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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

hate rugby hate 9 year old son playing it

199 replies

swallowthree · 31/10/2013 12:10

Gave in and let 9 year old son have a go at rugby at our local club. He loves it. I went to watch last week and was horrified. Don't know why I expected any different but horrendous, just seemed like a big excuse for a scrap. Husband used to play so he is all for it. How do I get out of this one?

OP posts:
squoosh · 31/10/2013 15:36

'"rugby is a hooligans' game played by gentlemen and football is a gentleman's game played by hooligans"

Hmm

You can't know that many rugby players then.

valiumredhead · 31/10/2013 16:08

They have to play it at ds's school, he loves it as does your ds, just don't watch if you hate it!

stowsettler · 31/10/2013 16:18

themaltesefalcon I'm from Wales. The rugby ain't the best in the world, but it is the working man's game. And where I live it really is the soccer fans / players who are the wankers. Another sweeping generalisation, however I'm from Cardiff and live in Swansea and the Cardiff v Swansea derby is this weekend. I'm staying well out of the way, I could be in some danger if I go to my local. And sadly I'm not joking.

prettybird · 31/10/2013 16:21

That's sad about English rugby fans letting down the sport's reputation.

Living where I do (the West of Scotland), it is very definitely football which has the bad reputation. That is why fans need to be segregated for their own safety Sad and children need to be taught to be wary of telling others which team they support Sad.

...where fans of football teams are strictly segregated and even an 8 year old is not allowed to go into the "opposing" team's stand wearing his own teams football scarf.

...where children get taught to mock "Losers" in football camps and are taught to dive and feign injury Angry

...where alcohol bans are needed on trains when there are football games on while alcohol can be bought at rugby games and actually taken in to the stand.

SadSad

stowsettler · 31/10/2013 16:22

Nail on head, prettybird.

MammaTJ · 31/10/2013 16:27

My DP still plays at 49 years of age and loves it. He did 'retire' but now only plays when they are short, which seems to be every week. I don't care as long as I don't have to watch! I wouldn't mind if it was in the summer, but they play when it is cold and wet! Apparently the ground is too hard when the weather is good and they might get hurt load of wimps. Grin

MammaTJ · 31/10/2013 16:29

Posted too soon.

Ds used to play, but only for a short time. I loved him playing, but her doesn't have and depth perception or 3D vision, so it was too scary for him. I wish he could play.

prettybird · 31/10/2013 16:29

I was just repeating something that is often said. It does not nowadays reflect the actual background of people - more the ethos. Rugby is indeed a very dangerous game so discipline is an essential part of it. It's a rough game but you have the laws to try to minimise the dangers - and the referee has the power to send people off for dissent. But after the game, the two teams will shake hands and then socialise.

I do know loads of rugby players. Ds' club is very mixed, with people from all walks of life - but the private schools are the smallest proportion of the members both at junior and senior level. Most of the "private school" kids will play rugby at their school - although a few come to our club because it has a good reputation for child-friendly rugby.

SatinSandals · 31/10/2013 16:30

He loves it therefore I can't see the problem. Don't watch.

Strumpetron · 31/10/2013 16:31

Erm, just to say, if DS wants to do it and DH is happy to take him, then yes, I think you can't do much about it. But I wouldn't be fannying about cooking hot lunches for them to come home to. Use the time to do something for yourself

Grin
Taffeta · 31/10/2013 16:32

I was wondering what page it would get to before people started slagging off football.

My DS plays academy football and there is no swearing, sportsmanship is greatly encouraged etc etc.

It pisses me off NO END the crass generalisations that are made, the snobbery etc. People that make the generalisations generally know diddly squat about it, IME.

Op, feel for you.

stowsettler · 31/10/2013 16:35

Taffeta, tell that to the locals at the pubs round by us. Actually don't bother, they wouldn't understand all the long words.

SatinSandals · 31/10/2013 16:39

I don't think you should expect to mould your child to interests you like. If you like them do them yourself, if you don't like them don't do them! Your child has the same freedom. Wait and see their interests and support them. I dare say you would find potholing or rock climbing worse.

kaumana · 31/10/2013 16:41

My DS14 has been playing rugby since he was 7. He plays for club and school which means a lot of training and weekends are planned round the games.

Yes there have been a few injuries over the years but the friendships made and disciplines learned more than make up for them.

SatinSandals · 31/10/2013 16:45

I hate football, but I can't tell you how many hours I have spent watching my son in the cold and rain. It is part of being a parent.

Sparklingbrook · 31/10/2013 16:48

2 DSs here-both footballers.

Their Rugby playing mates seem to be permanently injured or at A&E. Sad

Do Rugby Mums worry about cauliflower ears and massive necks, or Mike Tindall-esque noses? Sad

prettybird · 31/10/2013 16:49

I am glad your experiences are better than mine Taffeta

My experience here in the West of Scotland is different - so it is not that I know "diddly squat": I do have experience and I can give concrete examples.

I've already given some - like the alcohol issues and the need to segregate fans.

Ds was taught at football camps (run by one of the better football clubs, with a motto of "Playing for the love of playing") to "eeh-awe" like a donkey at the losers and to form an L on his forehead. It took us a couple of years to "unteach" that.

The SFA has, to its credit, tried to introduce a "Positive Coaching" accreditation in Scotland. That was 5 years ago - so far, no football club has achieved it although they are working towards it.

The SRU, in association with the Bill McLaren Foundation, began work with Positive Coaching Scotland 2 years ago and already has more that 14 clubs accredited.

I know of many parents who have brought their kids along to rugby precisely because they are trying to get their kids away from football and the pernicious influence it has in the West of Scotland (unfortunately football has got mixed up with religious bigotry here Sad). They are not snobs - they come from all walks of life.

CoffeeAndScones · 31/10/2013 16:50

Let him get stuck in there! Statistically rugby is safer than a lot of sports.

LoofahVanDross · 31/10/2013 16:50

Nothing beats watching your DS on the rugby or football pitch. I embrace it. It is exciting and enjoyable to watch. If your DS enjoys it, then you should be happy to let him get on with the game.

prettybird · 31/10/2013 16:51

Sparklingbrook - fortunately ds is small and is shaping up to be a scrum half, so he shouldn't be at risk of cauliflower ears Grin

Hopefully he'll be nimble enough to avoid the broken noses too! Wink

Sparklingbrook · 31/10/2013 16:53

Tell me how the cauliflower ears and big necks come about pretty. It can't be overnight?

Day300 · 31/10/2013 16:54

DS has played rugby for a club since he was 4, he loves it. I will encourage it an stand in the freezing cold wind and rain for however long I have to.

He started playing football 6 months ago, they are 5/6years old, the crying tantrumming diving faking injury screams of it's not fair are ridiculous.....and that's just the parents Grin

But seriously, rugby is a good game which looks rough but is fair and rules are respected. All the parents are lovely as well. They are taught to congratulate winners and accept a loss with a good attitude IMO.

prettybird · 31/10/2013 16:59

Cauliflower ears come about (I think) from damage to the ears in the scrum. Scrum caps/binding their ears can help.

The big necks I think just develop from the power that they develop in the scrums - or because that is where their physique means they are suited.

The backs tend to be prettier! Wink

Sparklingbrook · 31/10/2013 17:00

So head squishing? Sad I don't like the sound of that.

JustAnotherFucker · 31/10/2013 17:12

Rugby League is the best game in the world but I assume most of you are not talking about league.

The fact that it is not so popular doesn't bother me as I suspect its the reason I've got 16 tickets for world cup games in next few weeks which cost me a shade over £150 Smile including 4 for the final (where I predict England will beat Australia 24-22 in a closely fought match).

There are some vair good looking players too, seems less of the cauliflower ears and what not in League.I give you the Burgess Brothers and Zak hardaker as proof Grin