to change DD's childcare because of this comment?

[katherinelilyflower]

DD is 12 months old this month and has been with her childminder 5 days a week since she was 7 months. I am the first to admit I can be defensive about this, which is why I want to check on here first before doing anything hasty.

DC2 is due in March. Originally I'd been going to start maternity leave in February but I've been unwell so won't be going back now after the Christmas holidays (2 weeks.) I told DD's childminder about this, and she was chatting to me for a while about my plans, and I forget the exact nature of the conversation but the gist was that I'd be taking 12 months for maternity, this going back to work January 2015 when DC2 will be 10 months.

So, you'll be putting another baby of less than a year old with me five days a week, will you?

was the comment.

So - MN jury - AIBU?

My oldest is 11, he was in the same nursery from he was 12 months old until he started reception. He had the same keyworker the entire time. The same staff all the years he was there.
It was such a lovely surprise to bump into his old keyworker at the local pool. She was still at the same nursery, as well as most of the other staff, she told me. She now has a child in Y1 at another local primary. I could not fault the care he got. (Aside from one incident)

Yanbu

You have plenty of time to find new childcare, dd1 would have to settle in again with the cm after such a long time away so I see no problem with changing her child are completely.

I think the cm was very rude and I think her attitude is poor.

veee considering this governemtn and others only give paid maternity leave for 8/9 months and the last 3 are unpaid, how would you suggest I pay my mortgage?

Whatever I couldn't care less what it suggests because I don't agree with a woman working unsociable hours and having her child in nursery and with a nanny and left with grandparents lol.
I wouldn't want my child calling somebody else mummy. Or saying can you be my mummy.

Mrsdevere thats a good thing I don't need any employment from you then isn't it. :)

"Whaevs"...

are you the CM/nanny or one of the kids with access to a computer?

To be fair to vee I've heard quite a few nannies saying derogatory things about their employers and their choices.

They don't say it their faces though!

I would take as long a maternity leave as possible, but because some months are unpaid we couldn't pay the mortgage for those months. What do you suggest, veee? I'd love to have a baby home with me for a year. But I'd rather not lose our house. Or add more interest to the mortgage by taking a payment break, thus setting up more financial problems for the future, with a growing child with needs. Plus any unforeseen problems that might arise in the house - anything really. That safety net is important.

You only have experience of ONE childcare experience, dont you? Let me guess, the client was really your friend and you got sick of her dumping her child on you. You want your opinions to carry weight, so you say you are a childminder/nanny/nursery worker? I can think of no other reason why you have such opinions. You seem to base your opinion of ONE particular case, and make sweeping statements insinuating that this is what working mothers are like.

I just cannot believe that a professional ofsted registered childminder, with qualifications could even think the way you do.

The whatever was to the poster whose name is whatever . I wasn't saying whatever.

Oh and small children say things like asking people they know and like if they want to be their mummy all the time. I wouldn't read too much into it. It doesn't mean that's what th really, genuinely want. It just means at that time they are enjoying being with you. That's so insulting to presume that it means a child would be happier without their parents.

My ds cries when he has to leave his granny's house. Doesn't means he genuinely wants to live there forever, he'd be lost without us! It just means - well - he's had fun at granny's...

Pp actually I don't move around alot nor do I do the same roles as I did in early twenties.

To the other poster. No she wasn't a friend. Nor was she my only childcare job lol.

Whats so hard to believe that I just think a child should be at home until at least one?

As for the issue or maternity leave and paying bills thats something you should of before you plan to have children. Questions to ask yourself and your partner.

Its not that long ago that women didnt have the option of 12 months maternity leave. Dd is 13 and I think I got 12 weeks full pay and maybe 8 weeks half pay? I had to go back to work when she was 5 months old as the money had run out. Kids back then survived.

Cat I didn't say she would prefer to be without parent. I took that to mean she wanted to be with parent more.

Retropear, for a CM (and presumably a working mother?) you are spectacularly clueless about the needs / wants / emotions of working parents! And express yourself with no empathy or kindness. I'm not surprised the OP is upset by you

As for myMIL well! Words fail me! But I'm with your MIL!

OP I think you've come to a decision you're happy with and I hope it all works spectacularly well for youand your DC. Congrats on your impending baby!

"As for the issue or maternity leave and paying bills thats something you should of before you plan to have children. "

So you really think only the rich should have children. Fair enough.
Maybe put some other restrictions in place while we are at it.
Only people who are educated to degree level, should be allowed to have children, eh?

So we're back to forced sterilisation for the poor then, are we vee? Only children allowed if you can afford to have One partner at home full time. And pay the bills. I think there would be a massive birth rate drop.

Oops! Sorry. Didn't realise there were loads of posts after theirs!

Most young children cry when their circumstances change, when they leave home, when they arrive at nursery/cm/grandparents/friends house, and they cry again when they leave to go home.

Veee - yes. So with you instead of her mum. As I say, don't read too much into it.

Whatever I couldn't care less what it suggests because I don't agree with a woman working unsociable hours and having her child in nursery and with a nanny and left with grandparents lol.
I wouldn't want my child calling somebody else mummy. Or saying can you be my mummy.

Why would the child call someone else "mummy"?!! Until recently a large proportion of children were in childcare or looked after by grandparents by the age of 4 to 6 months because people didn't get maternity leave for longer than that. Nobody saw it as a big issue and those children have grown up fine with no psychological damage. They even seem to know who their mummy is.

By the way, I was a SAHM so have no reason to be defensive. I just think you are talking absolute rubbish.