to think that this article is just another way to sneer at sahms? Motherism?

[usuallyright]

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/18/sorry-but-being-a-mother-is-not-the-most-important-job-in-the-world

Whilst I agree with some of it, I don't like the sneery tone. There are many similar articles around at the moment about Mothers who choose to stay at home.
Imagine if someone wrote a similar article about working Mothers.
It's just another excuse to pour scorn on Mothers and their choices, which are often complex decisions, not a knee jerk decision to be a martyr..

I agree- its not about WOHM/ SAHM at all, but the OP made that leap and the thread continued from there

I disagree. It's definitely a sly swipe at sahp's. Hundreds of Guardian readers commenting beneath the article agree and so do many on this thread, so it's not some isolated campaign to misinterpret an article, in case that's what you're suggesting.

And of course you're perfectly entitled to disagree. People interpret things differently- just as they live their lives differently. I read it as a swipe at a certain type of viewpoint which elevates mothers to some sort of sainted status, and which marginalises fathers as a lesser figure in their child's life. And it's also a swipe at the phrase you sometimes hear that 'motherhood is the hardest job in the world'. Neither of those views are to with being a WOHM or SAHM per se. But like with most things, there will be a range of interpretations people make

am quite frankly baffled that you can read her reference to sahm's being 'financially hobbled' and not think she's being critical of them in any way, but merely commenting on the deification of mothers in pop culture!

She also mentions that WOHM are the lowest on the scale when it comes to elevating motherhood, so she's not any more complimentary about them!!

What I meant was, the main thrust of the article is not focused on that issue- that's almost an aside. It's about the deification of motherhood, the marginalization of fathers and the ridiculous idea that motherhood is a)a job and b) the hardest one in the world. Plenty of us have said we agree with the way the article argues against that

Now- if it had said 'parenting can be extremely challenging to do well, as well as exceptionally rewarding for mothers and fathers, and it's got nothing to do with working or not' then id have given 3 cheers.
But of course a rational balanced article doesn't sell papers

'financially hobbled' can apply to WOH and SAH.

I think to make it into a WOH/SAH debate is projecting.

.... Yeap agree with that too! I was pretty financially hobbled when my two were in day nursery

well, there are hundreds 'projecting' on the guardian website and dozens here! Odd that. Perhaps a different approach might have been better, if her real intention was not a sly dig at sahm's.

my children are not a job .. they are my life ... Tesco is my job .. to support my life. lol

but what i don't understand is why one article by one women which may have been or may not have been a dig at stahm then make stahm become defensive and start on the working mums ! saying things like were less of parents and that we are not the main role in our children's life is heartbreaking to hear when your a stahm. we didn't write the article lol

To be fair the digs at wohms were mostly counter attacks, responding to criticism of sahms.

but usuallyright.. i managed to express my opinion and defend myself as being a working mum without digging at stahm.

Hundreds of people responding - job done then as far as the writer and publication are concerned! That's journalism for you.

Seriously- if one is content with ones life, then you're not going to rise to such articles. As a WOHP I couldn't give a shiny shit that on some weird mother deification scale I'm supposedly right at the bottom. Why should I?

So long as I am content with my choices, my DH is content and my children are happy and thriving, what does it matter if some people think WOHM is wrong? Likewise, people shouldn't moan about the downsides (and believe me paying out the equivalent of my salary in childcare for years felt like a massive downside at the time) It's hard to work bloody hard in a professional role alongside being a parent of little ones and not be financially any better off at the end of the month, but it's not something id gripe about because I saw it as the long term issue.

I think the article is also making that point: make your choice and get on with it without moaning or trying to make it sound harder than it is. If you choose to stay at home, don't moan about being a martyr or unpaid teacher, taxi driver and all that bolleaux, and if you choose to work, don't moan about having to get up earlier and present yourself as an articulate professional when you've been up changing nappies in the night. Just get on with it!

Of course, the people who really deserve sympathy are those who don't have a choice and are forced into a position they'd rather not be in

alark because I do do what a stahm does it doesn't mean I have a single thing against them.

of course I still have to do what needs to be done whether I am stahm or not.

i have not said a single bad thing to say about stahm because if i could of been one from day 1 I would of been :/

also have not once said they are worse parents like they have or called them lazy so please do not put words in my mouth.

Oh fgs alark- you could only possibly think that way if you're looking to make it a competition.

Look: some WOHP do more with their children , interact with them more positively and make a better fist of parenting than some SAHP. Some SAHP do more with their children, interact with them more positively and make a better fist of parenting than some WOHP. Fact.

And actually I know from experience that some days when i was at home (i worked 3 days a week)I played less with my dd, did less stimulating things than on some of the days I worked!

If anyone is seriously playing a points game where they mentally clock these things up between themself and other parents then id assume they weren't finding life very satisfying

Ah quality not quantity alark

I agree, alark. Very silly and nonsensical arguments. Which people defend...odd.

Why does it worry you so much alark?
It a WOHM is perfectly content with the quality of experience, interaction etc etc her children are getting, why on earth are you so concerned to try to feel a SAHM must be doing 'better'?

alarky that's is exactly what I meant though !! its all variables so you cant say all working mums are this and all stay at home mums are that !

Not that it is any of your business but I changed jobs to suit what I needed. I got a Tesco job because it was open 24 hours and so I mostly do night shifts !

my shift starts at 12 am and I finish at about 10 .
i get home at 10.15. the only thing I have missed at this point is really breakfast etc ( my children are not at school yet )
i attend all my daughters appointments as she is poorly , i do the house work , have lunch with them and dinner , do their activities, and bath them. I put them to bed. at 7 when they go to bed I have an hour to clean up dinner and then i go to bed at 8 and sleep until and wake up at 11 to go to work !

so what I mean is you can't judge one person on another

some working parents in their spare time chill out and don't do activites , some stahm are the same. unless you know exactly what a routine is in someones home you can not say they spend less time with their children.

I don't think I'd be bored as a SAHP (I'm pretty sure that before the child starts school SAHP's are probably shattered keeping up with the children all day) but I wouldn't be satisfied either. I would feel like I was wasting years of my life and that my degree/job had all been for nothing

As an other poster above said, we need to remember that not all women have the luxury of choice as to whether they wish to be a SAHP/WOHP or not. Articles like this don't help anyone and only seek to cause controversy and upset.

mumofbeauty - that sounds exhausting!! Fair play to you :)

lol, come back and have an opinion on this when you've given birth! This post is a perfect example of what I said upthread about preconceived (pardon pun) notions....