To flirt all the time?

[Brittapie]

Apparently I am constantly flirting. I keep getting in trouble for it.

The vast majority of the time (like, 99.9%) I mean absolutely nothing by it at all. It's just a nice way of giving people an ego boost, having a bit of fun etc. I'm not talking actually rubbing against people, I'm not even sure what it is I do really - making eye contact mostly I think, I dunno.

I get told I flirt when I dance too (I do partner dancing) but that just is because it feels weird NOT to look at someone who has their arm round my waist, and if I keep eye contact and smile I am much less likely to get dizzy and/or lose my lead somehow.

I probably do talk about sex a lot. OK I definitely do. But that's not in a flirty way, I just have a dirty sense of humour, and a lot of my friends are the same.

If people don't flirt back I stop, but I would say about 50% of people do flirt back (it's hard to say cos I don't really do it consciously) Every now and again I get in an outrageous flirt off when I find someone else who is as bad as I am

I'm bisexual, but I also do move in circles where maybe a third of my good platonic friends are men, so gender isn't really that big a deal (except that men are more likely to flirt back I suppose)

I'm not wafting about in miniskirts and high heels. I basically dress like a slightly vintagey student, I have very little poise and elegance. I am well fit but I genuinely think that most people are, if they would only believe it.

If I actually fancy someone I usually lose the ability to talk to them even normally and generally act all embarrassed and shy.

That doesn't help though. People keep telling me I was flirting, or telling me off for it. Not the people I'm flirting with though, because I just interact with the person I'm interacting with, not the entire room. And if it is a partner of the flirtee objecting, well they should be objecting to their partner, not to me. I wouldn't have any issue with a partner of mine flirting because, well, it's flirting.

SIGH.

So yeah, does anyone else flirt? And is a bit of harmless flirting really THAT bad?

Sorry but also - Maybe people are telling you off for flirting because you are making an embarrassment of yourself or making others feel uncomfortable.

OPs description of flirting just sounds like someone being friendly mostly...
I don't think the way she acts hurts or harms anyone so what could possibly be the problem?
There are lots of comments on this thread which seem to be trying to put the OP down which is strange.

I think it's great that you have lots of confidence and enjoy flirting. I am shit at it myself. But I've known flirty people and reckon on the whole they make life more fun for everyone. I seriously would not have a problem with someone flirting with my dh, I know it would be a very cold day in hell the day he was tempted to stray. He would be delighted and I'd find it adorable (he has no concept of his is own attractiveness, which is a shame). BUT... I would say as a piece of advice, be very very careful who you are flirty around. There are people - odd or creepy or just a bit lonely - who will have the capacity to misunderstand you in a big way and this can be really devastating. Farmer Boldwood types if you will (please google if not a massive Hardy fan like me lol). I think you've been given a pretty hard time on this thread though OP!

Actually there is something appealingly British about the fury and rage that OP's comment about being 'well fit' has sparked... What is wrong with having a bit of confidence?!!

Monkey, I think it's more that people are amused she's asserting it on an online forum, where none of us are anything but words on a screen. I could also declare myself to be as beautiful as an angel, rather than the harassed, skinny 41 year old with messy hair that I in fact am.

Or am I? Might I not in fact be a lonely fifty something lorry driver called Steve who has pulled into a layby to impersonate a tiresome, vintage-y student flirting addict?

Might I not in fact be a lonely fifty something lorry driver called Steve

Anchoress - have you name-changed to reply to your own thread?! (Or am I in fact both of you? This thread has taken an interesting turn ...)

Sorry. My thighs wobble, I have body hair, my skin is blotchy and spotty, my belly looks like I have had two children (which I have), my hips are covered in stretch marks, my boobs are half what they were, I wear glasses, my frizzy home cut and dyed hair isn't even all the same colour and I have a lisp so bad that I struggle to make myself understood when I say certain words, often have a limp and sometimes struggle to hold a conversation because my mental health can't cope.

That better? It's all true. I don't hide any of it. Well, I tend to be fairly covered, clothes wise, but I don't pretend that I don't wear makeup on nights out or control garments when I wear certain dresses.

(I'm still well fit )

(I'm actually alarmed at the reaction... Do you all find it worrying that someone can make a half jokey statement like that?)

Brittapie - 'fess up! We all know your true identity now! How's the traffic on the motorways?

Apparently, there's been a collision involving industrial beehives on the M5 Know anything about it?

As a few of us have said, there's nothing wrong with saying/thinking you are attractive / having confidence.

"I'm well fit" sounds like something a cocky oik teenager might say. Plus I'm grumpy today

It's obviously tongue in cheek

I am satisfied with my physical appearance and that of others.

Whoops, only saw this now. No, sadly am neither flirty Steve in a layby or the OP. Didn't mean the thread to get All Postmodern.

I think you sound like fun. You sound like a natural flirt, not a conniving cow type of flirt, and I love your attitude to your looks.

Anchoress - I still think you were on to something! (Nothing wrong with a bit of virtual, transgender fun on a Friday afternoon.)

Britta

You remind me of my mother.
She is almost 70 now. I see other ladies her age, going for coffee or whatever but over the years all her friends have drifted away.
She always worked in the service industry too. Always believed her customers came to her because she was better than all the other staff, friendlier etc.
She still makes inappropriate sexual jokes and thinks she's being funny (cringe).
She believes she is better looking than all her old friends, would put them down and say they don't make an effort when they are turned out better than her.
As I said she is almost 70 yet would still maintain the delivery guy had eyes for her. Every friend she had she believed wanted to be her and their husbands wanted to be with her.

She's a lonely old lady. We, her family, can't put up with the narcissistic personality. Her friends and own siblings don't even bother with her anymore.
Mother still thinks she's the one in the right and that everyone around her is just dry and isn't any fun.

Oh, she also has trophies for dancing in her youth.
She's still the best dancer too...

(Picture 70 year old at family party attempting to out dance the teenagers to 'Blurred Lines')

Sorry, I've asked cos one or two people have made remarks about me being a flirt. Even my boyfriend remarks on it (but in a kind of approving way, and saying why we are good together, because he is just as bad)

So I was curious.

Have you found any of the replies here helpful, Steve Brittapie?

I'm not better looking than my friends, they are all stunning

Yeah, lots of thinking material. Going out tonight and one of the people in our group has woefully low self esteem (to the point where I want to shake her and tell her she is worth so much more, because she is) and tends to somehow scare single men off and make women and unsingle men uneasy by being too full on. Pretty much like I think people are saying about me on this thread. So I will watch her and try to spot what she does and see if it is what I do too.

and I can assure you that I am entirely female

(I just tried to think of a secret password, like you do when you nc and want to prove you are a regular, except for being female, then I realised that was a bloody stupid idea)

Britta, honestly, I was reading your posts and thought 'I'm sure this poster has said that she has a condition which influences her posting style at times...'

Your posts sound a bit 'full on' if you catch my drift. It doesn't come across that this is 'natural' for you. IF you can control it, why don't you tone it down for a while and see how you get on?

I was only joking - you have a good sense of humour!

You sound like a lovely person who likes to see the beauty in other people, that's great. And the flirting I could live with.

But this whole thread is just screaming ME ME ME ME ME ME!

I'm not sure why that bothers me so much but I just had to say it.

Carry on flirting if you enjoy it, like someone else said up thread once you stop you totally forget how to do it again. I speak from experience!