To complain about this??

[absentmindeddooooodles]

My ds is 2.9. He goes to the nursery down the road one day a week. ( cannot afford for him to go any more regularly) just to get socialised and to try and work on seperation anxiety. velcro child syndrome

Went to pick him up today and was met by three of the nursery workers "wanting to have a talk".

This got me really worried as they looked very....strict. like I was being bloody told off.

To cut a long story short....they told me that as my son is still in nappies I would have to think about taking him out of nursery until the problem is sorted!! ( problem him not being potty trained)

They talked for a good ten mins about how its an inconvenience to them having such a big boy needing constant monitoring incase hes done a poo.

I didnt want to get into an argument and never would infront of all the kids, but did put across a couple of points:
. He is in "the baby room" as they call it. Babies from birth to 3 years. There are fewer older toddlers than babies....so I imagine they should be all set up forpchanging nappies.
.theybe never said anything to me before about him being in nappies being an issue. I have even had discussions with his keyworker about the favt that I had tried potty training him but he got a v bad bout of chicken pox right in the middle of it so we have gone back to square one.
. I dont personally think he's too old to be in nappies. He's not 3 until april and as long as he isn't rocking up to his first day of school in pampers Its fine.
. He is currently undergoing a diagnnosis for adhd and possibly as. It's bloody hard enough to get through the day without making him do something hes not ready to.

Their response to all the above was that he is more than old enough to be using a toilet and by him not doing this its taking time away from the babies who actually need looking after!!!!!

Out of the three of them who spoke to me....the youngest one ( about 16 on placement) told me it was disgusting to have to clean up a fully grown childs poo!

Im reeling and actually v embarassed as there were quite a few other parents round while this was going on.

Now I know ianbu to not be impressed with the way this was dealt with......but aibu to not have potty trained him by now?

Should he be totally out of nappies by this age? This is my first dc and moat friends dc are younger thn mine. A family member had their dd totally dry through the night by 2.5....but all kids are different.....surely its down to the individual?

Im sorry this has been so epically long...but am at a loss!
.

Weird....exactly that. I dont think im going to have to put forward a case at all. Just send these bloody ridiculous emails to offsted and thatll be more than enough!!!

Bloody hell.

Exactly tracy....I thought the style of writing was the same too.

Not contacting tham at all. Just waiting for the last statements to come through. Have had no contact with them since email much much earlier.

Send it all to Ofsted. They have dug their own graves idiots .

And actually the emails are hilarious. I hope you're getting at least a little bit of a giggle out of them.

I do hope they don't let any of the girls wear jeans. We wouldn't want them to be confused

They all sound like loonies. Report them.

That is so awful. They have ludicrous expectations of 2 year olds. You are well out if it. I'm so glad the other mum can help.

Their response is so bizarre that I had to search your name to check you weren't a troll Sorry! If you are a troll you've been very dedicated at building a back story...

BUT what the actual fuck is this meant to mean Ds came into nursery wearing leggins last week. Navy blue girls leggins. I do not rhink this is appropriate for a male child. It is blurring the lines between gender issues.

Wow. Am late to this thread but, my suggestions on what you might do are a little different from others. I think you'll find the wheels of the machinery at Ofsted move a little too slowly to be overly helpfully to you. So...

You say the young lady with the not at all professional opinion is on placement. From where? Where is her college - copy her emails back to her course tutor with a complaint of your own about her.

Have you thought about the early years team at the council as a port of call? ( shout me down if there isn't one - some will know more than me) - but on a day to day basis for funded childcare, is the council / LEA not responsible for oversight? You may want to even think though if you feel this is a safeguarding issue ( although that is probably taking it a bit far) - with how undermining the staff are to/ in front of your son.

Personally I'd be really tempted to print out a copy of the emails and stick them on the nursery door for all to see.........

The most horrible thing about all of this is the point scoring- they are using attack as a way of defense for their wrong actions. It all started off because they commented about your child's toilet habits. You weren't happy with this and raised the issue- it then descended into them laying into you and your child, with previously unmentioned claims such as his behaviour is bad, he is likely to be autistic, he is being neglected, he is wearing the wrong clothes for his sex (if there is such a thing), he is incapable of eating properly... If they were any good and these claims were true (apart from the ridiculous notion that he is in the incorrect clothing ) then they should have raised these issues earlier with you or the relevant authorities, instead of waiting for an opportunity to store it all up and use it as a weapon against you just because they don't like what they hear.

Trust me when I say this all says a lot more about them than it does you, OP. There is no way they are going to come out of this looking good. It would be a scandal if they did.

Kew I had to search the OP's name for the same reason.

Im still not convinced tbh. But I want to give the benefit of the doubt.

Did you call Ofsted OP?

Id think it was a troll if I stumbled across this thread too! So no worries on that count! :) ( not a chance I have enough brain power to think up all this shite )

Will look into other avenues that people have suggested.

And yy to sticking it to doors......am sooooo tempted!

just read your posts - who the hell is employing these people to look after children? they are at best clueless and at worst actually going to do harm to children (not physically, but psychologically)

Wow. Just. Wow.

This is so utterly bizarre. Sounds like a horrible place. If it is in a children's centre I would be speaking to children's services at the council too.

Fucking hell. How do people like this end up working with kids?? Their lack of knowledge is astounding. And the way they say he's autistic like it's an accusation - something you have to defend yourself against. I hope to God ofsted do something, these awful people shouldn't be allowed anywhere near kids.

They're obviously scaremongering and must be so sure you won't take it further.

They are also idiots.

I love the fact that they've been stupid enough to put all this in writing.

I'd really like to be a fly on the wall at Ofsted when they read their 'professional' judgements!

I don't know how these sorts of nurseries operate. Is there someone at the local council you could speak to too?

Absolutely unbelievable. Thank goodness they've reacted so horrifically brilliantly, so you don't have to ever ever leave your child there again, and hopefully someone can advise you who to contact to get these absolute bastards shut down.

Your son sounds incredibly bright and lovely btw!

WTAF - I am raging on your son's behalf.

Is the premises a sure start centre? or is it privately owned? If it's surestart then it should be ultimately run by the local authority.

Yes to contacting the college and the local child safeguarding board because there are serious issues here with respect to emotional harm to children.

Hugless I have almost hidden the thread a ffew times as it makes me so angry and upset. At least this child has decent parents - I keep telling myself that.

Oh well the navy blue girls leggings makes all thr difference. They are right and you are wrong. How could you - if he can read the label he will be scarred for life!

You know if this wasnt so nasty to your chikd, id say someone was winding you up op. They are sounding less and less proffessional (did she use that spelling :)) by the second.

Thanks again for all the support everyone. Some great ideas and action plans.

I think im actually going to contact the local mp and getthis publicised a bit. Cant stand the thought of other kids being put through things like this.

Ds has been noticably withdrawn all day. And has been upset twice when changing his nappy. Im so angry theyve made him think his own bodily functions are something to be upset over.

On a ligjter note he has just rexieved some lovely mn christmas cards from the exchange thread...so I sitting singing postman pat on loop and reading them. :) thankyou to the lovely vipers who sent them we are going to make the replies after tea :)

Still waiting on two more statements to come through aapparently . So will share the stupidity as they come through.

Sorry to have upset anyone! Be comforted that he is currently kutched up in his favorite ( pink) pyjamas and having cuddles. :)

Hang on...they dont think your so is 29 and meant to be working at the nursery do they? That is the only thing thatcould explain their utter stupidity.

Oh and yes....statements were copied and pasted feom emails so exactly as they are. As for the spelling mistakes on my own posts....the only excuses I have are fat thumbs, a cracked screen amd THE RAGE :)

Stealth nothing would surprise me with these dimwits.