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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About character-emblazoned clothes?

186 replies

CrazyThursday · 10/12/2013 21:10

Disclaimer: no offence to those who like character clothes

DM asked me what DD would like for Xmas so I provided a list (to the other gp's too).

DM ignored list and texted to say she'd seen a "lovely" coat with a cartoon character on whixh she was going to get for DD. We have previously discussed how we both dislike character clothes and how I would never buy them for DD whilst she's little enough to wear what I put her in (she's 2). I texted DM back saying "hmmm really not a fan of character stuff, though I've seen a nice plain coat that would be nice instead, or failing that something from the list". The text back was "well I've bought it now".

She phoned the next day and said "if you really hate it I guess I'll put it on eBay but I though dd would love it". I said "I'm sure dd would like it but I'm afraid I can't stand the stuff which we'd both joked about in the past and until she asks to wear that kind if thing I plan to avoid it". This was last week.

Today DM and I were on the phone and she said "that coat is so cute, I'm so sure DD will love it. I think I'm going to keep it here and she can wear it on the days that I have her, she can start a CHARACTER NAME rebellion".

AIBU to be really riled by this? DM has undermined me on a few DD related things and I rarely say anything because it has, in the past, led to almighty rows and I'm slowly learning to pick my battles. In the great scheme of things it doesn't matter what DD wears, it's more my mum's attitude of "I don't care whether you like it or not". And what else would she be doing on the days that she has DD that I might not like??? Will she use that time she has with DD to get one up on mummy?

OP posts:
loveolives · 13/12/2013 10:02

No really, I would and have said it in real life. In fact went shopping with a friend the other week, she asked me if my daughter would like some of her daughters outfits (a few Minnie Mouse tops in there), I just said 'No thanks duck I find them a bit chavvy'. We both giggled and then went on about our day. However she knows me inside out and knows I meant no malice. That's what's hard about the tinternet you have no idea of the tone or body language a person is using. You have to have a thick skin online from personal experience.

Crowler · 13/12/2013 10:04

I'm not sure about the rebellion. My oldest is increasingly strident about what he'll wear; he won't even consider things that I got him into with ease five years ago. His wardrobe is totally different from my youngest son's, and he's very happy with it, and so am I.

He also has requested a new suit for Christmas.

Some kids are not that bothered about what they wear; I happen to have had 2 of them.

loveolives · 13/12/2013 10:05

I agree mew meow it's definitely going to be tricky! I wouldn't say I'm a control freak about most things, I think a lot of people would recoil in horror at how laid back I am, I just don't like some Disney clothes and whilst I dress them I chose not to put them in those things. When they want to dress themselves though they can wear what they like, it's all part of them growing up and me as a parent letting go, which I'm quite accepting of when the time arises.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 13/12/2013 10:06

That's my point though. You'd say it to a friend, you think it's ok to have a giggle and a sneer at other people's children and describe them as 'chavvy' because of their t-shirt. And that's what's cowardly about your attitude - you wouldn't say it to anyone else.

What if someone overheard you and was upset by it?

Can you honestly not see how offensive that is?

loveolives · 13/12/2013 10:08

I've said a number of times over the years, in all sorts of situations, so no not cowardly really. The t-shirt is chavvy, not the child. There's really no need to have a nosebleed over it.

Bunbaker · 13/12/2013 10:11

"Some kids are not that bothered about what they wear; I happen to have had 2 of them."

Might it be because they are boys?

Heartbrokenmum73 · 13/12/2013 10:13

I'm not 'having a nosebleed over it' - please stop being so patronising, I'm trying to have a proper discussion here.

How can a t-shirt be chavvy? Can you define chavvy for me? I'm genuinely interested to hear what chavvy means.

There have been many threads regarding the word 'chavvy' on here and it's seen as quite offensive. And it's not a 'pearl-clutching' thing either. I'm working-class, no pearl-clutching here.

Crowler · 13/12/2013 10:14

Sure.

SootikinAndSweep · 13/12/2013 10:16

I don't do character clothes either. Why ask you what you want and then buy something else? She can take it back, surely, it doesn't have to be Ebay.

loveolives · 13/12/2013 10:18

There's not really a lot to understand, I find some character clothing cheap tacky and chavvy. Chavvy I mean what a stereotypical chav would put their child in. It's really not hard to grasp, and above all it's my opinion and my opinion means jack shit so there's no need to get het up about it.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 13/12/2013 10:23

Of course I'm going to get het up about it. Your attitude and opinions about people are offensive - and your opinion includes me and my children, so yes, het up.

Again, could you define what 'chavvy' means.

And this:

what a stereotypical chav would put their child in

indicates that you do think it's the person, not the child.

So, my DS wears a Mickey Mouse t-shirt, which, in your opinion, makes me a stereotypical chav. Can I hear what you think a stereotypical chav is then? Dying to see if I fit your image - and I bet I damned well don't.

loveolives · 13/12/2013 10:27

Ok cool beans. If you can't grasp the very basics of what I'm saying then I highly doubt you'll be able to understand if I elaborate further.

sutekidane · 13/12/2013 10:28

Cool beans? Are you 12?

Heartbrokenmum73 · 13/12/2013 10:30

But you're not saying anything. I'm asking you simple questions and you're refusing to answer them.

Can you define what a stereotypical chav is, in your opinion.

If you can't, it's because you'll make yourself look incredibly offensive by offering your opinion.

sutekidane · 13/12/2013 10:34

heartbroken, she's trying to wind you up. That's why she keeps telling you not to have a nosebleed or using really childish dismissive comments. She's trying to get a rise out of you and then acting like she's above responding because of whatever reason because she knows it will annoy you. It's sad really.

monkeynuts123 · 13/12/2013 10:34

Oh I can do that easily, it's basically someone common. There you go, that's the elephant in the room. What defines common - discuss. I'm just going to go and put the kettle on.......

Heartbrokenmum73 · 13/12/2013 10:39

Sute

Oh, I know. I've argued with worse than her on here before now. People who could actually formulate an argument, even while being incredibly offensive.

Still waiting to hear what a 'stereotypical chav' is...

Crowler · 13/12/2013 10:44

Oy (waves flag). Can I just say I don't think character clothes are "common". In fact I think it's been pretty well documented on MN previously (there was a very lively thread some time back) that even caring about what your kids wear is in fact common, properly posh English people let their children wear whatever they want and drag them through the hedge and put them in some wellies and that's posh.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 13/12/2013 10:57

Crowler

My three are all currently wellie-less Sad.

But DD has some naice boots that I got in the sale in Debenhams - do they count?

AnneEyhtMeyer · 13/12/2013 11:04

The double standards and worries about commercialisation on this topic always make me laugh, as I expect most of the people saying they would never let their children wear character clothes are the same people wearing clothes advertising the shop they bought their clothes in or who think that pretend Japanese clothes from Cheltenham are desirable.

My DD has a fair smattering of character clothes. Why? Because she is 4 and she loves them. They make her happy. Would I wear them? No. But if my DD wants to wear them I'm happy for her to do so.

Moreisnnogedag · 13/12/2013 11:08

Ok what am I missing about character clothes? I don't buy them because they are more expensive (asda and tesco all the way for DS) but he's got a jake (from the never land pirates) pajama set which were on sale. I get massively irritated by the gender stereotyping of clothes and particularly dress up costumes but beyond that I didn't think character clothes were any worse?

Crowler · 13/12/2013 11:21

I think they probably count heartbroken.

What are the pretend Japanese clothes from Cheltenham, this sounds mysterious. This must be a girl thing (I have only boys).

The character clothes feed on the gender specific toys & vice versa.

sutekidane · 13/12/2013 12:04

That's got to be Superdry Grin

Crowler · 13/12/2013 12:11

Oh, Superdry. Well if they want to be mindless Superdry drones they're going to have to get jobs.

devilinside · 13/12/2013 13:12

Thank god for character clothes, otherwise my autistic son would be naked most of the time