I don't look on the right parts of the site - I started using it as a way of understanding how parents felt about certain things and it has helped on some level.

scottish people post too but mn needs a jolly nice sort with grasp of syntax to explain in bbc manner

I have to type in English all the time on here it is so tiresome

Hate it when people go on about north vs south like everyone in north is poor and everyone in south is rich. Because that really is what its like

I don't think that your description really covers most MNetters though, you only have to look at any thread relating to housing or nannies or incomes to realise that.

FWIW, I live in the SE. I am a nanny and live in a house-share because it's impossible to afford your own place even on two wages down here if you want to save (not that we're on two wages) yet I couldn't do my job outside of more expensive areas easily. And I don't have children because I cannot afford to have children, which breaks my heart if I stop to think about it. So we're not all the above!

There are quite a lot of us on here in house shares and quite a lot of us who are under 25 on here too both with and without kids.

I think due to the nature of the site (parenting) that people discuss the education of the children, especially as there's a thriving education board.

I don't notice any snobbery on here, in fact, I think it's lessened in the last few years.

I don't notice much snobbery, not any.

I live in London and am a sahm. I am a sahm because I wouldn't earn enough to pay for childcare + travel