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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

was this woman bu to complain about my husband?

398 replies

wingsofgildedsilver · 16/11/2013 15:29

My husband drives a van for work. Driving to work in the morning traffic and the car in front of him slowed down as the car in front of her was turning off left, the woman then waited to let another car pull out of the junction.

My husband beeped his horn at her and shook his head when she looked in her mirror at him.

When he got into work, later on that day the company had received a complaint about him - the woman had noted his licence plate and company name and sent them an email.

He now has a mark on his employment record.

OP posts:

Anniegetyourgun · 17/11/2013 17:30

Oh, and in response to the title post: HIBU. I probably wouldn't have bothered reporting it myself but that does not mean that reporting was the wrong thing to do.

I did report a tailgating coach once, which wasn't easy because for the greater part of the journey he was driving too close for me to even see the number plate. Dunno what happened but as conditions were very icy, notwithstanding which I was driving at 50 mph in a 50 mph zone except on very tight bends, I hope he got the book thrown at him. Or possibly her - I didn't see the driver. It was all a bit Duel. (Reference to the film, not an auto-correct fail.)

Binkybix · 17/11/2013 18:47

A few years ago I would have agreed that reporting was OTT but I'm so sick of the crappy, rude, inconsiderate driving I see day in day out (as a pedestrian) that I think reporting even small acts of aggression like this is a good thing. Good on her for bothering.

I reported someone once for blocking crossing point when his light was red, I couldn't cross with pram and he got annoyed with me for pointing this out!

tobiasfunke · 17/11/2013 18:50

People here are being very harsh on this guy. Someone beeped at me last weekend when I was in the right and I was annoyed but generally thought what a dick and got on with it.I bet everyone who drives a car has been guilty of being impatient with another driver at some point or other in their driving career or has done something that has annoyed another driver so there is no need to be so sanctimonious. Just because this guy beeped doesn't mean he is a shit dangerous driver who needs to lose his job. It means he was being impatient but then he could've come a whole load of rubbish drivers that day with their pyschic indicators and poor lane discipline and this was enough to - shock, horror - beep and shake his head.

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/11/2013 19:18

TBH tobiasfunke IMHO as this bloke appears to drive for a living, if this has wound him up, he shouldn't be behind the wheel, god knows what he would do if it was something worthy of derision.

HarryStottle · 17/11/2013 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anniegetyourgun · 17/11/2013 19:23

He didn't lose his job, anyway (yet?). He got told not to do it again. Which IMO is fair enough.

"Sanctimonious" is quite a harsh word too...

nennypops · 17/11/2013 20:31

Seems to me the woman who complained will, with any luck, have stopped OP's dh from behaving the same way again. And that will be a bonus for the rest of us who might meet him on the roads. So good for her.

Original poster

wingsofgildedsilver · 17/11/2013 20:35

How did the driver in front see his reg plate and co name?

I have already explained that. The company logo is on the front and on both sides. Also I'm guessing the reg plate is quite easy to take down as you can see it in your mirror and he was driving behind her for the next 25 minutes or so.

OP posts:

tobiasfunke · 17/11/2013 20:36

I think people who do a lot of driving for a living do tend to be less patient on the roads but then they see bad drivers all day everyday.
I still don't think beeping and shaking your head is the crime of the century nor does it mean that he will become pyschopathic if he comes across a really bad driver. People are sometimes in a hurry or are having a bad day.

if this has wound him up, he shouldn't be behind the wheel, god knows what he would do if it was something worthy of derision

this is an hysterical over reaction to what was a man beeping and shaking his head. In all probability if he came across something else he would beep and shake his head.

He didn't get out and go over and bang on the windscreen and swear at the person. That's exactly what a guy did to me husband on a roundabout when DH peeped at him because he crossed three lanes of traffic on a roundabout with marked lanes causing us to do an emergency stop and nearly crashed into the side of another car. My DH beeped to warn him and the other car swerved. The guy stopped his car in the middle of this big roundabout blocking all the traffic, got out and started swearing and banging on the window of our car. It was really scary. MY DH explained what he had done and why he had done it and pointed out the roadmarkings and the guy looked a bit sheepish, said sorry and scuttled off.
The guy was so indignant that someone beeped at him but he was such a shit driver he nearly caused 2 crashes and couldn't see 3 lanes on the road clearly marked. People get ridiculously precious over being beeped at - so what.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 17/11/2013 21:28

I drive something very much bigger than a van, and I hoot for one reason only: to alert other road users to my presence.

My current firm have pretty zero tolerance of twats: if the vehicle cameras don't show evidence of another road user behaving badly, and the onboard logger shows horn use, I'll have some explaining to do.

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/11/2013 21:40

"this is an hysterical over reaction to what was a man beeping and shaking his head. In all probability if he came across something else he would beep and shake his head."

You make I larf. .

I point you in the direction of disgracetotheYchromosme, having known many many professional drivers, none would do this as they see much worse on the roads each day, and I will repeat what I posted earlier, if this has wound him up, he shouldn't be behind the wheel, god knows what he would do if it was something worthy of derision

FryOneFatManic · 17/11/2013 22:31

Boney totally agree.

tobiasfunke · 17/11/2013 22:33

Maybe I should just give in to the mob. String him up I say for having the audacity to beep and shake his head. The man is obviously a pyschopathic nutter who should be kept off the road for all our sakes.

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 17/11/2013 22:54

well said Boney

this bloke is actually the type of driver that is a liability on the roads, not the one who lets another out of a side street nor the one that is a teeny bit hesitant

Anniegetyourgun · 17/11/2013 23:43

Nobody said he should be strung up. What they said was that he should not be driving like that. Hopefully now he has been reprimanded he will take that on board and be a little more considerate, thus making the road a nicer and safer place all round. What's not to like?

ChristmasCareeristBitchNigel · 17/11/2013 23:48

i should have said I don't think what he was "in the right". I just think reporting him was unreasonable

Maybe she was sick to death of white van men driving aggressively and decided to take a stand, good for her

nennypops · 17/11/2013 23:54

The thing is, the woman driver told his employers that she felt intimidated when he was following her for another 25 minutes. I'd like to see what she actually wrote, as I really doubt she would have written that unless there was something about his driving that continued to intimidate her.

sashh · 18/11/2013 08:08

It's not the done thing to STOP on the MAJOR route.

When the car in front of you is turning left it is not the done thing to drive into them, you slow down or stop.

Read the OP.

HarryStottle · 18/11/2013 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dozeydoris · 18/11/2013 20:24

She could have repeated it to someone via her hands free phone.

WaitMonkey · 18/11/2013 20:30

Wow, just read the op. Not going to bother reading the near 400 posts. But I dislike men like your dh greatly. As do I imagine most of the other posters or you wouldn't have received so many replies.

WaitMonkey · 18/11/2013 20:31

Oh, and I'm glad she reported him and I'm glad he has a mark in his record.

nickelbabe · 19/11/2013 16:57

I had just this situation today. I knew you'd qant to know about it.

car in front of me needed to go into a lefthand junction. very narrowvwith another car attempting to get out too.
I had to slpw right down, so I thought, while I was there, i'd let the otger car out.
didn't realise till i'd gestired to him that he was turning right (he had his blinker on but he was at a funny angle and I couldn't see it)
he pauaed while he checked the opposite side of the roas. the car approaching in the otger direction stopped to let him join the traffic. he had no other reason to stop.
afterwards. everyone carried on as normal. no beeping, no aggressive following, no rude gestures...

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