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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

hate rugby hate 9 year old son playing it

199 replies

swallowthree · 31/10/2013 12:10

Gave in and let 9 year old son have a go at rugby at our local club. He loves it. I went to watch last week and was horrified. Don't know why I expected any different but horrendous, just seemed like a big excuse for a scrap. Husband used to play so he is all for it. How do I get out of this one?

OP posts:
Taffeta · 01/11/2013 11:04

" They support minis events and are present at the club in a way that would never happen in an equivalent professional football club."

Not my experience. It happens at my DSs football club.

DreamingofSummer · 01/11/2013 11:05

But of course the REAL game is cricket! Hard ball and all! Not to mention Jimmy Anderson's bum

harrassedswlondonmum · 01/11/2013 11:11

Taffeta - didn't you say your ds plays academy football though? My boys are run of the mill club players.

Taffeta · 01/11/2013 11:16

Sorry I thought you meant that by "professional"

mayorquimby · 01/11/2013 11:23

"not trying to con the referee with diving or going down like a sack of spuds clutching your face the moment another players touches you,"

But that is such a poor argument that ignores the context of both games. The reason rugby players don't do it is because exaggerating contact in rugby brings no benefit for the team. They do however cheat in many other ways. They lie on the ball and fail to release, they put their hands in the ruck, they put the ball in crooked at scrums. all moves they know are illegal which they do to gain an advantage in the hope that they can trick the ref.
As I said above you could equally point to the fact that any player raising his hands to an opponent gets a red card, in rugby such scuffles are treated as tempers flaring over and a talking to often suffices. If you wished to ignore the context in which both sports are played you could say that rugby in many ways excuses violence as understandable.
As I also previously mentioned rugby has a long history of failing to adequately punish the practice of eye gouging, an act which is a deliberate attempt to injure the eye area of fellow professionals, something which could not be levelled at football.

"
Strange, I don’t recall any England rugby captains shagging their club team mates wife (Terry), calling someone “a fucking black cunt” (Terry again), or married players sending naked photos to glamour models (Cole), players sleeping with escort girls behind their pregnant wifes back (Rooney), missing drug tests (Ferdinand). Role models indeed!

Lobbing a few (consenting) dwarfs about does not really compare. "

Yeah but you did have three Lions players secretly filming a roasting session in a hotel room and their discussions over and the video of it going very public (Zebo, Murray, Cuthbert). You have Matt Stevens getting banned for 2 years for actually taking drugs etc.
TBH I don't go down the role model argument anyway as none of them are famous for their moral compass only their skill.

As I said in my first post both sports are fantastic sports which I love and play. I just can't stand idiots from either side who think that the way to promote their sport is to make uninformed and sweeping statements about the other. Both sports have such a huge amount of internal problems that they need to sort out before they start slinging mud at any other sport.

squoosh · 01/11/2013 11:24

' I just can't stand idiots from either side who think that the way to promote their sport is to make uninformed and sweeping statements about the other. Both sports have such a huge amount of internal problems that they need to sort out before they start slinging mud at any other sport.'

Exactly this! Saint on sinners on both sides.

mayorquimby · 01/11/2013 11:36

The general stereotype going the other way is

  • boring game. Just rolling around on the ground. 18 resets at every scrum
  • no skill. Look at the fattys in the front row
  • bunch of elitist dicks drinking out of each others shoes in the student union and playing chariots of fire
  • thugs. You see punches thrown and stamping go unpunished in a way you never would in football
  • minority sport for people who weren't good enough to play football

All misinformed bollox going both ways

harrassedswlondonmum · 01/11/2013 11:43

Taffeta - my boys are ordinary club players, the pros I am referring to are top flight professional players. I don't think there is really a football equivalent. You wouldn't get ordinary junior players rubbing shoulders in the clubhouse with premiership football players.

I can imagine that academy football players probably do have some contact with the pros but cant think that typical ordinary junior Sunday team players would.

Hope I have explained myself better!

Fleta · 01/11/2013 11:46

I'm very nervous of going to football matches from a previous awful experience when I had to give witness statements from a horrendous outbreak of violence.

I have never been to a rugby match and been terrified. I had to watch my husband and another guy gather a group of old men and stand in front of them to protect them

I hate, hate, HATE that mindless thugs use football as a vehicle to commit appalling acts of violence.

I know someone who is an "ex" hooligan. he is very open about it and states quite honestly that a football match is an excellent chance for a rumble. Hooligan firms are still flourishing.

anotetofollowso · 01/11/2013 12:00

Oh OP, sympathies. It's a nasty, brutish game and I don't care what any one says about reffing or rules. I have seen horrendous injuries, including concussion. Yes, all sports run a risk of injury but in rugby the chances of a really serious injury (ie brain or spinal cord) are higher.

I do also understand that precisely because of the above, and because of the extensive team work involved, the game builds rare camaraderie and that it holds a special fascination for many boys and men - including my DS. I made the mistake of trying to dissuade him from playing it, which only made it all seem all the more exciting. There's nothing you can do now, except offer support from as far away as possible (I do find it scary and upsetting to watch games. Yes, exciting too but so not worth it for me)

Good luck!

ProphetOfDoom · 01/11/2013 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fanjofarrow · 01/11/2013 12:29

My dad was so against me playing football when I was a little girl that he tried to ban me from doing it, the poor misguided fool. (Try banning a Scouse kid from playing football - you've got more chance of successfully flying to the moon on a magic carpet. Massive fail on his part.) All that did was make me more determined. Fortunately my mother had more sense than my dad, although she didn't cherish me playing on boys teams for years and coming home covered in mud!

Four of my five nieces play (the youngest is only a baby so it's a bit early for her to be practising her headers.) My sister blames me! Grin

MoominMammasHandbag · 01/11/2013 13:24

I still think a lot of this is prejudiced nonsense. My boys play football in an ordainary Joe's league. Any dirty play or diving is roundly condemned, no parents yell abuse at the referee or their kids, we roundly applaud any bits of skill from whichever side. At the end of the game the kids shake hands and clap each other off he field.
To say only rugby teaches good sportsmanship is extremely ill informed.

And of course there are a few smaller top rugby players, as there are footballers but for a smaller kid, football is definitely going to give them more chance to do well. My son has been asked to train with the local rugby team a couple of times. He has never played rugby in his life. They are only interested because he is a particularly big and sturdy seven year old.

I've been to plenty of rugby matches and plenty of football matches. I would say the distribution of idiots is pretty even between the supporters. The only difference is that football supporters are treated absolutely appallingly by the authorities, presumed guilty before anything even starts. It is no coincidence that this does not happed to supporters of rugby, the game favoured by the privileged (at least in England).

And really, role models? There are plenty of shaggers and druggies in rugby. Will Carling, Lawrence Dalaglio, Gavin Henson anyone. Of course there are idiots in football. But anyone who thinks rugby is some perfect, noble sport needs to broaden their horizons a bit.

Sirzy · 01/11/2013 13:31

In league at least there are plenty of opportunities for small pacey players. There is quite a variety of builds in your average league side.

JustAnotherFucker · 01/11/2013 13:34

It's nothing to do with your size in proper Rugby League.

Here is one of my favourite people on the planet who at 1.65m tall and weighing 66kg will be striding out for England tomorrow The delectable Rob Burrows Grin

JustAnotherFucker · 01/11/2013 13:35

@Sirzy, thanks for giving me the opportunity to swoop and in back up your point!

Sirzy · 01/11/2013 13:39

Burrows was the first that came to my mind. Does make me laugh when they are lined up for the national anthem and the cameras have to dip when they get to him!

JustAnotherFucker · 01/11/2013 13:44

Yes, very funny when he's next to Ryan Hall or someone.

Tomkins is not that big either is he. His brother Joel is playing for England at Union tomorrow too. No Union players that I can recall make that switch do they. Must be the superior skill involved in league Wink

Go on Sirzy, who d'ya support? I bleed Rhino Grin

Sirzy · 01/11/2013 13:47

I'm a saints fan, so after the past few years I am developing a hatred of Leeds - one day we will beat you in the grand final!

JustAnotherFucker · 01/11/2013 13:50

It is no coincidence that this does not happed to supporters of rugby, the game favoured by the privileged (at least in England)

This might be true (I don't know tbf) down sarf but here oop north that is laughable.

There couldn't be a game with its roots more firmly in the working classes than rugby league. I buy a season ticket for £200 which gives me 14 home games and two away ones. It also means ds's club will receive £30 from it. DS season ticket costs me £40.

I don't think you'd even be able to attend one game of top flight football for that Shock

prettybird · 01/11/2013 13:53

The backs in rugby union don't all need to be big. One of the Glasgow and Scotland stand-offs is only 5 foot 10. Grin

It's just as important to be nimble and fast and stay out of trouble Grin

JustAnotherFucker · 01/11/2013 13:54

Sirzy Grin ....

one day my friend, one day.

I love how last Leeds v Saints match I went to I was with my weirdly Saints supporting mate. Stood together and everything.

As has been said - not something you'd see at a football match.

Sirzy · 01/11/2013 13:56

3 of my sons god parents are Warrington fan. I have stood in the south stand at Warrington in my saints shirt and had the piss taken out of me but nothing nasty at all.

I love things like the magic weekend because the way the fans mix is amazing!

MoominMammasHandbag · 01/11/2013 14:00

Just another, the people on here talking about how great rugby is are mainly talking about Union though; League is far too working class for them

MoominMammasHandbag · 01/11/2013 14:07

And loads of Rugby Union players have excelled at League; Frano Botica, Jonathon Davies, Scott Qinnell, Scott Giibs, loads more. Billy Boston played Union in Wales. He moved to League because it was intimated he would never play for Wales because of his colour.