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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you do if your DP was a zombie

137 replies

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/11/2013 12:52

Would you attempt to kill them.

If zombies turn humans into zombies would your rather be a zombie like your DP

OP posts:
bearleftmonkeyright · 03/11/2013 14:33

Chop his head off with a broadsword borrowed from Michone

Lweji · 03/11/2013 14:36

I can already imagine some of you as the Von Zombies. Your nice neighbourhood zombie family. Roaming the streets and feeding on the neighbours.

extremepie · 03/11/2013 14:49

Bear Michonne has a samurai sword, broadswords are heavy & slow has thought about this too much :/

Original poster
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 03/11/2013 15:26

Can you imagine the threads.

DZ bite another child in preschool aibu to think the child just look tasty.

OP posts:
Mia4 · 03/11/2013 15:30

Zombie as in dead, rotting and decomposing or the other type of 'zombie' that isn't really a zombie because it's still alive but its infected, infective and trying to murder you?

The live one, I'd tie up and hope for a cure if possible, if not possible and we have to run then I'd ask someone (hopefully with a gun) to either shoot him or let me.

Zombie DP, I'm bashing his head in. He's not my DP any more, he's a predator that's hot for my bod in a very horrific way. DP and I have had this conversation, if someone is a zombie then Id kill them to put them out their misery and save myself and/or others.

Bitten people, I'd wait until they turned in case some were immune.

AaDB · 03/11/2013 15:32

If DH was bitten, I wouldn't let him into the house/chuck him out. Zombies freak me out ATM. After watching a World War Z and Walking Dead marathon, I washed the bath so I could fill it with water to drink. My tins and wine stores would last a few weeks.

Can't think about ds.

whattodoo · 03/11/2013 15:34

WWMD? What would Mischone do?

I'd chop his arms and tongue off. Break his teeth and jaw. Chain him up and keep him as a deterrent.

And I'd start sharpening my kitchen knives and fashioning something destructive out of DD's water pistols.

Changebagsandgladrags · 03/11/2013 15:37

I would shoot him. Then cut up the body. Then burn the pieces. Then crush up the ashes, then bury them.

MrsBennetsEldest · 03/11/2013 15:37

TBH I probably wouldn't notice, if on the off chance I paid any attention and he was indeed a zombie I would remove his head from his body with whatever implement was close at hand.

MisterBadExample · 03/11/2013 15:40

extremepie, Michonne's Katana is a fine weapon, but is actually somewhat heavier and slower than a traditional broadsword.

The Japanese had rubbish steel and so had to laminate differing grades of metal together to get a weapon that was sharp and strong. The result was a hefty single-edged cutting weapon that needed two hands to work effectively as the balance point was a long way along the blade. The various broadsword types were made of better steel so they could lighten the blade by making it with fullers (the grooves that some people think are 'blood channels'). The balance would usually be just in front of the wielders hand and it was good for thrust (excellent for zombie defence - even if you miss the eye-socket or nasal cavity, you've still punched the zombie on its arse from three feet away) and cutting on either direction of swing, disabling zombies with soft-tissue damage for easier disposal.

A Katana is better for instant kills, though, as that forward balance point lets you put a lot of power into the swing for a good beheading stroke against a slow-shuffling ghoul.

Yeah, I've thought about this a lot, too. (I'd be going for paired handaxes. Easy to find, low-maintenance, good cutting and bludgeoning and light and fast enough to use one for fending off while you deliver a skull-crushing stroke with the other. Also helpful as tools. A couple of those multipurpose chinese army folding shovels and my apocalypse survival toolkit is complete.)

raffle · 03/11/2013 15:40

Stove his head in with a shovel, no question about it.

DiscoBiscuits · 03/11/2013 15:41

He would be a very dead undead thing, very quickly.

HanShotFirst · 03/11/2013 15:41

After today, I would end him if he was a zombie - no question.

My children....I can't even begin to imagine. It makes me feel really Sad

AChristmassyJerseySpud · 03/11/2013 15:42

Shoot him.

Mia4 · 03/11/2013 15:51

Urgh to keeping him around if he was dead and rotting, it might scare off people but it would encourage disease quicker then anything!

I'd rather be dead dead then zombified- zombified means rotting away, hurting other people.

Every dead zombie is one less to bite someone: DP,DC, DM, DF or yourself.

MisterBadExample · 03/11/2013 16:00

Mia4: Yep. And if you're bitten and going to turn, you get amongst 'em and take as many down as you can before you turn. No more need to be careful, just make sure there are fewer zombies as a result of you turning.

Yes, thought about this waaaaaay too much.

Mia4 · 03/11/2013 16:12

MisterBadExample, now I know who to say hi to if I see someone doing the same as me :)

Don't worry I have too, I ranted about the classic reactions to a zombie outbreak with people running to public places to my DP one wine filled night and told them about my survival plan.

GirlWithTheYellowHat · 03/11/2013 16:25

I often lie awake at night wondering if I have enough tins in the house to last if there was an outbreak of zombies.
Late night bfing takes me past a window which looks out onto the street and I always look just to see if there any wandering about.

I'd rather glen or rick saved me, not into daryl!

Littleredsquirrel · 03/11/2013 16:32

I have enough in the house for a three month zombie outbreak.

This is assuming they're the slow walking dead type zombies not the super jumping, door bashing down World War Z type zombies.

Mia4 · 03/11/2013 16:32

GirlWithTheYellowHat If you have enough to last a few days/week to survive the iniial panic then you can go out when things are calmer as in less people. They'll be zombies but hopefully less people to compete for food with and the zombies may have fanned out a bit. If you can band together with other neighbours and have some of you defending your homes and others going out that's even better.

Mia4 · 03/11/2013 16:32

I've thought about this too much...

reelingintheyears · 03/11/2013 16:33

I'd LTB.

Crocodilehunter · 03/11/2013 16:57

I'd twat him in the head with something. shoe, golf club, whatever came to hand!
It wouldnt really be him anyway oh well Wink

MrsWinklepicker · 03/11/2013 17:04

Hmmmmm will have to check whether the life insurance is still valid if I've twatted him in the head with a spade....

AmberLeaf · 03/11/2013 17:19

I have discussed this in way too much detail with my teenage son.

He has no qualms about putting a bullet through my head in the event of me 'turning'

We have a Zombie plan, but tbh I think in reality I'd be too scared and there just aren't enough bullets in the world [or within my reach] to survive a Zombie outbreak, especially as I live in a massively populated major city.