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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take them with me?

470 replies

Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 10:29

So my husband is away at the moment, he 'doesn't know' if he will be back tonight.
I've had to mess work around already this week and I dont think they could cope with me missing my shift tonight :(

My calls are in an incredibly rural location and its really safe round here.
WIBU to take the children? Make a little 'nest' in the back of the car and give them their bottles and put them down to bed in the large boot of our people carrier?

I could dress them up warm and I would only be out for around 2hours with them, checking back regularly and driving inbetween calls every half an hour or so?

I dont know what else to do!

OP posts:
loveandsmiles · 20/11/2013 10:46

Horrified you would consider taking a 1 and 3 year old out at night, in a car, not strapped in and leave them ~ is this a joke?! No matter how desperate you are, please don't consider this, not even sure if this would be legal.

YABVU

NicknameIncomplete · 20/11/2013 10:47

Oh what an awful situation for you. I am a single parent so i know what it is like when u have to work and have no one to look after ur children. Getting a babysitter isnt easy.

I dont think i would leave them in the car. I dont think i would be able to concentrate fully on what i was meant to be doing.

bebopanddoowop · 20/11/2013 10:50

Put your children in the car boot? Either I've misunderstood or this has gotta be a joke...

TotallyUprobably · 20/11/2013 10:50

Are there any childminders or nurseries in the area? If you phoned up and explained the situation they might know someone or there might be a member of staff who'd be happy to do it (with pay) as a one off?

Guitargirl · 20/11/2013 10:50

Oh dear, please read your OP again and think about how ridiculous it sounds. Is there a reason why this is only coming up on the morning that you need to work? Was your husband planning on coming back in time before you go to work and now he isn't or something?

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 10:50

The problem is that I am a home carer and they have had three carers go off sick already this week.

I am just so fucking stressed out I dont know what to do.

OP posts:
TantrumsAndBalloons · 20/11/2013 10:50

So you are going to be gone for 30 minutes at a time?

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 10:51

I've asked at my sons nursery and there is only someone there who can work until 6.30pm

so thats not really much good to me.

OP posts:
Ursula8 · 20/11/2013 10:51

And what of the car is stolen? Are you mad?

If you do not have regular childcare because of DH job then you can't work can you? Get a sitter or stay home.

ExcuseTypos · 20/11/2013 10:51

I agree with everyone else, don not do this.

I also think that if your bosses found out what you were doing, they would think you couldn't possibly have had your full mind on your work and you would probably get the sack.

It isn't worth it, which ever angle you look at it from.

Thumbwitch · 20/11/2013 10:52

Amazing how things change in a few decades, isn't it. When we were children, ~40 years ago, what you're proposing would have been quite normal. I'm not saying it's a good thing, just how amazing it is that people's attitudes have changed so much in a relatively short time.

These days? I wouldn't drive with them out of their car seats, even for a short time/distance. They should be able to sleep in their car seats. However, I wouldn't want to leave them unattended for very long either - can you park on people's driveways? Are you doing meals on wheels, or district nurse type stuff? Just wondering if you're sure that each house call would only be half an hour.

Your DH is a PITA, by the way.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 20/11/2013 10:52

I think they are too little to be left in the car, because they wouldn't be capable of getting out of the car or getting help if anything went wrong. Sorry.

Have you told your husband that if you don't work tonight you will lose your job, and as a result you will be leaving the children in the house at 6.30 and expect him to be there to look after them?

MrsOakenshield · 20/11/2013 10:53

'doesn't know'? Sod that, he needs to know and he needs to know that he's back at home for you to leave for work at 6.30. End of conversation.

I really don't think you can leave them in the car not strapped in; equally, I wouldn't be happy leaving them with a sitter I had never used before and wasn't known at someone. If you can't get a friend to babysit (and I totally understand that you can't) then could any of them recommend a sitter? Anyone got DC at nursery - staff at DD's nursery will do evening babysitting.

Hope you manage to get it sorted - I would be having very strong words with DH!

TotallyUprobably · 20/11/2013 10:53

No other nurseries or childminders? Are the clients you care for the sort that you could take your children in with you (even if you have to leave them asleep in a corner)?

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 10:54

Yes all the parking is on driveways.

I remember coming back from Liverpool in the boot of the car when I was a kid (not helpful I know just remembering)

I am doing homecare stuff so going on, putting someone into nightclothes and into bed type stuff.

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 20/11/2013 10:55

Sorry, got distracted - I still don't think it's a good idea to do it at all, but then neither is losing your job - you have to phone them really and tell them that you are stuck, even though you've "messed them around" already this week, you HAVE to let them know in case they can get someone else to do your shift.

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 10:55

I really am not comfortable phoning strangers and asking them to babysit :( :(

OP posts:
SlightlyDampWellies · 20/11/2013 10:56

Geckos you are clearly so stressed you are not thinking straight. Your idea is mad and wrong, seriously.

Your DH needs to get home if you have to go to work. I am seriously horrified you are even considering it.

Can you not drag the kids into each home in their car seats and plonk them somewhere in each house? Not ideal I know, but a million times better than what you are suggesting.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 20/11/2013 10:56

Ypur dh is being a dick.

You are prioritising your job over your childrens safety.

Parental leave is something we all have to use once in a while but we do it because we have to. You have to too

Eastwickwitch · 20/11/2013 10:56

Are there any local teenage neighbours that could sit with you DCs for an hour or two in exchange for a few quid?

Thumbwitch · 20/11/2013 10:57

So, difficult to keep popping out and checking on them in the car then. I wouldn't leave mine asleep in the car for more than 5 mins without checking - even that's too long if they wake up while I'm not there, IMO - but you won't be able to do that and do your job effectively.

Why exactly is your DH being such a knob about getting home?

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 10:58

Why would taking them out into the cold once every half an hour be 'better' than leaving them in the car?

No, if i am doing it, they are staying asleep in the warm car not going into houses.

FUCK I dont know what to do. Work are going to be so fucking pissed off with me.

OP posts:
RevengeWiggle · 20/11/2013 10:58

Nursery staff will be safe to look after your DC, or can your friends reccomend a babysitter that they use so it's not a complete stranger?

Ledkr · 20/11/2013 10:59

No yo cannot do that! What if they let themselves out!
I do appreciate the nightmare as dh is a copper and us always late back etc but I wouldn't go to work if it meSnt leaving them.

Guitargirl · 20/11/2013 10:59

Is the one year old in a carrying type of car seat? You could carry that into the house with you? Your 3 year old keep busy with a sticker book or something? Not ideal I know and am not sure you wouldn't get into trouble with your employers if they knew you had taken your children with you into the house (risk assessments, insurance etc.) but if there is no other option? Please don't leave them in the car, apart from anything else what if they panicked and got scared. It will be dark and a remote area.