To feel like I live in a completely different world to most mumsnetters?

[FloozeyLoozey]

No one I know can afford to be SAHM. Wages over 20k are seen as damned good, not disparaged. Anything over 30k makes you well off. I don't even know where Lancashire's private schools are, or anyone who hires a tutor. Nannies are another urban myth that don't exist around here, it's all after school clubs and nurseries. I feel completely alienated from this place at times. Am I just a common northerners out of place on mn who should migrate to netmums, because the shockingly snobby attitudes at times tell me I should.

I live in London and am a sahm. I am a sahm because I wouldn't earn enough to pay for childcare + travel

Incomes are higher in the south, but the cost of housing is much higher, so the extra money doesn't buy you much/buys you less. A higher wage only enables you to have a better standard of living if it increases your purchasing power.

It is expensive to have a nanny, but having a very highly paid job often also means that you are expected to work strange hours and have to rely on 'out of hours' child care. Why shouldn't women have highly paid jobs that both enable and require them to have nannies? (Obviously men should be as involved in discussing their nannies as women, but that is another thread).

Plenty of people in the south have low paid jobs, do not have nannies and don't shop at Waitrose.

Unless you are looking on the schools board where people do ask advice about tutoring and private schools (probably because these aren't the normal thing to do, so people are more likely to look for information on line), I don't think families with tutored children at private schools are overly represented on Mumsnet.

Yes there are sometimes snobby attitudes on mumsnet, but on a site with so many users that isn't surprising - it's just human nature.

If the range of people you meet in your day to day life is fairly limited, isn't it great that you can meet a more diverse cross section on-line?

Ha! I'm much more likely to be the cleaner than have a cleaner - I don't find MN particularly snobby at all. My social group is a wide mix of incomes/professions though so perhaps I'm not quite as conscious of it - I don't think my situation is as common as it should be.

On the whole, what attracted me to MN is it's a rare place on the internet dominated by women who are witty, interesting and opinionated. You really don't get that on a lot of internet forums (or be allowed to swear like a sailor ).

I've not ever had the impression of someone being looked down on for their 'financial class' so to speak. Income doesn't make you upper or lower class imo - well not as much these days - but actions certainly do.

Some of the poshest people I know don't have a bean.

Where is usual? She will love you.

I agree with you that there is a southern, well off, bias on here.

Snobby? Not sure. I think some boards can be prone to that a bit. Steer clear of the education board if you think like that. And the property board.
But celebrate that your housing costs and catering costs may well be loads lower.

And just for the record my wage is graded so I get the same in the North as I would in the South. Living in the deepest south means I get no London allowance. Same for Dh although he does get 500 extra a year as Southern ...my point is there is a lot of skewing of wages in the South please do not generalise.
What about people in The Midlands then eh? Shall we generalise about them too OP ?

I am so glad somebody raised this issue, I've been thinking the same thing for ages! I'm not a northerner but a Londoner, grew up on a council estate and was a mother at the age of seventeen. I'm 22 now and have spent the last four years at university doing a BA and now a PGCE, supporting my family with my Student Finance and DPs small income.

Maybe this isn't a view shared by many, but I often feel like MN is an exclusive club for a certain type of mum. Kind of feels like the school playground mums who group together while I'm left standing in the corner (acting as if I can't hear them questioning whether I'm the mum or big sister...)

Maybe people don't have such long commutes if they aren't working in London? If you have more than one child and you can't reliably be home by 6/6.30 every night a nanny is often the most economically viable solution.

is often the most economically viable solution.

The only solution that will enable you to work.

Sometimes mn is Downton Abbey and sometimes it is Coronation Street there can be touches of Jeremy Kyle and Casualty too. It is a wonderful and diverse site. "All humankind is here" and you can access advice and opinions from any number of people. No one is out of place.

Think those with money probably hold back more actually, it's not really seen as cricket to wave it in folks faces.

Wow, didn't expect this thread to take off in the way it has! Admittedly I'd had a few vinos last night and went OTT and it is worded in quite an inflammatory way. Apologies for it seeming like I'm stereotyping vast swathes of people. I know society is far more complex than that.

I agree about the less of the Northerner thing. If you mean Northern England, then I've lived in some pretty wealthy places -and inner London, and some seaside towns, for example, are just as poor as many of the not so rich places in the north. If you include Scotland in that, then many, many of the homes in Edinburgh, for example, evidently don't exist, they're not cheap and some areas are definitely posh. This is about rich/poor not where you live!

Where are all these 'rich bitches' (love how MIL keeps shoehorning that one in on various threads - bitter much?) on MN?

I'm come across exactly two in my time here.

I'm a single Mum on benefits. Wasn't when I joined - was a SAHM in a relationship then, trucking along as you do.

I think MN is full of all kinds of people. Some are judgemental fuckers, most aren't. Some are disablist/racist arse, vast majority aren't. Some have nannies/cleaners, some don't.

I've found that anyone who gets snooty (love that word mrsjay) gets pulled up on it pretty quickly.

I've had PMs from different people about different things.

It's a great place, full of diverse people.

OP, YABU. And simply put, if you don't like it, go back to NetMums and be a 'hun'.

That's what I like about mumsnet, that there are people from all walks of life and parts of the country on it.

I've got to admit that I like that there are lots of well-off women on here, usually because it means that they have/or had before children great and interesting careers. In RL although most people I know my age are graduates all our parents all had very very normal jobs childminder/taxi driver/IT technician etc. - so I find it a great source for career advice/inspiration. I'm considering applying for a PhD and I love that there that there are lots of mums which are academics on this site.

You want vinegar on that chip? Seriously there's every kind on here and every belief and attitude to, and that's what makes it a good place, I've had access to specialist advice from people I'd never normally be able to afford to know let alone ask, and It's never been judgemental or snobby.
Ps next time share the

I love the variety of mn it is an eye opener and educational as you can get quite stuck in your own world and don't appreciate the viewpoint and situation of others. Dh and I live on above average salaries and have no dcs I thought we were doing ok but have realised we are a lot better off than most so has made me really reevaluate my reality.

The only thing that really annoys me is the way people who work in retail are looked down " End up stacking shelves in a supermarket "

You see all sorts on here. None if it bothers me. I couldn't care less how much others have got.

I am from a deprived area of Yorkshire. Brought up working class, with a father out of work in the 90's recession. So on benefits.
Still live in the town I grew up in as it's nice, down to earth and friendly and property is cheap.

We have a household income of around £40k, no Nanny though as I am a childminder. Would love a cleaner though. Some of my friends have cleaners.

We have also been on benefits as in the recession DH lost his job. I have worked and been a SAHM.

Not sure what class we are though, both university educated, DH was from a MC background - his Dad was self made Company director. I don't feel one thing or the other. And would never feel inferior to another poster just because of my 'social status'.

With regards to the Nanny thing though if you have 2 or more children it'd just be cheaper to employ a nanny, in a lot of cases.

The only thing that really annoys me is the way people who work in retail are looked down " End up stacking shelves in a supermarket

I don't think people who work in retail are looked down on at all. After all, can anyone here say that when they were a child their ideal job would have been stacking shelves in a supermarket? I think when people say that (and I have seen it said) they are pointing out that that it's not a career that's really going places, the money isn't great, etc.

And how often to people turn up on here complaining about miserable shop staff? So how many people are jumping out of bed in the morning shouting 'whoopee, I get to put tins of soup out today!'? Very few, I would imagine.

Personally, I don't want any of my dc to 'end up stacking shelves in a supermarket'. I want them to have fulfilling, well-paid jobs, with a chance of good career progression. That's not snooty - isn't that what most people want for their dc?

I really enjoy chatting to people on mn whose life is very different to kind...that includes very wealthy and also at the other end of the scale very poor people.
I think it has rally challenenged some of my assumptions over the years.
I particularly remember a thread some time ago from a poster who you would deem very wealthy op...she and her dh had a big house, 2 cars etc but were having a very bad time moepney wise and she was actually selling her clothes to pay for school trips for her dc.
It was a real eye opener.
Things are not always as they appear.....

Some threads seem a bit snobby like where someone mentions 3 or 4 private/public schools and can't choose between them - like the annual Whitgift area thread (just like that face!)
But I know schools are a big deal so can well imagine that that is actually the thing they most need advice on at the time.
There's a thread for everything here including how to stretch the last of the cupboard stand-by's to make a tasty soup to feed your family. And if there isn't you can always start your own.

I agree with heartbroken. I've worked in supermarkets and will be again when I go back to work. I find it quite boring and all that lies ahead is endless NMW. So I would like dd not to end up doing the same job and to have the chance to do a job she enjoys or one with career progression. That's not snooty.