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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take them with me?

470 replies

Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 10:29

So my husband is away at the moment, he 'doesn't know' if he will be back tonight.
I've had to mess work around already this week and I dont think they could cope with me missing my shift tonight :(

My calls are in an incredibly rural location and its really safe round here.
WIBU to take the children? Make a little 'nest' in the back of the car and give them their bottles and put them down to bed in the large boot of our people carrier?

I could dress them up warm and I would only be out for around 2hours with them, checking back regularly and driving inbetween calls every half an hour or so?

I dont know what else to do!

OP posts:
Idespair · 20/11/2013 20:11

Gecko I'm gad you have it sorted, but I just want to point out (not sure if pointed out already) that it is illegal to drive with kids of that age not in car seats. I think !

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 20:13

This thread is nothing to do with the McCanns, there is a whole world between leaving your kids for 5 minutes in a car and leaving your kids in an apartment for hours.

OP posts:
TeaAndSconesTwice · 20/11/2013 20:13

Chasedbybees the op has also stated her car is parked at the bottom of a hill!

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 20:14

We live on a very quiet little lane with no through road.

If one of the neighbours saw the kids in the car they would just come and let me know, mind you they do the same thing (shock horror) so its no big deal.

The only time it is a problem is when they are not dressed appropriately for the weather or it is too hot.

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 20/11/2013 20:15

It is illegal.

I don't believe you've only left them for 5 mins. If you left them sleeping that would be longer than 5 mins. You said you drive between appointments every 30 mins or so so I'm assuming the home care appointments are significantly longer than 5 mins. In the past, you've taken your sick children with D&V and left them in the car then (and a risk of DC choking on vomit and a risk of you passing on D&V to someone vulnerable, nice.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 20/11/2013 20:16

there is a whole world between leaving your kids for 5 minutes in a car and leaving your kids in an apartment for hours

But it only takes 5 minutes to commit a crime Geckos, stop minimising!

ChasedByBees · 20/11/2013 20:19

You do have deliveries etc I take it? There will be other people coming up the street. But hey, you know other neglectful people, so it's ok.

There is not a while world between what you do and what the mccanns did. Not at all.

You want to be a social worker. Still can't quite get over that.

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 20:19

People are just not reading the thread and taking what they want from it (bizarrely)

As I've said, I've only taken my kids on quick calls when I have not had a choice, to drop off shopping or whatever.

Tonight was a massive exception and I dealt with it by not going to work.

Not much more I can say really, people can take from that what they will.

If you honestly believe there is no difference between leaving a screaming child in a hotel room next to the Strait of Gibraltar and leaving a child in a car in an incredibly rural area while they have a sleep/you pop out and do something then you have a very different idea of risk assessment to me. It makes neither of us bad parents.

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 20/11/2013 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeaAndSconesTwice · 20/11/2013 20:25

Yes I am reading your thread, I also know that no care call takes 5 minutes, I have been a carer, supervisor, care coordinator & a deputy manager for a care company, what you are saying is untrue.

You know leaving your children in a car while you do you calls is unacceptable.

You still haven't answered what you would do if there was an emergency and someone had died, your call would no longer be "5 minutes" then it could turn into an hour or more, with ambulances, doctors, family or social workers turning up.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/11/2013 20:26

Machynlleth was a teribly rural quiet place and look what happened there.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/11/2013 20:27

Actually why am I responding to someone who is on one ling shit stir....
((turns on masterchef))

YouStayClassySanDiego · 20/11/2013 20:27

*Which leads me to believe this thread is just another wind up.

MrsDeVere, i think the same way.

TeaAndSconesTwice · 20/11/2013 20:28

Let's be honest no one in there right mind would suggest putting there kids in the boot of a car, it's shocking, they are children not fucking animals, your attitude towards your children and there care is something to be questioned.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/11/2013 20:28

Hear hear MrsDevere

YouStayClassySanDiego · 20/11/2013 20:28

Ooh Masterchef!!

TeaAndSconesTwice · 20/11/2013 20:29

Yes masterchef sounds good hobnob

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/11/2013 20:30

oh and that length of time for babies that small on an evening like tonight would put them at risk of hypkthermia
if any of this was true

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 20/11/2013 20:34

Leaving your children alone is leaving your children alone. regardless if its 5 minutes or 5 hours. the strait of Gibralta or the fucking everglades.

Leaving them is leaving them.

TeaAndSconesTwice · 20/11/2013 20:36

Supervisors do spot checks, they sit and wait for you to arrive they then follow you into the call, sometimes they do spot checks from a far and watch what time you go in & come out, I'm not sure you would still have a job if they saw you had your children with you, let alone leaving them in the car.

So not only are you putting your children at risk but your job as well, but hey ho you know best.

intitgrand · 20/11/2013 20:47

How long have you worked there? The law is on your side.You are allowed unpaid time off if your childcare arrangements fall through.If they discipline you for this they could well be on dodgy ground re sex discrimination and that is from day 1 of your employment.Go onto CRB or ACAS websites and read up on your rights before tomorrows meeting

But you absolutely cannot take your kids to work with you in teh car day or night.It really is not on.

LtEveDallas · 20/11/2013 21:08

Would you leave £25,000 in £20 notes, unattended on the front seat of your car?

No?

Are your kids worth less than that?

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 21:32

I had my meeting today, work were fine about it, I just went out and did two calls which helped them out a bit and they gave the rest of my shift to someone else.

OP posts:
Optimist1 · 20/11/2013 21:48

" its okay for children to realise at certain points that life does not revolve around them and they have to fit in with other peoples plans from time to time "

" I think its probably quite healthy for children to get distressed and then realise that you always come back actually. "

Beyond belief! And these comments from someone who's in a caring role? Planning to be a social worker? Time for a career re-think, OP.

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 21:59

I am in a caring role, I am very good at my job!

I enjoy working with people, I very much enjoy my job and my company are so fully supportive of my career choice, as are my service users.

Thing is, you dont need social workers who think that life is black and white and can't understand the realities of how fucking hard it can be sometimes and that people contemplate/do stupid things without being bad people.

You need the very opposite of that.

OP posts:
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