To think pregnant women shouldn't assume they have ultimate priority over seats on trains?

[sontaranstrax]

I was on a very crowded train long distance to meet DP at his parents' for the weekend this evening, all seats taken, standing room packed. About ten minutes in I was struggling to stand and managed to get one of the priority seats as someone was leaving the train. A few minutes later I was told by a heavily pregnant woman that she needed my seat as she needed to sit down, so I explained that I also needed to sit down for medical reasons and she would have to ask someone else. She proceeded to launch into an attack about how I looked perfectly healthy and she was in her third trimester and who did I think I was to deny her a seat when she needed one. Another pregnant woman in one of the other priority seats then piped up and both had a go at me, asking who I thought I was to not give up my seat and shouting abuse at me across the train, at which point everyone else in the carriage was giving me dirty looks (although not offering to give up their own seats) so I felt I didn't have much of a choice. I couldn't stand so ended up sitting on the floor leaning against the wall for the rest of the journey. AIBU to think pregnant women aren't the only people who need a seat on trains and have no right to turf someone else in need out of theirs?

tinker I assume you RTFT? OP DID tell the women she was Ill/recovering from Major Abdo Surgery.

tinker she did say she was ill but wasn't belived
"Disabled, elderly, pregnant is you see some one struggling just fucking offer your seat "

Completely agree with this.

I was on a bus the other day where there was 3 prams with small babies on at a later stop a woman was waiting with an electric wheel chair. The bus driver said she couldn't get on as there was no room. She wanted two ladies with their prams to get off so she could get on, she was shouting at them through the window. He said no and drove on. He made the right choice.

I feel animosity towards anyone who insists that they are a poor precious flower who needs to be taken care of by the entire world simply because they are pregnant, not pregnant women in general. Pregnancy is a normal part of life, and is never risk free. Most pregnant women behave perfectly normally.

The problem is that a small minority of women do seem to think that being pregnant makes them more important than anyone else. And for an even smaller minority that translates into interrogating vulnerable people on trains about whether they need the seat and then berating them for not being as important as them.

'Miss' so you would expect two ladies with two babies to get off? By the way one of the three had a toddler so which one would you have picked?

And I did read the thread. The sentence continued.

Oh and and I have a three toddlers, two are twins and my oldest DS has SN.
I still wouldn't be as scummy as to wep as how the person in the wheelchair should wait CAUSE MY LIFE IS LIKE, SO HARD!!!11!!!

"She shouldn't have been demanding that they get off". What? Just like the pregnant women on the train shouldn't have been demanding that the lady recovering from Major Surgery should shift?

I absolutely agree that the majority of women are fine through pregnancy.

Also not all elderly need a seat , my DGM is 81 very active and will give her seat up for people she thinks need it - I think it makes her feel younger. Bless her.

I think it could have been delt with a bit better than the righteous outrage from the OP.

When asked I would have replied " I've just had hysto, so I need it myself but let's see if we can get one of this lot to budge"

Whats wrong with women helping each other?

Special

But Tinker you're contradicting yourself, she did say she'd had serious surgery. She was bullied anyway by two unfortunately pregnant terrible people.

"Righteous outrage from OP". seriously?!

Tinker as a pregnant, non-driving mother of a toddler who is utterly reliant on public transport to get anywhere - the bus driver was wrong. It clearly states on buses that if a wheelchair user wants to get on, anyone in that space must give it up. It's inconvenient to be the pram user in that situation but not as inconvenient as being disabled (in a society which is not especially accommodating) must be. Since becoming a mother I have developed an appreciation of how hard it must be to be a wheelchair user, based on how difficult it can be to get a pram around. At least I only have a few years of doing that rather than a lifetime!

But she DID say that tinker and still got haranged into moving!

I had crap pregnancies and could hardly stand for part if them.

I think you were both entitled to a seat. You should have just told her you'd had an operation and then she should have asked someone else to move.

And yes I would expect two ladies with buggies to get off. Why? Because in many Cities that is actually the public transports Policy. Many a time in Lincoln when visiting my Dad I have had to do just that when a wheelchair got on. Here. If they can't get on they radio through and keep the bays empty.

Oh, if it makes my opinion somehow more 'worthy,' I had a horrific pregnancy with my DTs.

I didn't choose to scream and abuse one stranger on a train. If I needed a street, I asked around. Someone was always shamed. Go up to a group of selfish teenagers ignoring each other as they're on various devices? They nearly choke

I did bloody read it!

Lots of women have great pregnancies and wouldn't have needed a seat. Others women have serious complex painful pregnancies or very sick exhausting pregnancies. Some spend months in hospital with various pregnancy complications.

And to clarify - my pregnant self plus buggy would have got off that bus in that situation, wherever I was going!

I do really appreciate a seat, I am tired and have been ill throughout this pregnancy (19 weeks now). However, I accept that some people need a seat more and there is no excuse for rudeness. The other people in the OP's carriage were the most unreasonable though and the pregnant woman should have got a seat, despite being objectionable. It just shouldn't have been the OP who had to move.

Seat not street Toddlers make you more exhausted than any pregnancy.

And knowing the wheelchair user she probably did ask politely and got ignored. Drivers can't make you get off its at their discretion and most probably wouldn't because they know what abuse they would get.

Hysterical much spesh ?

I wasnt one of the ladies with prams. Who is any one to choose over a shouting lady in an electric wheel chair or three ladies with new babies and a toddler in tow?

Do you think the bus driver would have got out of his cabin and played iney meany miny mo?

Any one of those women could have had a valid reason of needing to be on that bus.