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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

hate rugby hate 9 year old son playing it

199 replies

swallowthree · 31/10/2013 12:10

Gave in and let 9 year old son have a go at rugby at our local club. He loves it. I went to watch last week and was horrified. Don't know why I expected any different but horrendous, just seemed like a big excuse for a scrap. Husband used to play so he is all for it. How do I get out of this one?

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/11/2013 14:13

My Yr 9 DS plays (I haven't watched him but I have the job of washing his manky kit Grin )

So far , he's had a fractured thumb and a fare share of bruises.

He copes Wink

JustAnotherFucker · 01/11/2013 14:21

Ok fair do's Moomin.

But any recent ones? I genuinely don't know as union bores me shitless. Too stoppy-starty for my liking!

JR (who switched codes) is a close family friend so it may be my opinion is biased somewhat by what he has told me re switching codes Grin

MoominMammasHandbag · 01/11/2013 14:30

I think there is plenty of money in Union these days, particularly for the top players, so no need for them to make the risky move to change codes. In the past this was not the case, Union only became professional in 1995. International Union players are much bigger "celebrities" than international League players aren't they? It's not really surprising players make the switch to Union.

JustAnotherFucker · 01/11/2013 14:56

Oh yes. JR switched for the money, he freely says this. You're right, its not really a comparison to make... unless you also wonder why Union players aren't being signed up to the NRL which dwarfs the money paid for Union players over here Wink

Still don't think most some Union players would last 5 mins at Headingley though.

prettybird · 01/11/2013 15:00

Are pubs chefs, security guards, cleaners, nurses, shop workers, council workers middle class Confused Or what about "cared for" kids? That's the background of the majority of the kids and their parents at ds' club. I know where they all live and the kids come from all over the city and not just the "middle class" areas. Can't comment on the seniors - but they appear to be a pretty mixed bunch too. Of course we have a mix of doctors, teachers and "general" manager types too - but they're only a small part of the membership.

That's what I like about the club - that there is such a mix.

The most expensive season tickets at Glasgow Warriors (rugby union) are £225 (for 14 games). Kids' season tickets are £45. The fans at the RaboDirect games definitely come from all sorts of backgrounds.

The strongest teams that ds has played are from Ayr and Strathaven - full of strapping farming boys (their description) who ran over our kids as they were so much stronger (but taught them a few skills at the same time).

CuChullain · 01/11/2013 15:18

“I still think a lot of this is prejudiced nonsense. My boys play football in an ordainary Joe's league. Any dirty play or diving is roundly condemned, no parents yell abuse at the referee or their kids, we roundly applaud any bits of skill from whichever side. At the end of the game the kids shake hands and clap each other off he field.
To say only rugby teaches good sportsmanship is extremely ill informed.”

Well I am glad that happens, maybe your lads can come down my local park and teach the kids playing football there a few lessons in sportsmanship. I help coach the minis section in my club on a Sunday morning, we share the park with a few footie sides and it is sad to see some of the youngsters there emulating their premiership heroes by falling all over the place and haranguing the ref after each call, this is not helped by some parents on the side screaming at both players and coaches alike. Anecdotal I know, but that is just what I have seen myself. Most rugby clubs get parents to sign a good conduct form which lists a raft of dos and don’t focussing on encouraging good behaviour not only in their kids but the parents on sidelines as well. If either party cant abide by this they are asked to leave.

“And of course there are a few smaller top rugby players, as there are footballers but for a smaller kid, football is definitely going to give them more chance to do well. My son has been asked to train with the local rugby team a couple of times. He has never played rugby in his life. They are only interested because he is a particularly big and sturdy seven year old.”

At the elite level of any sport you are going to get perfect physical specimens for each position, are you going to get a 5ft premiership goalkeeper, a 60kg champion shot putter, a 90kg race grand national jockey?. Take it as a compliment that someone sees potential in your son. Is this any different to say a rowing club or basketball team trying to encourage the tall kid to get involved in their respective sports? The further you step away from the professional arena the more accommodating any sports becomes towards different shapes and sizes, twas always the case. Some people are born with physical advantages, some are not, you kind of learn that early in life.

“I've been to plenty of rugby matches and plenty of football matches. I would say the distribution of idiots is pretty even between the supporters.”

So have I (follow Watford for my sins), and I agree there are muppets in both sports, difference being is that the muppets on opposing sides in rugby don’t need to physically kept apart or an amarda of policemen to keep an eye on them.

“The only difference is that football supporters are treated absolutely appallingly by the authorities, presumed guilty before anything even starts.”

Did the 70s and 80s just pass you by? Sadly, although football clubs have done loads to clamp down on hooligans many sides still have its hard core of potentially violent twats who can’t be trusted to not to kick off. This means the majority have to put up with a huge police presence, CCTV, high fences and overzealous security, and being held back in the ground while the away fans are escorted to the station/buses. Blame the hooligans of yesteryear for the treatment of footie fans now not the authorities.

“It is no coincidence that this does not happed to supporters of rugby, the game favoured by the privileged (at least in England).”

Rugby fans are not treated like animals as there is very little histroy of violent crowd behaviour, feck all to do with 'class'. Anyway, you cant have been to many recent rugby games then as you will see a whole cross section of society in the crowd. Both rugby and football will always have their champagne hospitality box mob but in the ‘job blogs’ seats it is a real mix. 30 years ago you may have had a point, however the days of rugby fans being all Barbour jackets and Range Rover types only are long gone. My team, off the top off my head, has one scaffolder, one site manager, one bricklayer, two civil servants, an unemployed guy, a couple of students, an NHS pharmacist, a teacher and in fairness one city trader who earned stupid money, none of them former Bullington Club members though.

“And really, role models? There are plenty of shaggers and druggies in rugby. Will Carling, Lawrence Dalaglio, Gavin Henson anyone. Of course there are idiots in football. But anyone who thinks rugby is some perfect, noble sport needs to broaden their horizons a bit.”

And absolutely nobody has claimed this. Rugby more recently has had its fair share of less then edifying off the field scandals, I would contend though that such incidents are more common in football then in rugby though. My previous post was contesting your rather absurd statement that the England football team are professional and well behaved compared to rugby, which is quite clearly a bollocks thing to claim.

MoominMammasHandbag · 01/11/2013 16:13

Exactly CuChullain, there was terrible crowd trouble in football in the 70s and 80s. We are now in the 21st century so why should fans be escorted to the ground on away trips? Why should opposing supporters be segregated at matches when, certainly here in the North West, you frequently get members of the same families supporting different teams?
Football hooliganism in the past was symptomatic of a much wider malaise in society. The average football supporter nowadays is not some antisocial directionless youth; football has priced them out for one thing.

And I do maintain that rugby, at least in England, is very much a middle class game.

Of course there will be more stories in the press about idiot footballers than idiot rugby players, for the simple reason that there are more high profile football players than there are high profile rugby players. Your average non supporter would be pushed to name a handful of current rugby players; football simply has a much higher profile.

And yes, I do maintain that the current England football team are more professional than the rugby team. The dental chair incident of the Gazza era was 20 odd years ago. The England rugby boys were getting pissed up at lap dancing bars and chucking dwarves around in New Zealand in 2011. And personally, I think that chucking a dwarf around, consenting or otherwise, is actually a lot more disgusting than cheating on your wife, but that's another story.

Sirzy · 01/11/2013 16:29

The last premiership football game I went to I saw fans fighting amongst themselves and with the opposition. From what the football fan I went with said that isn't all that unusual.

funambulist · 01/11/2013 17:51

There is an interesting article on the sports section of today's BBC news website regarding the danger of repeated head injuries in rugby. I do worry about this, even more than the many fractures that school boy rugby players I know have suffered. I appreciate that there are other sports that are dangerous as well, but my son is not obliged to play these sports as a matter of course during the school day.

I hope the link works, I haven't done one before. Apologies if it doesn't.

www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/rugby-union/24765650

prettybird · 01/11/2013 18:35

I worry about concussions too Sad

Although I was a bit mean to a friend at ds' cycling club who was joking that cycling was safer than rugby 'cos of the head injuries and dementias caused by rugby. I replied, "You mean, like the head injury and ultimately dementia that killed my mum as a result of a cycling accident?" HmmBlush

But you can't stay in cotton wool all the time. There are risks in everything they do. Thanks to cycling and rugby, ds is fit, energetic, eats healthily most of the time with a good group of friends and is really anti-drugs. Grin

Fleta · 01/11/2013 18:46

Anyone who thinks there isn't a hooligan element still very much alive and kicking (see what I did there) in football is absolutely delusional.

kaumana · 01/11/2013 20:11

My DS has had two concussions, the first one warrented an overnight stay in hospital.

His school and club take concussions very seriously and they are not allowed to play full contact for at least 3 weeks.

prettybird · 01/11/2013 22:23

Just thinking about the Minis/Midis coaches, of those that I know what they do, there is one mature PhD student, one nurse (former captain of the 2nd 15!), one retired guy (I think he was a surveyor), one currently unemployed single mum (former dental nurse), one physio for kids with SEN (also a single mum), one surveyor, one former public sector employee (currently unemployed), one teacher, one landscape gardener, one electrician and a few I don't know what they do. Quite a range Smile

They're all 1st Aid qualified (although dh hadn't used it in "anger" for the 3 months after he'd done the course and then over a weekend at a cycling event as a spectator had to use it 4 times, with 2 broken collar bones and one concussion diagnosed. He just happened to be the closest to some of the accidents) and are particularly aware of concussions.

mayorquimby · 02/11/2013 03:16

And anyone who thinks the rugby federations aren't ignoring player concussions for monetary gain are equally delusional.

utreas · 02/11/2013 08:42

YABU rugby is a great sport that teaches people many things.
As an aside there was a mother on the radio this morning who has two sons one will be playing for the England Rugby League team this afternoon and one for the England Rugby Union which is remarkable really.

JustAnotherFucker · 02/11/2013 09:44

I mentioned that upthread Utreas. Its the Tomkins brothers and I will be cheering Sam on at Huddersfield this afternoon Smile Its a massive achievement - but also the Burgess Brothers are worth a mention - 3 brothers in the England squad together. Their mum must burst with pride when she watches them all line up Grin

nogreythatmatters · 02/11/2013 10:18

In Wales the top Wales Rugby Union stars are like royalty - the kids love them. 65,000 people went to watch the Wales France Rugby Union game at the Mill. Stadium at the last world cup - on a big telly!

The connection between the fans and the National Team is brilliant.

Cant really comment on Rugby League because it is practically non existent in South Wales.

Tiredemma · 03/11/2013 18:32

im a 'fairweather' fan- only go to watch when the weather is nice!

I stay at home, cook a nice roast and wash muddy kit ( and run a nice bath!)

dp has coached ds1 since he was 5 years old. ds1 is now 13 and a promising player- he has just been selected to join the player development programme at one of the academies of a premiership club.

we love rugby in this house- all of us.

Ragwort · 03/11/2013 18:36

GeeTeeEff - sorry to read about your DS, have you any news?

gemmal88 · 03/11/2013 18:53

I grew up in the rugby club, even played in the minis until my mum sent me to ballet Wink

Rugby is a great sport, so good for fitness, stamina, strength. I personally love going to the rugby and it's also a really friendly environment. Rarely will there be fights, racist chants and whatnot at a rugby match. Our local club is a real family environment, occasionally OH plays for the 3rds for a laugh and we all go up to watch. I've made some great friends with the other wives/mums and my daughter has a good wee group of friends there too.

swallowthree · 14/11/2013 15:12

Thanks, helpful. Still worried but going to try to keep away and let him do it. Also encouraging him with other sports I feel happier about.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 14/11/2013 15:30

Also encouraging him with other sports I feel happier about

Why if he has found a sport HE enjoys?

massistar · 14/11/2013 15:45

My DS, 8, has been playing since he was 4 and has just moved on from tag rugby. I can't say I enjoy watching but I love to see him run around enjoying himself and getting stuck in. I live in South Wales so it's practically compulsory :-)

One of the nicest things I heard was when my DS asked one of his team mates what the score was in their match at the weekend to which his mate replied "Rugby was the winner today and that's all that matters". Lovely ethos. :-)

PMDD · 14/11/2013 17:08

I would be more worried about your washing machine surviving the copious mud that the kit comes home caked in!

Seriously, last season my washing machine died and I am 100% sure it was due to the mud on my boys' kits.

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