To complain about this??

[absentmindeddooooodles]

My ds is 2.9. He goes to the nursery down the road one day a week. ( cannot afford for him to go any more regularly) just to get socialised and to try and work on seperation anxiety. velcro child syndrome

Went to pick him up today and was met by three of the nursery workers "wanting to have a talk".

This got me really worried as they looked very....strict. like I was being bloody told off.

To cut a long story short....they told me that as my son is still in nappies I would have to think about taking him out of nursery until the problem is sorted!! ( problem him not being potty trained)

They talked for a good ten mins about how its an inconvenience to them having such a big boy needing constant monitoring incase hes done a poo.

I didnt want to get into an argument and never would infront of all the kids, but did put across a couple of points:
. He is in "the baby room" as they call it. Babies from birth to 3 years. There are fewer older toddlers than babies....so I imagine they should be all set up forpchanging nappies.
.theybe never said anything to me before about him being in nappies being an issue. I have even had discussions with his keyworker about the favt that I had tried potty training him but he got a v bad bout of chicken pox right in the middle of it so we have gone back to square one.
. I dont personally think he's too old to be in nappies. He's not 3 until april and as long as he isn't rocking up to his first day of school in pampers Its fine.
. He is currently undergoing a diagnnosis for adhd and possibly as. It's bloody hard enough to get through the day without making him do something hes not ready to.

Their response to all the above was that he is more than old enough to be using a toilet and by him not doing this its taking time away from the babies who actually need looking after!!!!!

Out of the three of them who spoke to me....the youngest one ( about 16 on placement) told me it was disgusting to have to clean up a fully grown childs poo!

Im reeling and actually v embarassed as there were quite a few other parents round while this was going on.

Now I know ianbu to not be impressed with the way this was dealt with......but aibu to not have potty trained him by now?

Should he be totally out of nappies by this age? This is my first dc and moat friends dc are younger thn mine. A family member had their dd totally dry through the night by 2.5....but all kids are different.....surely its down to the individual?

Im sorry this has been so epically long...but am at a loss!
.

Am so angry that by the sounds of it they have been forcing him onto the toilet in tears. No bloody wonder he dosn't want to potty train yet!!

And mamma the inconsistencies are just ridiculous!! Ive dug out his "rexord of achievement"
All a load of utter bollocks in these statements accoeding to what theyve written here.

Extract from keyworker 2.5 months ago:

Ds has settled in perfectly and become part of the family! He is a lovely boy who never fails to be polite. We've never heard so many pleases and thankyous! He is happiest playing in the garden in one of our cars and loves having a chat to x about his animals.
Ds has one this months star award in songs. Heis favourites are wind the bobbin up and old macdonald!
Ds does very well at mealtimes sitting all on his own and always asking for seconds of his fruit. Which we encourage all the children to do.
Ds prefers to play on his own or with the older boys and girls in the garden.
Ds needs to work on his s sounds a bit as he can be hard to understand.
He is a very fearless little boy so maybe mummy could explain about jumping off high things!
..........

Thanks for the cheering up all of you. :)

Can you request confirmation from the nursery in writing that these people have any childcare qualifications at all ? This is so bad it's hilarious. It would be apart from the impact it has had on your son.

Fantastic that you have records of his progress already!! Ofsted will find the contradictions very interesting.

If they were trying to cover their arses against a complaint about their attack, they should have done it in a much more considered way!

That is juicy, OP. Keep collecting evidence of their bullshit inconsistencies.

Sugar.......this is what I mean. Hes advanced with his speech and learning...but had delays so didnt speak until he was two. His balance is behind even though hes a bloody ninja when climbing and he cannot seem to stop.....moving/running even if hes exhausted. This is whe hes having ameltdown though, not all the time.

Have just found the folder where ive kept every bloody scrap of paper theyve ever given me. Mwah ha ha ha.

And it sounds like you have shared your concerns with your HV or GP.... If the nursery were concerned at all in terms of SN, then the senco should have talked to you - the senco should work in partnership with the parent at all times, supporting them if further investigations or referrals are necessary.

I can't believe some of the things they have written! Just complete rubbish and completely in contrast with best practice (and current thinking) So, so angry on your behalf.

Hugs xxxx

I would not want to leave my son there, though you are clearly right and they are wrong, still are not going to suddenly stop being arses and start doing a good job are they.
But complain, complain, to try to change things for the future.

It really seems that they are almost threatening you with SS or at least reporting you to the HV. You sound like you and DS are well known to HCPs though, so this really is not an issue.

Apart from all of the things that are wrong with what they've said and done, I just think it's mad that they think changes one child's nappy four times in one day is far too much work. Why? It just sounds par for the course for me?

My DS is 2.10yrs and can't say the bloody alphabet! He can count to 10 and say the right letters if you point at them but I wouldn't expect him to recite the entire alphabet yet! They seem to be expecting miracles from a 2yr old. Potty trained, not getting food on his face, saying the fucking alphabet! Are these people even qualified?!

I'm getting more sweary everytime I post in this thread but I'm just so angry on your behalf OP that the people you have trusted to look after you child would turn out to be so unprofessional and downright rude in how they are speaking about your child!

'I second...' Clearly shows collusion in 'witness' statements so hardly independent opinions given separately... Pretty unprofessional in that sense.

Well I don't know why I've particularly singled that bit out as unprofessional as I see it they've:

Lied re nappies if on record he's only done 3 poos in 8 months
Lied re development particularly eating food which they singled out as accomplished in his report but are now in writing saying it is inadequate
Lied re hostility if your mum witness disagrees
Lied re telling you he needed potty training by 2 1/2 if their written policy makes no mention of this specifically. It should also have been specifically mentioned in his report if that milestone hadn't been hit and it was a deal breaker
Ignored the fact you have him under the care of a paediatrician for possible AS/ADHD and thus not made any allowances for developmental delay. Saying it's OK for premature babies but not those with potential AS/ADHD is discriminatory.
Imposed gender specific rules on clothing without any basis for determining that they cause gender confusion issues. FFS I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between girls navy blue and boys navy blue leggings??? It's not like it was a sparkly pink tutu! But even if it was so what??? My DSis DS went to nursery with a boy who loved wearing pink and that was that.
Questioning the origin of his behaviour being learned from home when he's being investigated for AS/ADHD. Because of course you 'catch' those off your parents

I'm outraged on your behalf and I very much hope this nursery gets what's coming to it. But please keep your cool as whilst if must be heartbreaking to see your DS suffer, the way to ensure no other child suffers is to be calm, rational and logical. Good luck

Pps my son had the most hideous poo in pant incident at Pre-school today. I turned up just as the clearing up which involved rubber gloves, lots of wipes and carrier bags had finished! The staff couldn't have been more relaxed about it, lots of 'don't worry DS, you'll tell us next time' and to me - 'it happens all the time, that's what we're here for'.

They are in the wrong jobs if they complain about wiping childrens faces and changing their nappies.

I believe in my opinion that he would be better off in another nursery where thwy can cater to his special individual needs.

So apart from the fact that they've already shown they have no understanding of the principles of the EYFS and they've broken their own policies, they are now admitting in writing that they cannot cater for the individual needs of children. After you've already told them you are complaining to OfSTED. Are they actively trying to get themselves closed down?

If it wasn't such an awful situation that had left you DS so upset, this would be side-splittingly funny. At least they've shown themselves up and you can get him out of there. Imagine what might have happened if you'd left him there until he started school.

I've only got down the first page, but I am truly so incensed on your behalf, and for your little DS.

Please please PLEASE take this to the highest authority, they are talking out of their arses.

Do EVERYTHING in your power to defend your lovely, clever little boy, he needs you to kick their ignorant, intolerant arse right back to school.
I wish I'd had MN to help me when I'd had an issue with Ds's nursery, but i was so fucking angry I'd have burst into tears or throttled someone, so I sent EXP in, who had worked at the centre (admin) so was all nicey nice with the manager, and allowed them to fob us off. I'm still really angry that I didn't take things further, but the manager ppoh-poohed my LEGITIMATE concerns, and exp (who was P at the time) minimised and told me it was all sorted, he'd had a word, blah blah blah, but actually I should have got the fuckers shut down.

I'm not projecting my frustration onto you to spur you into action because I never did, this really needs to be sorted, you are NOT over reacting, go in there well armed with the knowledge that you are right and they don't know what the FUCK they are doing!

Hang on a sec - I've just been back to the start of this thread - this nursery isn't private and is attached to a SCHOOL? I'd be marching straight into the Head's office first thing tomorrow if I were you! (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong - I don't know how nursery/school management works)

I would want a definition of "hostile" from them. As someone who has read many witness statements at work and investigated for disciplinaries the level of collusion is obvious and staggering. They appear to be sharing a brain cell.

If my child was in this nursery I would want to know about this so I could take her out. I wouldn't trust them to look after a houseplant.

Well done!

You have managed to get so much hard evidence that it is absolutely obvious to anybody that they are shit at their jobs, and liars.

I would go to ofsted out of some kind of feeling of duty, but bear in mind they are pretty useless at investigating stuff. Why not stand outside nursery with a letter to give to all the other parents?

agree with Diana. I think the unanimous consensus (which is pretty rare) on an AIBU thread that they are fuckers speaks volumes really

Well, trying to look at it in a positive light, at least you now have two clear cut objectives:

1. ensuring that this 'top-grade' childcare student (sorry, give me 10 mins whilst I roar with uncontrollable laughter) has her professional opinion shoved up her arse and barred from taking care of children forthwith and
2. getting ofsted, the council, your paed cons, your health visitor etc all lined up and shutting this disgrace of a nursery down

They have not complied with their own guide lines, failed to fill in paperwork correctly, they have treated your son very harshly and they have lied repeatedly about it. They are fully aware that your ds is being investigated for potential sn so bring the full weight of disability discrimination to bear against them.

The best bit is that their own statements have given you enough to hang them........and they don't even know that yet!!

Am incandescent on your behalf. On a lighter note, you sound fab, btw, and your boy sounds just adorable!!

Jesus, definately send that statement to her college, what are they playing at?!

Would the aqllegations she's making against OP be seen as slander? Might be worth finding out as that's disgraceful. Ofsted need ton know that too, especially if you have anything from the keyworker that's written down that states that there are no concerns. And again that puts them into more trouble as if there are concerns they should have gone through the correct channels to report them.

Keyworker states that she believes he is autistic yet goes on to say that it's not right he isn't developing at the same rate as other children. Well no shit Sherlock And is autism not an additinoal need these days? All of them need to be fired. It's difficult to believe that they are in childcare

And fucking hell commenting on his leggings?! What fucking right do they have to decide what he can and cannot wear?! Boys should be fine to wear leggings!

As somebody else said, Ofsted are going to have a field day with this nursery.

Is the email address a private one or one linked with the nursery?

Don't copy and paste the emails, print them straight from your browser, that way you can show that you haven't altered them.

They are really fucking themselves over, especially as with incidents the witness statements are supposed to be done straight from the staff with no discussion or without seeing them as it#'s obvious that they have been seen.

Did you manage to get in touch with the college of the student?