AIBU or is the school?

[extremepie]

I have 2 ds's who attend the same school just over a mile from our house.

Since the start of school the head has been moaning at me about the kids coming into school late - to be fair they are late most days but I have explained the reasons why several times to the head as follows:

I don't drive and rely on the bus which arrives at the school between 8.50-8.55, school starts at 8.45 so not a huge difference and obviously I can't control the bus times

The bus only runs once an hour so my only other option would be to take the boys in early for breakfast club - except for the fact that it costs £5.40 a day for breakfast club & I can't afford this

I have no friends or family who can give me a lift

My youngest has asd and cannot walk independently, he also doesn't attend school for full days meaning I have to do 3 school runs a day, 8.45, 1.30 & 3.15. If i walk to school in the morning I miss the bus back, then I have to walk up again at half one meaning I normally would have to walk between 5 and 6 miles a day just to take them to school & back!

I can't afford taxis every day

Knowing all these circumstances AIBU to take them to school 5-10 mind late everyday and expect the school to be a little more understanding?

Has he got a statement?

Yes he does :)

And you're appealing it?

No we're appealing for a place in the SN school that is currently full - the SN school is named on the statement as the preferred school

It's named on the statement? And on,y that?

Have you tried contacting your local Parent Partnership for help/advice on getting the transport sorted? They provide advice etc to parents of children with SEN, and should be able to help you with advice on how to push for transport. Hopefully!

I feel really bad for you OP. Hope you manage to get things sorted to suit you, the school isn't being unreasonable but I think your situation is difficult.

i really wish people would read the whole thread before commenting so the same questions and answers don't have to be repeated. op i have the utmost sympathy for you. can you make an appointment with the head and say you cannot keep him home from school as.he legally has to be in school and they legally need to keep him there full time!

OP, I hope you get news on the special school soon, because that sounds like the place your ds2 should be at if it's named on his statement.

The problem with everyone's suggestion of chasing up the transport for ds2 is that it WON'T enable her to get ds1 to school on time. The taxi would be timed to pick ds2 up in the sensible amount of time it takes to drive 1 miles (so about five-ten minutes before school). OP would have to leave earlier than that to get ds1 to school on time, leaving ds2 on his own in the house (not possible). Or set off with ds1 after ds2's taxi has been for him, making ds1 much later than he is now!

I can try birdy but I do feel a little bad making a fuss because the course they are going on is about autism so it's beneficial for Ds that they go, I'm just not sure it's fair that he has to miss school for the day, especially when I'm going to have to take him with me to drop ds1 off at school - he's going to be very confused as to why his brother is going to school & he isn't :/

I'm dreading next month when I have to go to hospital for some treatment & I'm going to have to drop them off early & pick them up late, they will have to sort something out for that day as I have no one else who could pick them up!

Hmm, I'm not sure exactly how it works but I just assumed that if ds2 got transport (like a taxi), me & ds1 would go in the car with him to school so I could get ds1&2 there at the same time? Is that not what happens? I couldn't leave ds2 in a taxi with just a driver because he would be undoing his seatbelt or trying to open the door/ climb out the window during the journey - I would need to supervise him :/

I would walk. YABU not to be on time every day. I know it is hard, I used to do a 6 mile a day (3 trips there and back over a mile each way) with a twin pram uphill and health issues. It was a nightmare. Luckily we changed to a nearer school eventually.

I' confused about the appeal. If the placement is named in part 4 on the statement then the child must attend.

If the current school is named, then they must fund whatever is necessary to keep your child safe and learning for 36 hours. If they can't they should call an early annual review of the statement or demand more support/money from the LA.

Whilst you are letting them off the hook by keeping Ds off nothing will change. Tell them you are busy on Wednesday and they need to cover any missing staff in the same wat they woukdn't expect NT children to stay at home so their teacher coukd attend training additional to inset days.

I think it's because our statement was finalised after the admissions were done for the year & all the places at the SN school already allocated, hence the appeal because he should be going there but they don't have space for him :(

The situation sounds very suspiciously Judicially a Reviewable for which you can get top legal firm help using legal aid in your child's name.

Have you called IPSEA or SOSSEN?

The LA are acting illegally btw, and I would guess coukd be accused of maladministration for which you can get (a bit of ) financial compensation.

Will follow that up starlight, thanks, there have been 'weird' things going on ever since they started but in other ways they've been good and I guess I'm just stressed out with the whole thing & didn't want to rock the boat & look like I'm being difficult :/

I'm just feeling more & more irritated at the differences between ds1&2 in their attitudes to their schooling :(

Because of your not wanting to rock the boat, they are royally taking the piss. It won't change. Why would it?

www.ipsea.org.uk

www.sossen.org.uk

And on the SN Children part of the board you'll find a bunch of people that can help you navigate and stop the LA and school from breaking the law as they currently are.

Also, if your Ds needs a taxi, he'll have an escort unless assessed safe without.

OP
Sorry haven't read middle page of thread. But I think your life sounds very tough at present. Virtual hugs sent and
I think your little boy needs to be at special school, he sounds like he is in the wrong place if they can't cope all day.
Could anyone give the oldest child a lift home? I know I would if you lived near me. Even a couple of days a week would surely make it easier.
Best of luck and hope things get better.

Is only five fucking minutes unless the school want to work with you just carry on as you are. Can't believe thenumber people are insinuating op is lazy. Or out and out saying it. Op it sounds like you're doing the best you can for your children under very difficult circumstances.

Op usually transport for sn have an escort ... Hope
Your sorting things

For crying out loud people who don't read the whole post really should!! It's not just about walking!

Here's a tip- if u can't be bothered to read a whole post which is
Clearly long wth the amount of comments don't bother leaving judge comments that are not useful or supportive in the ops circumstances! It's just rude !

I've reported this thread to get it moved from aibu- hope u don't mind op

extremepie you wouldn't be difficult at all, you would be fighting for something that you and your family need, deserve and are entitled to. You're having a rough time and they should be supporting you

YANBU.

Can only back up the advice given from others who have children with SN, who have been as helpful to me on SN boards the past year.

I would quite simply go into HT tomorrow and ask him politely why it is that you are being nagged about the children being 5 minutes late daily - when they know the difficulties but yet they are willing to cut your DS education by 3 hours in one day and by half on a weekly basis.

I agree with Starlight - don't let them anymore.