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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think male strippers have no place at a PTA fundraiser?!

102 replies

FairyFanjoAndFudge · 13/11/2013 13:15

Our class rep has organised a fundraising 'Ladies Night' at a local bar. Ticket price is £18 for a welcome drink, buffet and 'entertainment'. Turns out the entertainment (which isn't mentioned on the leaflets distributed in school) is a drag act and two strippers. It's going to be a surprise.

Half the proceeds will go to our children's reception class and half to the PTA funds.

Obviously I can vote with my feet and just not go but AIBU in thinking this is just a bit.... eeeeeuuuuuwwww... To be honest it's not just because it's for the school: the whole idea of a Laydeez Night with male strippers makes my skin crawl. No-one would think it was acceptable for the fathers to get together and organise a 'Lad's Night with Suprise Lapdancers'.

The class rep (first child so new to the school) seems to think the teachers should also be invited...

Maybe I'm just being a snob prude/killjoy and it's all 'just a bit of fun' Hmm but I can't help thinking this is inappropriate. And I wonder how the school would feel about it if they knew what was planned?

Should I have a quiet word with the class rep? Or the school? Or just leave them to it?

Thoughts please, wise women of Mumsnet!

OP posts:
StackOfFuckers · 13/11/2013 13:18

Completely agree - it is inappropriate. I would speak to class rep and if no joy mention to HT

AuntieStella · 13/11/2013 13:20

Leave them to it.

I wouldn't go - it's seriously not an evening I'd enjoy. And as it has been arranged and publicised then I doubt it's stoppable.

But, you perhaps might like to point out that the "entertainment" should be spelled out in full in the leaflet. And that you hope the PTA will be arranging a (femal) strippers' night for the who like to ogle women. Which might make them realise why you think it so very inappropriate.

Oldandcobwebby · 13/11/2013 13:22

What a total disgrace. I am lost for words.

PansOnFire · 13/11/2013 13:25

Nah, Ladies Night has it's place: hen dos, birthday parties, girlie nights urgh but a school fundraiser?? Eek. Don't go, probably just leave them to it.

I'd love to see what the reaction would be if it was a blokes night Shock but actually, I'm intrigued as to the reaction to the surprise strippers - oh please do update us!

NicknameIncomplete · 13/11/2013 13:28

I would like to know how many people agreed to this for this to be arranged & booked.

I quite like a good strip show but not for a school PTA fundraiser.

AuntySib · 13/11/2013 13:31

It's inappropriate, no question.
But presumably the rest of the PTA must have agreed this? I'd be registering my disapproval with the Chair of the PTA, and then with the the Head.

Tee2072 · 13/11/2013 13:36

Yeah. Not for a school thing. A bit sleaze, innit?

Twoandtwomakeschaos · 13/11/2013 13:40

Inappropriate, mor so as it wasn't spelled out and might catch some unawares.

sandfrog · 13/11/2013 13:42

YANBU. Quite a few people would not enjoy this or find it appropriate, so it's going to exclude quite a lot of people automatically.

Original poster
FairyFanjoAndFudge · 13/11/2013 13:42

Thanks for the replies.

I don't expect the school or PTA committee know what is planned. The PTA have devolved responsibility for organising fundraising events to the class reps (because in previous years a small team has been responsible for everything).

The other parents weren't consulted so I assume she's acting on her own initiative and, being new to school is a bit misguided!

She decided (quite rightly) that she couldn't mention the strippers on a leaflet which was distributed via the children's bookbags hence she opted to make it a surprise - on the assumption that everyone knows what 'ladies night' means... Do they?!

OP posts:
OrangePixie · 13/11/2013 13:45

Meh, not every event has to be school-related does it? If it raises more money than a, say, bake sale, then why not? It's not like the children will be there!

Chocotrekkie · 13/11/2013 13:47

I would think as it was a pta thing manicures, pedicures, those hands in wax things for "ladies night" But seriously the school need to know what's going on.

I would have a word with either the chair of PTA or the class teacher.

Original poster
FairyFanjoAndFudge · 13/11/2013 13:48

Of course not Orange but there are so many other forms of entertainment that are more widely appealing and less sleazy!

What's wrong with a good-old fashioned disco, eh?!

OP posts:
TiggyD · 13/11/2013 14:00

Don't get involved. Let it happen. You'll have great gossip at the school gates for years afterwards. It'll be chaos! Backstabbing and bitching and complaints and lawsuits. Who knows what else!?

Or with my sensible head on, it really needs stopping. Paying for the reception class improvements with naked men and a drag act? The Daily Mail wouldn't approve.

Original poster
FairyFanjoAndFudge · 13/11/2013 14:02

I hadn't even considered what the Daily Mail would make of it Grin

OP posts:
YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 13/11/2013 14:04

Its despicable. actually I'm finding it hard to see what the fuss is. Runs away shrugging

OrangePixie · 13/11/2013 14:05

Well you might think its sleazy but there are plenty of people who don't and why stop them? It's not illegal!

I do agree however that the surprise element is a bad idea - people should know what they're going to so they can make an informed decision. So YANBU in that sense.

LifeofPo · 13/11/2013 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RaspberryRuffle · 13/11/2013 14:09

I would have a word with the class rep saying that some people might not agree with this type of entertainment, or my find it more of a shock than a surprise...so it's not you disapproving but rather introducing the concept that it may not be appropriate.
Don't a lot of workplaces use the Daily Fail test as a gauge of how things could look to outsiders? Some eager local journo snapping HT with stripper in background!
Imagine if you say nothing and it all kicks off, and she says that Fairy knew all about it and thought it was a good idea.

itscockyfoxagain · 13/11/2013 14:11

Oh dear, I just just wouldn't go I don't want to see strangers take their clothes off.
I would assume a ladies night to be wine and chocolate maybe selling make up or or something. If there were were surprise strippers I would leave.

GetWhatYouNeed · 13/11/2013 14:12

The head should be told and the evening stopped, if press got hold of the story it would put the head in a very awkward position defending how money had been raised. From a double standards points of view it would be interesting to see how a school PTA could think it reasonable to raise money for children from a night out with female strippers.

Edendance · 13/11/2013 14:15

The poor women who turn up for a lovely tame PTA supporting night out and end up with strippers! I'd be so embarrassed!! Ha! School gate entertainment for sure!

But yes, I agree- weird and inappropriate!

thenicknameiwantedisgone · 13/11/2013 14:24

Shock - it's not often I'm shocked but this is no appropriate for a school fundraiser.

I would be tempted to have a quiet word with someone who could stop it.

Quenelle · 13/11/2013 14:28

I wouldn't clutch my pearls about it or anything but a strip act would put me off going, and probably others. So I suppose yes it is inappropriate.

I think you should tell the class rep it's a bad idea to surprise people with it. If she chooses to ignore you at least you tried.

I would only go to a ladies night out of duty anyway. I'm not a fan.

sandfrog · 13/11/2013 14:59

I would assume a "ladies night" organised via school would just be going for a drink with other mums.