Am I being a spoilt brat?

[NancyShrew]

Engagment is potentially the cards for DP and I and I have spied a couple of potential rings that I might like. These rings are all round about £5k, which I think is a fair bit of money to spend on a ring! DP earns reasonably well, but it would require some savings on his part, probably taking about a year for him to save enough for the ring I want.

I have a feeling that DH wants to get engaged soon, as in the next six months, when presumably I would have to have a cheaper ring. We are still in our twenties so time is on our side. AIBU to want him to wait and save for the ring of my dreams? He's a generous man and I know he wouldn't begrudge spending that much money, think he's just a bit impatient!

£5k on a ring!?
Yabu.

£129 and he was a student stacking shelves and saved up for it . Still together 20 years later and not a private dance indulged in. He did offer me an eternity ring after dc 4 I declined in favour of saving for a family holiday. I never was much of a jewellry person.

My ring was £129 seventeen years ago.

Would I have liked something more expensive? Well yes, I can still remember the £350 ring I had my eye on initially, but unless they're Gordon Ramsey, chefs aren't that well paid!

It doesn't stop me looking at the one I have and thinking 'wow' though. It's much more about the memories and sentiment around the ring at the time than the ring itself.

I think you're using the ring to paper over the cracks in your relationship tbh. If you've spoken to people in RL about some of the issues you've had in your relationship then perhaps they'll be distracted from thinking 'it'll never last' by the size/expense of the ring?

YABU

Why not wait and get another ring another day, when you know he will enjoy buying it for you?

If you wouldn't want to be engaged to him without any ring at all then you should be engaged to him at all. IMHO

You sound like a spoilt materialistic madam.

my ring was 1 euro from a vending machine ...it had Woody Woodpecker on it!

my real ring was free - it was my great aunts ring

My engagement ring cost £60 from a pawnbroker, my wedding and eternity rings bought in Turkey, 18 carat, I don't remember how much but not too expensive. I think 5k on an engagement ring is very OTT, just my opinion though.

AIBU to want him to wait and save for the ring of my dreams?

yes. it is wasn't a large sum of money to him he would have it already. its just a ring.

My engagement ring was 249 my wedding ring 170 and my eternity ring 100, they all were from the same jewellers and diamonds, they were simple but suited me and I loved them! They were expensive to us at the time but all I have now is my wedding ring as the other two were stolen! I knew who did it but can't prove it!

Now our priorities have changed we can't replace them as we now saving for a baby! And no didn't claim on insurance as the excess was more than the value of the rings

If you are not buying a ring for your DP why can't you pay half towards yours? Otherwise if you insist he saves for it, you are being an bit of a spoilt brat.

heartisaspade Yes Bridezilla sprang to mind for me too!

I think it a most peculiar thing to even think about

And please dont start on equality everyone. Engagements just don’t work like that

Ahhhhhh, yes, equality, great until it gets a little bit inconvenient

Engagements, rings, proposals, I just don't get it. I think I'm missing the engagement gene or something. My dear friend has a lovely engagement ring, but I had to warn her in advance that I wouldn't be able to jump up and down and scream when I saw it like they do on telly.

I mean it's nice and all that, but why would metal and a rock make me scream. If I wanted to get married, I'd get married. Why the hooha.

I dreamt about the ring I wanted and sent the poor sod off to find it.

It is very small but cost £150 (i think) about 25 years ago. I don't wear it now as I am much too plump

Go for whatever you want.

My mum got my dad an engagement ring 50 years ago, I didn't get my husband one...so what

I don't wear a wedding ring my husband does....so what

The rule of thumb is two months' salary after tax for the prospective groom.

Poor bastard

He hasn't even proposed yet!

Op I think you should go on don't tell the bride and hate everything he does because your being "bratty" so we can do a thread on it

It doesnt sound like u should be getting married OP but instead should do some work on your relationship

Fwiw my DP and I set a budget for my ring and I paid just under half. It was expensive for us (nowhere near £5k!) but I don't have any other jewellery and we don't spend silly money on stuff regularly

I'll never forget my best friend sniffing "I'd never get engaged for less than a carat". The guy she married splashed out 10k on a ring. It lasted about 2yrs. The guy she's with now chose a ring himself that she'd never have dreamed of before and she's much happier with him.
I think you're being terribly shallow

I said all that and just remembered something

We met at 17, less than 6 weeks later we were engage with a £15 ring that I had to remember to swap from one finger to another when I was home so my parents didn't find out