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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take them with me?

470 replies

Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 10:29

So my husband is away at the moment, he 'doesn't know' if he will be back tonight.
I've had to mess work around already this week and I dont think they could cope with me missing my shift tonight :(

My calls are in an incredibly rural location and its really safe round here.
WIBU to take the children? Make a little 'nest' in the back of the car and give them their bottles and put them down to bed in the large boot of our people carrier?

I could dress them up warm and I would only be out for around 2hours with them, checking back regularly and driving inbetween calls every half an hour or so?

I dont know what else to do!

OP posts:
Golddigger · 20/11/2013 18:13

You seem to me to be very bright and articulate in how you write.

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 18:15

I've never taken them on calls at night. Or for calls that are more than 5/10 minutes.

as I said no different to popping into the shop for milk/bread

I really dont see the risk of leaving them in the car for five minutes

I also let them play in the garden while I am cleaning the kitchen and listen out for them if they need me

and I go down to the car at the bottom of the hill and get stuff while they are in the house. I dont see anything wrong with it. They are pretty careful kids and haven't come to any harm.

OP posts:
ptpan · 20/11/2013 18:16

And by reporting I mean to your employer and to whoever you were training to be a social worker with.
As a social worker you would think that's acceptable?

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 18:17

You do a social work degree to train to be a social worker.

Again, leaving the children in the car to get milk/bread/petrol is not neglect, nor is it illegal.

OP posts:
YouStayClassySanDiego · 20/11/2013 18:20

They are pretty careful kids and haven't come to any harm

They're a baby and toddler aren't they? they have no concept of danger .

You do know that don't you?

bababababoom · 20/11/2013 18:21

*You do a social work degree to train to be a social worker.

Again, leaving the children in the car to get milk/bread/petrol is not neglect, nor is it illegal*

Yes, we know how you train.

The government definition of neglect includes "leaving pre-school aged children without supervision"

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 18:21

He is back :( Hasn't spoken to me.

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 20/11/2013 18:24

I don't agree with you about leaving the children in the car, but I am very sorry to hear that your dh is being an asshole and your marriage might actually be in serious trouble - you sounded stressed enough already

Think people should lay off with the insults, you've made your point.

ihatethecold · 20/11/2013 18:41

It's Worrying that you want to become a social worker!

Goldmandra · 20/11/2013 18:45

You use a bunch of strangers on the internet to moderate and validate your parenting decisions yet you want to be a social worker?

RevengeWiggle · 20/11/2013 18:47

Everyone's just repeating themselves now. I don't think the OP is going to change her opinion, which is a shame, so what's the point in dragging out a fight.

Captainbarnacles1101 · 20/11/2013 18:53

Stress? OP you asked for the opinions. urbvvvvu. they cannot be driven anywhere in the boot of a car! esp at night in the dark. Its freezing apart from anything else. Accidents happen on private roads tooo..

There r so many things wrong with this idea I don't know where to start!

EmmelineGoulden · 20/11/2013 19:00

Glad you did what you needed to to get the courage to call work OP. Hope you find the strength you need to to deal with your husband one way or another.

Also glad you're training to be a social worker. Bringing a realistic perspective to risk assessment and an understanding of the stresses some parents are under to work and look after kids will stand you and your clients in good stead.

MrsDeVere · 20/11/2013 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/11/2013 19:16

McScams god you get viler by the thread.

monkeynuts123 · 20/11/2013 19:18

I'm sorry have I misunderstood? Put your babies to sleep in the boot of your car at night while you are at work? Ummm what do you think?

TeaAndSconesTwice · 20/11/2013 19:26

Op it's not just about popping into the garage though is it, where you say you can see your children from the window, you stated you have taken your 1 & 3 year old with you to work in the day time & left them in the car eating a biscuit while you go and do a call, do you really think this is acceptable?

If I'm honest I'm quite shocked ...

TeaAndSconesTwice · 20/11/2013 19:30

Have you thought about what you would do if you went into 1 of your calls and your client might of had an accident, fallen over etc? These things happen in care....
Then what would you do? You wouldn't be able to take your children into your clients house as this is not allowed, your not allowed to take anyone to your calls at all.

You may have to call & wait for an ambulance ir a gp.

Day or night you shouldn't be taking your children to work.

I understand it's sometimes May be difficult but you should be honest with your employers instead of putting people at risk.

Shonajoy · 20/11/2013 19:42

I just remembering the recent thread where a toddler was left in a car sleeping and a parent said something- the woman got told on this same forum she shouldn't have and it was only 17 minutes!

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 19:48

I've never left them in the car at a call for more than a couple of minutes, 5 at the most, dropping shopping off, something like that.

But yes I was considering taking them out with me tonight and decided against it.

OP posts:
thebody · 20/11/2013 20:02

nutty idea.

why do you call the McCanns the McScams?

sorry your dh is being such a knob.

BlingBang · 20/11/2013 20:04

Please don't start Gecko on the MCCanns - it's not pretty.

Sirzy · 20/11/2013 20:06

Very good point teaandscones - the OP seems to think leaving her children in the car while she works is acceptable, but what would happen if one of your clients was ill/found dead upon arrival?

I am amazed any employer allows the children to tag along even if just sat in the car for just that reason

ChasedByBees · 20/11/2013 20:08

I also leave them asleep in the car when i get home and they are in the car. we dont have a driveway (shock horror)

You're asking what is the worst that can happen and since you don't consider any risk to your children to be worth considering, how about this?

If I saw your children asleep in the car on the road on more than one occasion (I'd knock on the door the first time in case you'd forgotten somehow) I would call social services and report you for neglect.

I cannot believe you are considering a job as a social worker. You have the most ridiculously skewed approach to risk management I've ever read on here. That you would seriously -SERIOUSLY - consider putting your children to sleep in your boot whilst dismissing recommended babysitters or taking them into a house with you as bad options is just crazy.

It's fairly heinous that you think a child getting distressed and then realising their parent will come back is an ok thing.

If you collapsed in a shop, you do realise that people might not see your children in the car and you might not be able to tell them don't you? How can that be more of a risk than they might touch some shelves? WTAF?

TeaAndSconesTwice · 20/11/2013 20:11

Dropping shopping off doesn't consist of a few minutes, people who have carers don't expect you to just run in dump the shopping & run out, you would go in communicate/have a chat, put shopping away then document your time of arrival, your task & the time you leave, the smallest calls from care agencies are 15 minutes long, other people can't & don't take there children to work in most places.

Ok you go to a client open the door & god forbid the person has died, then what? Or you go in and are doing your call & a social worker or a family member of the client arrives, then what? They would not be happy to see your children sitting in your car while you carry out your care.

I think your risking a lot.

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