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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About character-emblazoned clothes?

186 replies

CrazyThursday · 10/12/2013 21:10

Disclaimer: no offence to those who like character clothes

DM asked me what DD would like for Xmas so I provided a list (to the other gp's too).

DM ignored list and texted to say she'd seen a "lovely" coat with a cartoon character on whixh she was going to get for DD. We have previously discussed how we both dislike character clothes and how I would never buy them for DD whilst she's little enough to wear what I put her in (she's 2). I texted DM back saying "hmmm really not a fan of character stuff, though I've seen a nice plain coat that would be nice instead, or failing that something from the list". The text back was "well I've bought it now".

She phoned the next day and said "if you really hate it I guess I'll put it on eBay but I though dd would love it". I said "I'm sure dd would like it but I'm afraid I can't stand the stuff which we'd both joked about in the past and until she asks to wear that kind if thing I plan to avoid it". This was last week.

Today DM and I were on the phone and she said "that coat is so cute, I'm so sure DD will love it. I think I'm going to keep it here and she can wear it on the days that I have her, she can start a CHARACTER NAME rebellion".

AIBU to be really riled by this? DM has undermined me on a few DD related things and I rarely say anything because it has, in the past, led to almighty rows and I'm slowly learning to pick my battles. In the great scheme of things it doesn't matter what DD wears, it's more my mum's attitude of "I don't care whether you like it or not". And what else would she be doing on the days that she has DD that I might not like??? Will she use that time she has with DD to get one up on mummy?

OP posts:

GhostsInSnow · 12/12/2013 09:22

I'm 40 now. I look back on photos of me as a kid and two stick in mind, in one I'm wearing a Muppets T Shirt, in the other I'm in the garden, smiling broadly wearing a Speedy Gonzales vest. Both characters evoke happy childhood memories, a trigger if you will.

My own two grown up children were often pictured in Toy Story shirts or the Teletubbies and they evoke their memories from seeing those characters.

Its a character on an item of clothing, it means nothing to most people over the age of ten but to a 2 year old it can be the most amazing thing in the whole world and something they remember fondly.

It's funny, I don't recall 99% of my clothing from childhood, but those items I do sit and remember wistfully were characterful and fun.

YABU.

lastnightopenedmyeyes · 12/12/2013 09:25

Sirzy. If how your child is dressed just doesn't matter to you, can I ask how you select their clothing? Just pick up any random clothing in the relevant size without any care for how it looks?

Genuine question not being snarky. Surely every parent takes some interest in how their child is dressed?

ovenbun · 12/12/2013 09:28

Is it just the character coat or would anything not on 'the list' have caused upset? If your Dm does quite a bit of childcare then it's so much easier not to sweat the small stuff, you never have to dress dd in it :)

Sirzy · 12/12/2013 09:29

I pick clothes I like of course I do, but he is also given a lot of clothes which I am greatful for and I am not going to stop him wearing something he likes because it's not to my taste.

Children are individuals and I don't think expecting them to conform to our preferences does them any good. As long as it is weather appropriate then he can wear what he likes!

lastnightopenedmyeyes · 12/12/2013 09:34

Sirzy the weather appropriate but is my problem DS LOVES his Spider-Man rain mac which is just a thin plastic mac. Trying to get him to wear his plain grey winter coat is an uphill struggle!!

Sirzy · 12/12/2013 09:35

Will the rain Mack fit over a normal coat or thick cardi? I have had to do that wil DS before now

GhostsInSnow · 12/12/2013 09:35

Sirzy, your quote of As long as it is weather appropriate then he can wear what he likes! made me smile because it reminded me of a friends little boy.
Every night he'd come to school with his Mum to collect his sister and every night, without fail he'd be wearing a Spiderman costume. The full thing, including mask. On wet days he'd grudgingly put his coat on top and a pair of wellies on, but he was as far as he was concerned Spiderman and that was that.

We used to joke that when he started school he'd wear it under his uniform. He wore it solidly for about a year to the point where my friend had to buy a couple so she could wash them. It was incredibly sweet and made him so happy I couldn't have begrudged him his outfit and neither could his Mum.

I always gave my kids some choice in what they wore. A lot of it didn't match, a lot of it mostly consisted of a favourite old shirt day in day out, but they liked the freedom to choose their clothing (within weather reason) and if it had a character on it but they liked it then it didn't really matter.

lastnightopenedmyeyes · 12/12/2013 09:51

It won't fit over anything, it's really tight. It'll go under the duffle coat but obviously that's not good enough

Special Thanks to my sister for buying the Spider-Man mac

lastnightopenedmyeyes · 12/12/2013 10:06

Juice - my DS varies his superhero status by the day. One day he's Spider-man and the next he's Superman. Woe betide if I call him by the wrong name

EvilRingahBitch · 12/12/2013 10:07

I do think the mother is out of order. If my DSis tells me that she thinks pink clothes for girls are an oppressive tool of the patriarchy/pink clothes for boys will make them catch gay/pink is the colour of Satan and wearing it will send people to hell and I then buy my DN pink clothes for Christmas then that is a rude and passive aggressive (borderline actually aggressive) act. If I think her views are strange then I could discuss/argue/go NC, but simply acting like that is not on.

Obvs this does not apply where the prohibition is actively harmful - if DSis doesn't like girls to have books because reading makes your womb shrivel up then I'd be down to Waterstones children's department with my Amex and a roll of gift wrap so fast I'd leave a cloud of dust.

GhostsInSnow · 12/12/2013 10:25

lastnight, DD (now 16) spent most of her 2nd year dressed as a strange woody/buzz morph with a sheriffs badge, cowboy hat and jet pack. Occasionally she'd spend a few days as tigger, which was always interesting as she got fully in character and would bounce everywhere.

Funny creatures small children, but I do wish I could get away with dressing as a superhero on a daily basis

mewmeow · 12/12/2013 12:59

You can be against consumer culture all you want in your own life and clothing (i am). But, I don't think it is fair to make that decision for your children. You have to let them make their own minds up in life. They are not an extension of your own personal morals, beliefs and values. They are individuals.

Toffeepoppet · 12/12/2013 15:23

Is it the peppa pig coat?

I don't ever choose character clothing, as I don't really like it/ prefer plain clothes etc. However I bought my 2 year old a peppa pig coat as I knew she would LOVE it! And she does. I figured even though she is only 2, why not get her something she would love?

Every single time she wears it (every day) she is so happy to put it on, shows it off to people. She really really loves it.

Let your mum get the coat, let your daughter wear it if she wants, maybe it will bring her an unimaginable amount of happiness in her 2 year old world.

loveolives · 12/12/2013 15:52

YANBU. Tacky, cheap and chavvy. Always in the sales too as nobody wants it.

loveolives · 12/12/2013 15:53

BTW I'm mostly talking about Minnie Mouse embellished
Clothes etc ... Cringe

autumnsmum · 12/12/2013 16:31

Oh god I must be a chav as dd2 loves minniemouse as I said up thread she's autistic so getting her to wear clothes is a miracle in itself

ParenthoodJourney · 12/12/2013 19:37

Oh gosh I've said earlier I don't particularly like character clothes but I wouldn't go as far to say some of that! Hehe Minnie Mouse and Mickey Mouse are exceptions for me - especially from the Disney store absolutely gorgeous I'm always buying little Minnie dresses for my niece! It's Ben ten, angry birds etc I don't like !

Heartbrokenmum73 · 12/12/2013 19:43

loveolives

Wow. So my dc are now 'chavvy'? Because they wear character tops sometimes?

I'd like to say the following:

People who judge children as 'chavvy' or 'trashy' based on them wearing a cartoon character t-shirt are fucking twats.

Hth

ParenthoodJourney · 12/12/2013 19:44

I agree, I don't particularly like character clothing and avoid it unless my DS asks. If he did ask, I would be upset for someone to judge my four year old on his choice of clothing!!!

loveolives · 12/12/2013 19:45

I wasn't asking a question, I was just giving my opinion so you didn't need to help me with anything, however I'm definitely a fucking twat, as I definitely do think Disney clothes and the like are tacky/chavvy.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 12/12/2013 19:48

loveolives - glad we agree that your judging children on a t-shirt makes you a twat

loveolives · 12/12/2013 19:49

Cool beans, I don't mind being a twat for that :)

Sirzy · 12/12/2013 19:58

Love - are you serious that you judge and label children based on the clothes they wear?

monkeynuts123 · 12/12/2013 20:18

I second it that character clothes are chavvy, just are. DS has a couple of things which I have given in on but a coat? No way. I'd tell mum that it might seem silly to her but it's important to you and you don't want your daughter wearing it and can she take it back to shop for an exchange. I don't think yabu at all.

Toffeepoppet · 12/12/2013 20:30

Loveolives, chavvy is an offensive term. Did you know this and use it anyway or are you ignorant to its offence?

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