AIBU or is the school?

[extremepie]

I have 2 ds's who attend the same school just over a mile from our house.

Since the start of school the head has been moaning at me about the kids coming into school late - to be fair they are late most days but I have explained the reasons why several times to the head as follows:

I don't drive and rely on the bus which arrives at the school between 8.50-8.55, school starts at 8.45 so not a huge difference and obviously I can't control the bus times

The bus only runs once an hour so my only other option would be to take the boys in early for breakfast club - except for the fact that it costs £5.40 a day for breakfast club & I can't afford this

I have no friends or family who can give me a lift

My youngest has asd and cannot walk independently, he also doesn't attend school for full days meaning I have to do 3 school runs a day, 8.45, 1.30 & 3.15. If i walk to school in the morning I miss the bus back, then I have to walk up again at half one meaning I normally would have to walk between 5 and 6 miles a day just to take them to school & back!

I can't afford taxis every day

Knowing all these circumstances AIBU to take them to school 5-10 mind late everyday and expect the school to be a little more understanding?

So had your DS got a physical disability?

Extreme, the last thing you are is inadequate, you've got a huge amount on your plate!

sorry just seen that he has,

If there is no safe walking routre available then they should be providing transport I would have thought.

We walk 15 miles to school five times a day, through mud and over cliffs. I only have one leg and 18 children.

Buck up OP!

(actually, ignore that. Hope you are getting all the help you need. Good luck.)

Well, no bashing from me, it sounds very very hard.

Can you turn it back on the school a bit? Someone upthread mentioned the school acting illegally not having your DS2 there all the time. That's a bit of leverage for you with them. Also, if the statement is to cover transport can you ask the head to help you lobby to get the transport?

Perhaps not this term, but certainly from next it might be better to get there early-again, turn it back on the school and ask whether, if you do, there will be somewhere other than the unaffordable breakfast club where you can wait.

Either the Head helps you or, once s/he has said no to all you suggestions, is a bit less quick to clobber you over the head re lateness.

It sounds to me like you desperately need legal advice and help, with transport, full time education and getting your son into a school that can meet his needs. It also sounds as if you qualify for legal aid, so phone the Civil Legal Advice service on 0845 345 4345.

I don't think yabu.

Its perfectly possible to have staggered arrivals and departures written into a statement to accommodate an issue with ASD.

I know because for the very short time two of my kids were in state school that happened.

I wish people would read the thread before posting.

I've got no advice, but you won't get a bashing from me. I hope you get some support and it gets sorted soon. It sounds very hard for you just now.

I walk 20 miles a day to school carrying all my children on my back, across moors and up mountains. Toughen up OP!

OP, glad you're getting some good advice now. You're holding it together really well, keep posting as you will get support on here.x

I used to walk around 7miles daily on the school runs. It's ok doing it mon & tues. Wed you are v tired. Thurs and fri you don't want to but force yourself. This is 30 miles a week mon- fri for those who haven't worked it out. It's exhausting!
Yes for a nice walk at the weekend with the family 6 miles is nothing.
Daily, day in day out - all weathers not so pleasant!
I would absolutely NOT RECOMMEND a Maclaren major - you will add a bad back to your tired legs!!!
The best for long walks is a baby jogger summit x3. Bigger wheels, air tyres and large seat suit a bigger kid with sn. It can turn on a sixpence! It's the easiest push. It has full all round suspension which is comfy for the kid but also cushions your arms from vibrations etc. the handbrake takes the load off your arms when waiting at the kerb to cross the road too.
Sorry you're in this position op - I do think your going to have to walk.
Get yourself to bed by 8:30pm each day or you'll not cope with the tiredness. Use a slow cooker for dinner. (((Sincere hugs)))

your last post clarifies a lot op. You deserve some slack from the school. good luck x

Don't feel inadequate Extreme, you have a lot on your plate and it can be really hard. I walk a bit less than that with my son with ASD and some mornings (especially when he is protesting) it feels like a marathon.

I have been in your situation re part time schooling and I would tell the school that they need to work with you. Why is the 5 minutes in the morning so important to them if he isnt on role full time.

OP, please repost in SN and or Education, this thread's got more NRFT replies on it than I've seen for weeks.

Wow OP that sounds awful.

If he was 5 recently then next term would be the first term after his 5th birthday in which case he legally has to be in full time education? Apologies if I've got that wrong but hopefully if true then they'll have to accept him for full days.

Fuzzpig, he is entitled to a full time education from the September of the academic year he turns five, no matter when that is.

So, if he turns five in January, he is still entitled to a full time education now.

Awful OP, just no excuse whatsoever for the school breaking the law. I'm not saying it doesn't matter whether your kids arrive on time or not - of course it matters and you are responsible for getting them there on time. But I think provide your son with the education that he has a right to is a far more pressing issue.

Get up to school for a meeting with the head. Talk about your options for transportation. And find out what they intend to do about fulfilling their legal obligation. It's not on. Don't let them fob you off - threaten to report them and go ahead and do it if necessary.

Hang in there.

*providing

Christ some of the replys on here are harsh.one would think some people just like putting the boot in for the fun of it

OP, just a random thing about your DS rejecting the rain cover, my toddler does too, so on rainy days he is in a puddle suit & wellies to keep him as dry as possible, worth a thought?

It sounds like you're doing a fab job in tough circumstances.

extreme not helpful but . Best of luck, it really sounds tough at the mo. I hope things improve soon

Tethers I thought it was from the term after they turn five (DD is a summer baby and we chose for her to drop one afternoon a week throughout most of yrR, with no problems, this was a couple of years ago)

Although I may be getting confused between being entitled to FT ed for your child, and being legally obligated to send your child for FT ed IYSWIM. I am easily confused...

Either way hope it is sorted ASAP extremepie

Yy fuzzpig, a child is not required to be in school full time until the term after their fifth birthday, but they are entitled to a full time education from the September of the academic year in which they turn five.

I agree with you. Considering the circumstances and the bus times and the fact that there is only one an hour. What else are you meant to do. Surely in this instance the school could be much more understanding. Think they are being harsh.