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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take them with me?

470 replies

Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 10:29

So my husband is away at the moment, he 'doesn't know' if he will be back tonight.
I've had to mess work around already this week and I dont think they could cope with me missing my shift tonight :(

My calls are in an incredibly rural location and its really safe round here.
WIBU to take the children? Make a little 'nest' in the back of the car and give them their bottles and put them down to bed in the large boot of our people carrier?

I could dress them up warm and I would only be out for around 2hours with them, checking back regularly and driving inbetween calls every half an hour or so?

I dont know what else to do!

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 20/11/2013 17:48

I don't know why you're still arguing.

Most posters thought that your original proposition was dreadful. You backed down and changed plans.

Good.

You then talk about other things you do that most posters think are dreadful. You are standing by them and you're not going to change.

Pointless now.

Fairy1303 · 20/11/2013 17:48

P.s - I mean that about taken them out and leaving them at night, not about leaving them to get petrol.

Golddigger · 20/11/2013 17:49

Geckos48 has been playing word games on threads she starts on mumsnet for several months now.

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 17:51

But I DIDN'T leave them at night! This is the thing! I didn't do it, I contemplated it, decided that it was stupid and DIDN'T do it!

How does that make me a bad person?

The going into the shop thing is a separate issue and to be honest, I never see anyone carting their kids around petrol stations so I can only assume that it is only on mumsnet where people who never ever do such things live.

OP posts:
TeaAndSconesTwice · 20/11/2013 17:51

Oh you've seen other people do it, that's ok then, that makes it's ok to do.....

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 17:52

No, the risk assessment and obvious absurdity of taking two children into a shop to pay for petrol makes it okay.

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 20/11/2013 17:52

I have seen in other threads that you are studying to be a SW.

I really hope that's part of the game playing and not the truth. I certainly wouldn't want the OP as my social worker!

Fairy1303 · 20/11/2013 17:53

I didn't say you were a bad person...

Sirzy · 20/11/2013 17:55

Nipping into a petrol station to pay for fuel (therefore quick and at the front of the shop) is different from going into a shop (petrol station or not) to do shopping whereby you can't see the car/children at all times.

Leaving children in the car while you go to work putting someone else's shopping away is wrong on so many levels though!

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 17:56

I am studying to be a social worker, that is not going to change.

I was worried that a girl on my course feels that it is 'cruel' to neuter her cat and dog and has had at least 8 litters from each of them. I wondered about her ability to be a social worker

I was worried that a woman on my course thought that routine infant circumcision was a necessary thing and was quite prepared to do it to her own children was going to become a social worker.

But actually it is not up to me who becomes a social worker, its a job that requires a professional mindset and that should never be altered by personal opinions.

My job requires that anyway, I have to go and give equal care and support to people regardless of their backgrounds and their situations and I do. I do my job very well and the people I work with and the people I work for feel I would make a very good social worker, that means a lot more than people on a screen deciding something about me based on not a lot.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 20/11/2013 17:57

McScams? NiceHmm

intothenever · 20/11/2013 17:57
  1. No you cannot do this.
  1. Your husband is a massive fuckwit to put you in this position and needs a kick up the arse.
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 20/11/2013 17:58

Geckos - I leave my kids in the car to pay for petrol - it's silly to do anything else. I have also parked in front of the local shop to pop in for a pint of milk and a loaf of bread and left them in the car. They are in their car seats and I lock them in and turn off the alarm and I can't see any harm in that. I wouldn't leave them if its hot but apart from that it's not a serious thing to do.

Your original suggestion was not a good idea (as you now accept) but some people are getting hysterical on this thread.

coldwater1 · 20/11/2013 17:58

I don't even leave my kids in the car to run into a shop in broad daylight. It would never cross my mind to leave my babies asleep or awake in the car at night while i went into peoples homes to do my job.

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 17:59

My husband is a PITA and I am really angry with him, not just for doing this but for putting his hands up and not realising how fucking seriously in the shit he has put me.

To be honest I dont know if he will be my husband for much longer (not just because of this but because of other things)

OP posts:
Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 18:00

Ghost I completely agree with your post

it was a fucking stupid idea and I would never do it.

OP posts:
YouStayClassySanDiego · 20/11/2013 18:00

Geckos, would you consider yourself an attention seeker?

I ask as I get the impression from the OP's you start and the way you respond that you relish a bit of a dust up over the course of a thread.

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 18:02

If you are asking me if I made this up then no I didn't. I';m really stressed out, I struggle with validation at the best of times and I was wondering what the hell to do.

I start a number of threads, understandably its only the ones that go to 6+ pages that people see or notice.

The rest are just general innocuous threads and posts.

i am glad I posted though because it stopped me doing something stupid and gave me the courage to phone work.

OP posts:
YouStayClassySanDiego · 20/11/2013 18:03

You called them the McScams

Yes, looking for another goady thread aren't you?

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 18:04

No you I was looking for advice on the situation I posted and I got it.

This thread is not about the McCanns, I wont be answering any more posts in relation to them.

OP posts:
YouStayClassySanDiego · 20/11/2013 18:09

No it's not about the McCanns, couldn't resist the dig about them though, could you? or recognise the similarities you share in the thought process of 'what could possibly happen'

Chippednailvarnish · 20/11/2013 18:11

The fact a trainee social worker needs to go on the internet to ask if driving around with her kids in the boot and leaving them alone is OK is just astonishing.

Original poster
Geckos48 · 20/11/2013 18:11

I didnt bring up the McCanns.

Again, I am not talking about it. There are no similarities as I pointed out up-thread.

OP posts:
bababababoom · 20/11/2013 18:12

geckos, I did feel sorry for you but quite frankly I'm horrified by your attitude.

I have three children under 5. They are never left in a car. I'm not sure in what way you think it's not possible to take them shopping. My three all hold onto the basket or trolley. A three year old is totally capable of doing that (seeing as my nineteen month old can) - and trotting off to get things off the shelves for you.

To get them out of the car safely - you would get the baby out first, then hold your other child's hand as they get out of the car.

what could happen to them in a parked car?

Well, they could undo their car seat harness.

Another car could hit yours. Perhaps while they are not strapped in.

They could choke.

They could be sick. And choke.

They could undo the handbrake.

If the doors are unlocked, they could get out of the car.

They could be terrified.

Any stranger could approach them.

The car could be stolen.

Would you leave them at home alone? What's the difference? that they are strapped in? Would you leave them in a cot or play pen at home?

You're training to be a Social Worker? Why don't you try asking your child protection tutor or mentor what they think about this hypothetical situation?

ptpan · 20/11/2013 18:12

So OP you have spent 8 hours arguing on a thread trying to justify some pretty questionable parenting,whilst calling the McCanns the McScams!
This has to be one of the oddest threads I have ever read-I realise you aren't dragging your kids out now but the fact you even questioned it is unbeleivable.
And I agree with the pp who thought this kind of thing probably happens more than you are willing to admit.
And you are training to be a social worker???!!
I would report you in a second if I was your employer/neighbour/person receiving care if I discovered you carting your children round at night leaving them asleep in your car even for 5 minutes.