About character-emblazoned clothes?

[CrazyThursday]

Disclaimer: no offence to those who like character clothes

DM asked me what DD would like for Xmas so I provided a list (to the other gp's too).

DM ignored list and texted to say she'd seen a "lovely" coat with a cartoon character on whixh she was going to get for DD. We have previously discussed how we both dislike character clothes and how I would never buy them for DD whilst she's little enough to wear what I put her in (she's 2). I texted DM back saying "hmmm really not a fan of character stuff, though I've seen a nice plain coat that would be nice instead, or failing that something from the list". The text back was "well I've bought it now".

She phoned the next day and said "if you really hate it I guess I'll put it on eBay but I though dd would love it". I said "I'm sure dd would like it but I'm afraid I can't stand the stuff which we'd both joked about in the past and until she asks to wear that kind if thing I plan to avoid it". This was last week.

Today DM and I were on the phone and she said "that coat is so cute, I'm so sure DD will love it. I think I'm going to keep it here and she can wear it on the days that I have her, she can start a CHARACTER NAME rebellion".

AIBU to be really riled by this? DM has undermined me on a few DD related things and I rarely say anything because it has, in the past, led to almighty rows and I'm slowly learning to pick my battles. In the great scheme of things it doesn't matter what DD wears, it's more my mum's attitude of "I don't care whether you like it or not". And what else would she be doing on the days that she has DD that I might not like??? Will she use that time she has with DD to get one up on mummy?

[Heartbrokenmum73]

And actually notsomuchroom it was you who said that about being pearl clutching - it's in one of your posts up the thread:

notsomuchroomattheinn Fri 13-Dec-13 06:08:51
chavvy is an offensive term...
Only in the worthy, pearl clutching circles. In RL it is about as offensive as snobby or snooty.

But yeah, you never said that

[Heartbrokenmum73]

Ok, just wow, nomoreroomattheinn

If you look back through the thread you'll see I was having a conversation with loveolives and that's who those remarks were directed to. It's quite obvious because there's back and forth between us!

[BerylStreep]

Going back to the op, I honestly don't think you should worry about it. Choose your battles, I'm sure the coat will be fine, and they do grow out of things really quickly at that age.

My MIL sounds a little like your DM. I recall having conversations with her when DC were young about Christmas or birthdays, and she always just went off and did her own thing anyway. I've just come to accept that about her and try not to care.

In terms of character clothing, I never even realised I was committing an unspoken MN sin, although any stuff we have is usually confined to pants and nightwear (DS is head to toe in Star Wars - 2 dressing gowns, PJs and slippers). I defy any person who knows me to call me common or chavvy!

I do think it is a fair enough point though, that if you have a fraught relationship with your Mum, it might not be such a good idea to rely on her for childcare. Ultimately, regardless of what childcare arrangements you have, there is always an element of compromise in how you would like things to be done, and that's speaking from experience of having a nanny, using a nursery, and a CM I would have given my eye teeth to have had DC looked after by a GM and have saved a small fortune in the process

[mewmeow]

We are talking about CLOTHES (the things you wear so you're not naked or cold), why would anyone give a banana what they did or didn't have on them?!

[notsomuchroomattheinn]

I was referring to you calling me spiteful, cowardly and explaining that I don't find chavvy offensive.
Interesting how you seem to think only the middle classes can be worthy and pearl clutching. I certainly didn't say that.

[Heartbrokenmum73]

Are you referring to me saying that only worthy-types see 'chavvy' as offensive is wrong?

Because if so, I don't agree that that's the case. I grew up in a seriously deprived area too. I lived in poverty. I'm still allowed to be offended by my kids being seen as 'chavvy'. It's not something that belongs to the middle-classes.

Otherwise, I'm not sure what you're getting at...

[notsomuchroomattheinn]

Heartbroken I grew up in and now live just outside of a place that has been described as the most consistently deprived area of Britain. I have read Owen Jones and I still stand by what I said. If you had bothered to read my post I said my own children wear character clothes even though I don't like it.
I do see words on the internet as just that nothing more, I find it hard to get het up about the opinions that others post online. They are opinions of strangers to me and nothing more.
If a stranger came up to me and said what do you think of this Bob the Builder top I'd happily say what I thought of it, just like I have on this thread.
I'm forever getting told my children's names are chavvy, on here and in real life. I don't care one jot. People judge other people, rightly or wrongly, it's human nature. It all depends on how you treat the person based on your judgement and how open you are to having your initial opinion changed.

[Crowler]

My kids dressed up too, blueberry. They had batman/spiderman/power rangers costumes, and were gripped by these characters for a number of years. It's just that I didn't buy the clothes. They seem fine, by the way.

[blueberryupsidedown]

Children enjoy dressing up, and often enjoy associating themselves with characters they see on tv and in movies, books, etc. It's a completely normal aspect of growing up. DSs are now 7 and 8 and think that any character clothing, lunch boxes etc are for 'babies' (ie anyone younger than them). Between the ages of about 3 to 5, it was all batman superman ben10 ninja turtles. That is now for 'babies' . Personally, I have absolutely no problem with character clothing, and children grow out of it pretty quickly. If they want to dress as peppa pig or spiderman for a year of their life so be it.

ps thanks for the info about some autistic children, very good to know.

[CaptainHindsight]

I have a Superdry winter coat and its lovely

DS wears character clothes too

Is someone always going to have the piss taken/be judged because of what they choose to wear?

[autumnsmum]

Devil I agree I said up thread if it wasn't for character clothing dd2 who's autistic would generally be permanently starkers

[devilinside]

Thank god for character clothes, otherwise my autistic son would be naked most of the time

[Crowler]

Oh, Superdry. Well if they want to be mindless Superdry drones they're going to have to get jobs.

[sutekidane]

That's got to be Superdry

[Crowler]

I think they probably count heartbroken.

What are the pretend Japanese clothes from Cheltenham, this sounds mysterious. This must be a girl thing (I have only boys).

The character clothes feed on the gender specific toys & vice versa.

[Moreisnnogedag]

Ok what am I missing about character clothes? I don't buy them because they are more expensive (asda and tesco all the way for DS) but he's got a jake (from the never land pirates) pajama set which were on sale. I get massively irritated by the gender stereotyping of clothes and particularly dress up costumes but beyond that I didn't think character clothes were any worse?

[AnneEyhtMeyer]

The double standards and worries about commercialisation on this topic always make me laugh, as I expect most of the people saying they would never let their children wear character clothes are the same people wearing clothes advertising the shop they bought their clothes in or who think that pretend Japanese clothes from Cheltenham are desirable.

My DD has a fair smattering of character clothes. Why? Because she is 4 and she loves them. They make her happy. Would I wear them? No. But if my DD wants to wear them I'm happy for her to do so.

[Heartbrokenmum73]

Crowler

My three are all currently wellie-less .

But DD has some naice boots that I got in the sale in Debenhams - do they count?

[Crowler]

Oy (waves flag). Can I just say I don't think character clothes are "common". In fact I think it's been pretty well documented on MN previously (there was a very lively thread some time back) that even caring about what your kids wear is in fact common, properly posh English people let their children wear whatever they want and drag them through the hedge and put them in some wellies and that's posh.

[Heartbrokenmum73]

Sute

Oh, I know. I've argued with worse than her on here before now. People who could actually formulate an argument, even while being incredibly offensive.

Still waiting to hear what a 'stereotypical chav' is...

[monkeynuts123]

Oh I can do that easily, it's basically someone common. There you go, that's the elephant in the room. What defines common - discuss. I'm just going to go and put the kettle on.......

[sutekidane]

heartbroken, she's trying to wind you up. That's why she keeps telling you not to have a nosebleed or using really childish dismissive comments. She's trying to get a rise out of you and then acting like she's above responding because of whatever reason because she knows it will annoy you. It's sad really.

[Heartbrokenmum73]

But you're not saying anything. I'm asking you simple questions and you're refusing to answer them.

Can you define what a stereotypical chav is, in your opinion.

If you can't, it's because you'll make yourself look incredibly offensive by offering your opinion.

[sutekidane]

Cool beans? Are you 12?

[loveolives]

Ok cool beans. If you can't grasp the very basics of what I'm saying then I highly doubt you'll be able to understand if I elaborate further.