Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you do if your DP was a zombie

137 replies

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/11/2013 12:52

Would you attempt to kill them.

If zombies turn humans into zombies would your rather be a zombie like your DP

OP posts:
SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 03/11/2013 18:51

I'd do a Michonne and turn him into a guard zombie. I've told him this, he was quite upset.

LEMisafucker · 03/11/2013 18:59

I got a job based on my zombie apocalypse plan however it was the worse job I ever had.

As for DP, id kill him then kill myself

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/11/2013 20:26

LEM that sounds interesting, was it for a movie or a show.

OP posts:
VerySmallSqueak · 03/11/2013 20:32

I would sell him to the nearest giant pharmaceutical company as their chance to develop a cure,and make a 'killing'.

moominleigh94 · 03/11/2013 20:35

Let him eat me and then shoot him

A girl's got needs.

totally not lowering the tone

Lweji · 03/11/2013 20:36

I believe the WHO have a zombie apocalypse plan.

In any case, if you plead zombie how do the prosecution prove he was not a zombie? Are there zombie diagnostic tests to be applied if the corpse is no longer walking, biting and moaning?

Grennie · 03/11/2013 20:40

Yes if you kill your DP, beat the body and face a bit and then leave it to rot a bit, surely the body will just look like a zombie?

In which case insurance companies will never pay out for a zombie death.

Pedallleur · 03/11/2013 20:40

Decapitation doesn't work, the head still 'lives'. It has to be a penetration into the brain via a bullet, spike,knife, whatever. And yes, my dp has to go. What about the last helicopter is taking off and you are running to get it. The zombies are behind you and a member of your family falls down. Do you keep running as the zombies now can feast or do you go back and make a last stand?

Alisvolatpropiis · 03/11/2013 20:41

I would kill him.

Well, kill him again. As he would be a reanimated corpse.

Lweji · 03/11/2013 20:43

Oh, sorry, it was the CDC. Can't do the link ATM.

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/11/2013 20:46

Depends on what family member.

OP posts:
Lweji · 03/11/2013 20:47

But, Squeak, you know how pharmaceuticals are. We'd probably end up in a true zombie apocalypse caused by them.
Or he'd en up in a lost spaceship somewhere to be discovered centuries from now by some cargo ship...

Which reminds me: zombie vs alien. What so you reckon would happen?

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/11/2013 20:48

www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm

Is that it lewji

OP posts:
VerySmallSqueak · 03/11/2013 20:50

But I would have the money....

Lweji · 03/11/2013 20:51

If it was my GM we'd probably throw her anyway Blush to gain some time. She's a complete twat and abusive too. Even the zombies might avoid her.
She's surprisingly strong at almost 103 and might be able to beat up a few (as when she slapped some of the poor women who have been helping take care of her :( ).

Lweji · 03/11/2013 20:53

Thank you Fourty. :)

MrsMaryCooper · 03/11/2013 21:50

Kill him. He would kill me.

If it was DC we would keep in the shed and feed him other people and cats.

Lweji · 03/11/2013 22:23

I'm buying my niece this Barbie, so that she can prepare, just in case.

Shodan · 03/11/2013 23:05

Dh's noisy eating annoys me enough as it is. There's no way I could tolerate the noise he'd make eating human flesh.

I would break my own rule and use my best Sabatier carving knife to stab him in the head. And then enjoy the peace and quiet (until the other zombies come).

If it was the DC, I'd stab them too, because it would mean they'd disobeyed a direct instruction from me - 'Do not, under ANY circumstances, allow yourselves to be zombified'- and therefore would need to be Taught A Lesson.

Greenfircone · 03/11/2013 23:11

If he's a zombie would the insurance pay out and sort our mortgage? Must check on that, otherwise he'd have to stay in the garage. He'd be happy there and probably prefer it to being in the house dealing with the kids and might make us some money making fence panels or something.

aquashiv · 03/11/2013 23:19

Do they move quite fast at times? If so it would be an improvement, though I would keep my distance and would not seek to join him. I don't like what happens to their hair.

2kidsintow · 03/11/2013 23:22

My Dh has one leg. I'd steal his prosthetic one, so he wouldn't be a very mobile zombie. :)

middleclassdystopia · 04/11/2013 07:37

I'd always hope for a cure, so would probably let dh and dc bite.

DavidHarewoodsFloozy · 04/11/2013 15:37

I,m quite concerned about insurance also.

Would i get his pension? How would that work?

We really need clarity on the financial side.

DawnOfTheDee · 04/11/2013 15:47

I think the pension/insurance thing depends on what type of zombie apocalypse you are experiencing.

A - the dead have risen as there is no more room in hell George A Romero-traditional style zompoc

or

B - a pandemic where humans are infected with a virus e.g. the 'Rage' virus in 28 Days Later.

If you are in Zompoc A then yes an insurance policy would pay out. If you are in Zompoc B then no it wouldn't. In scenario B you wouldn't be able to kill him either as that would render the policy void too. You could just send him on his way and hope someone else kills him.....then we would pay out.