To think pregnant women shouldn't assume they have ultimate priority over seats on trains?

[sontaranstrax]

I was on a very crowded train long distance to meet DP at his parents' for the weekend this evening, all seats taken, standing room packed. About ten minutes in I was struggling to stand and managed to get one of the priority seats as someone was leaving the train. A few minutes later I was told by a heavily pregnant woman that she needed my seat as she needed to sit down, so I explained that I also needed to sit down for medical reasons and she would have to ask someone else. She proceeded to launch into an attack about how I looked perfectly healthy and she was in her third trimester and who did I think I was to deny her a seat when she needed one. Another pregnant woman in one of the other priority seats then piped up and both had a go at me, asking who I thought I was to not give up my seat and shouting abuse at me across the train, at which point everyone else in the carriage was giving me dirty looks (although not offering to give up their own seats) so I felt I didn't have much of a choice. I couldn't stand so ended up sitting on the floor leaning against the wall for the rest of the journey. AIBU to think pregnant women aren't the only people who need a seat on trains and have no right to turf someone else in need out of theirs?

And yes need she should have asked POLITELY. Just like the pregnant women should have. Upon finding out that OP was recovering from major surgery should have gone and found a fit and healthy commuter to yell abuse at.

Actually considering one of the bays is specifically for the use of Wheelchairs...

Precisely JellyandCake

I'm afraid you misunderstood me need. I was talking about the post in which you stated she should have politely asked. It is all in my reply.

tinker they all had a valid need but that space on buses is FOR wheelchairs and pram users can use it if and when it is not required by a wheelchair - it states that clearly on all buses. So the lady in the wheelchair should have got the space and unfortunately the mothers should have moved - it sucks when it's you, but as a pram user you have to expect it.

I didn't behave like this on public transport during any of my pregnancies nor have I encountered any pregnant people who have.

I have encountered two older 50ish/60ish women in apparent good health who picked on older men who weren't in good health - though not apparent till the stood - insisting on their seats and at one time I did offer my seat another time someone else go there first. In both cases it didn't really seem to be about the seat - as they weren't pleased someone else offered.

I think you were just very unlucky in that journey. That issue with public transport IME 90 % of time it fine or great other 10 % you encounter bloody muppets who make the journey or part of it a nightmare.

OP, if you had major abdominal surgery only five weeks ago with complication to top, do you have to travel by train or could you find a safer way of travelling. The is no way I would have travelled on a packed train 5 weeks after my section. I feel very sorry for you and wish you a speedy recovery.

However, I really feel strongly that in general this thread seems to be quite patronising / aggressive towards expecting mums. Having grown up in a middle eastern country, I find that thoroughly mind boggling. I guess, based on my upbringing I treat pregnant women like 'goddesses', always offer a seat, hold a door etc. or see if I can help. They carry a delicate growing babay inside them and deserve special status imo.

What if, just what if, the train would have had to break suddenly, she had fallen over and lost the baby? Or if she had fainted as the train was crowded, lack of oxygen and she would have fallen?

I hope that you don't have a grudge against pregnant women because of the type of surgery you had.

Disabled people have priority over prams and pregnant women. The two are not in the same category. The rules are that prams have to be folded to make room for people using wheelchairs - the bus driver was entirely wrong on the point of saying there was no room and driving off.

Personally, I never expected people to give up seats for me when I was pregnant although I didn't have any complicated pregnancies. But you just cannot compare pregnancy with a disability other than in exceptional circumstances. Disabled people have no choice about their condition.

That said, it certainly is true that you are more liable to fall over in pregnancy as your centre of balance is off.

No, nobody should be an arse I agree. But disabled people are discriminated against on a daily basis - perhaps this woman was sick of how invisible she seems to be?

Sometimes people in wheelchairs have to bellow through the window as its the only way they get heard