Excluded from school nativity

[scoobysnac]

I have just been advised by my sons teacher that he not be participating in the school nativity play due to his attention issues. He will be 3 in January. He has been in 2 other productions at a previous nursery and he was extremely attentive and performed well.

They have said he can come and watch but I don't think it's fair for home to do that in the circumstances. I have discussed this with friends and I laws and they are all really shocked that the nursery would do this.

I was extremely upset earlier today but now I'm just angry that the nursery would put their production above a child's happiness. Rather ironic that it's a nativity and they are acting extremely unchristian.

It's not like he was auditioning for a part and did not win. That would be explainable to an older child but he's 2 years old and will feel left out if all his friends are taking part.

I did post this on another thread and receive pd some very scathing remarks inferring my vanity has been hurt. This is not the case. I just don't feel it's acceptable to exclude a 2 year of for lack of concentration.

Am I being unreasonable to demand they give him a part especially in view of the expensive fees they charge.

If you want the 'cute' picture then dress him up and take a photo.

He really won't be unhappy unless you make him feel unhappy!

I think it's the fact they are excluding him as a result of his entirely normal 2 y o behaviour that bothers me. If it was a case of only the older ones getting to do the play then that would be fine.

Good grief! Normal 2yr olds don't belong in nativity plays - I would question whether normal 3 yr old do either. I wouldn't do one with that age, whatever are they going to get out of it?

A 2yr old couldn't care less, unless the parent makes it a huge issue.

Could someone explain the value to a toddler of being in a play they don't understand?

Update:

the school/nursery newsletter has come around and it states ' the younger children will all take part during the first half, singing and dancing and the older children will perform the nativity after the interval'....... Well not all children.

Spoke to the ht this morning she was oblivious to the fact that as a parent I would be incensed that my child was excluded. She kept muttering 'not excluded- he's just not ready'

Think I might offer up my 9 month as baby Jesus then they will really see a child of mine which will f**k it up for them!!!!!

How are they defining 'yoinger' and 'older' and are they applying the same rules to all the children in the nursery?

Satin sandals I entirely appreciate what your saying here but your missing the point. I could not give a flying pigs ar*e whether my son was a star, moon or a big fat steaming poo from Mary and Joseph's donkey. I am not interested in getting that all important photo. My son is being excluded from taking part because of attention issues which most 2 year olds have unless they are from the stepford wives which is what it seems the nursery want. They ht reasons are divisive and I am slightly concerned about a nursery that thinks that a child that is active has problems.

You cannot simply think that a 2 year old is not going to be aware they are being excluded. He is going to want to know what he's done. Which is nothing.

Plenty of nurseries do do Nativity plays with 2 year olds. DD1 was only 2.5 when she did her first one, she was a 'star' and sang along like a trooper- they all had a chance to go up on stage as a group to do their song. OK, it's a bit like a mixture of moving an army and herding cats with 2-4 year olds. I really admired how they organised the kids. Some kids don't like performing or are overwhelmed and go and sit on their parents' knees- but the thing is it doesn't matter if they do, you expect it to be somewhat chaotic.

I only did one Nativity play in reception class, when I was 5 - and stood there as one of two angels, picking my nose...TBH I'm a bit Nativitied out as DD1 did it twice in nursery then in R, 1 and 2. DD2 has done it twice at nursery and is now in year R - so just the three more to go. But that's beside the point.

Bloody hell what did you say to her mutterings of he's not ready. I hope you told her! I would look or another nursery.

I wouldn't want a nursery that were doing nativity plays with toddlers.
Could someone tell me what value is there in it for a two year old?
I also think that if he parent explains it in a sensible manner they will not be aware of anything.

Satin, I would imagine that most preschools do some for of nativity or Christmas concert, most 3 year olds enjoying singing and dressing up,and stories, which is what most nativities consist of.

Ds is going to be part of his Preschools Christmas concert, despite the fact that he won't understand some of what is happening. If preschool said that he couldn't be involved because he wasn't ready (ie he can't speak,has delayed understanding and will struggle to stay put!) I would be cross. It sends the wrong message to all the children - everyone has strengths and everyone deserves to take part.

My DSes were all involved in nativity plays at nursery at 2 years old. I am really surprised people think this is unusual.

Bowlers - or that there's something wrong with it

Could someone tell me what value is there in it for a two year old?

DD1 still remembers all her plays fondly, including the one she did at 2.5. She also seemed to really enjoy herself at the time. The value of it is that it is a fun and learning experience.

I count preschool as 3yr olds. I still don't think that they need a nativity until they are at least 4 yrs.
I would still like to know the value of it for a 2 yr old? You can sing, dance and dress up in the session, if they choose to, and have fun without having to get the poor little things to keep still and have a prescribed order they don't understand. I am sure that more are upset by being on a stage in front of everyone than those upset because they can't be. Give them a choice of going off to free play or being organised on stage and I bet most would opt to go off and play. Mine were all in one at 3yrs and they didn't enjoy it. DC1 refused to join in the songs, DC2 looked bewildered and DC 3 sat in the audience on his grandfather's knee .

Agree heartbroken, why would it be wrong?

Mind you, it got a bit tedious after a while - the nursery put exactly to same nativity play on year after year-with three DSes each there for two years, we saw the same thing, different children, for six consecutive years. Lovely but a bit zzzzzzzzzzz.......after a while.

Mine have no memory at all, and they didn't enjoy it at the time!

At least OP got her way with the second thread- there was just common sense on the first one. However it maybe because she worded it differently and didn't mention 'psychological ramifications' of being 'excluded' on this one!
It is rather strange that you get AIBU and everyone says YABU so OP starts a other one and gets YANBU! (Something for other posters to note if things don't go their way!)

Yeah, what is the point of doing anything with them at that age, they won't remember it?

Satin the op's ds is 3 in January, so nearly 3.

I have been helping the children learn songs for their nativity at ds's preschool, the ages range from 2.6 - nearly 4. There are 4 children who have developmental delays. They are all enjoying learning the song, and playing instruments. I'm sure 1 or 2 children will be cuddled on a lap or wandering around, but it is a group effort, it is lovely that everyone is involved.

I suggest that people read the first thread, it was much more sensible. He is little more than a baby, he really won't care!

Yeah what is the point of doing anything with them at that age, they won't remember it

What is the point of doing something with them they won't enjoy? It is just photos for the parents imv.Better go to the park.

I can't think of any value of putting a very young child on the stage when he hasn't a clue what it is about and won't want to keep still. Does he know the words to any of the songs? Will he stand there and sing them if he does? If they give him a line to say will he manage it? Will be think it fun? And if so why?

Where is the first thread satin?