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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

hate rugby hate 9 year old son playing it

199 replies

swallowthree · 31/10/2013 12:10

Gave in and let 9 year old son have a go at rugby at our local club. He loves it. I went to watch last week and was horrified. Don't know why I expected any different but horrendous, just seemed like a big excuse for a scrap. Husband used to play so he is all for it. How do I get out of this one?

OP posts:
nowahousewife · 31/10/2013 17:32

Don't know much about football but whenever I watch my DS13 playing rugby I can't help but think what a great game it is for boys. Lot's of structured physical violence activity followed by a good meal with the opposition back in the club house.

That said he had a broken thumb last season and he broke his nose at trials this season but he's back playing and still loving it. (Fortunately the plastic surgeon was excellent promised me no Mike Tindall nose and was as good as his word)

Sirzy · 31/10/2013 17:36

Just - I am with you on rugby league, I think NRL have more attractive players than us though although I am still in love with Paul Sculthorpe!

DS is nearly 4 and he can't wait to start playing, yes its rough but at the same time it teaches a lot of discipline and team spirit stuff which is great.

I think there is a lot of truth in the saying that football is a gentlemans game played by thugs, and rugby is a thugs game played by gentlemen.

JoinYourPlayfuckers · 31/10/2013 17:43

Rugby is such a macho sport for sexist dickheads.

Urgh, I'd be horrified if one of my kids wanted to play it.

My family (other than my Dad) are really into it and it is just boring beyond belief.

prettybird · 31/10/2013 17:44

Talking of good looking rugby players....

Chris Cusiter, former Scottish scrum half

Ds wanted me to post these images of Morgan Parra, whose skills he aspires to - I didn't find it too much of a hardship to do so Wink

...I think I'd better stop now Wink

FloozeyLoozey · 31/10/2013 17:46

Not enjoying the middle class rugby snobbery towards working class football.

prettybird · 31/10/2013 18:04

Fewer than 6% of the Junior members of ds' club go to private schools.

The parents who were/are keenest to get their kids involved with rugby and not football are most definitely working class. There is a wide range of demographics - we are not all middle class.

Sirzy · 31/10/2013 18:05

I don't think there is much middle class about Rugby League!

LordPalmerston · 31/10/2013 18:10

at 9 they are only just starting contact

I think you OP need to learn some of the rules so you see its not just a scrap
bloody hell

Dontletthemgetyoudown · 31/10/2013 18:17

My boys love the game. Ds16 just plays for local team and trains he does it more for exercise and to see his friends, but ds11 lives for rugby. He plays for a team and the school a team. He trains most nights and is always ready and raring to go.

I actually like watching rugby. Cant stand football. Rugby has a really good family spirit. We go on tour, bbq's, camp outs and just a really good time.

Ive not seen anything really bad. It is a tough contact sport but is well regulated especially for the younger years.

EverythingUnderControl · 31/10/2013 18:22

I know where you're coming fromSad

My dt's do a sport (not rugby) but it comes with a significant risk factor for injury. We've been in A&e twice in the last month. I was very upset about about the latest episode and wish I could stop them doing it. I could stop them I suppose but they'd resent me for it because they love it. I hate it when they get hurt though.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 31/10/2013 18:25

Rugby is a thugs game played by gentleman. Its an excellent sport to have him involved in.

Caitlin17 · 31/10/2013 18:28

I hate rugby( to be honest all sports).Son's school in Edinburgh make a big thing of it as do all the private schools. Son was in something ridiculous like the 4th team of his year. If there were home matches on a Saturday morning we'd take it in turn to take him there, I didn't stay to watch but his father did. Son seemed fine with that, he already knew sports bored me.

I think it only lasted first or maybe second year of secondary as he was fairly rubbish and found other interests.

8dayweek · 31/10/2013 18:33

Agree with everyone who says Rugby is an excellent sport for young lads. My younger brother plays and I really think it has to be one of the most inclusive sports around. The discipline and respect taught is second to none.
I also find that boys who play tend to be more mature than their peers - they have their rough edges knocked off (serving the older player at annual balls anyone?!) and partake in lots of fundraising.

Embrace it OP!

Andro · 31/10/2013 18:35

Rugby is such a macho sport for sexist dickheads.

You are correct about the macho, but the rest of your statement is utter rubbish. You get the odd rotten apple in every sport (Mike Phillips anyone?) but my own experiences would suggest a much greater degree of good manners and respect among the rugby culture.

Juliaparker25 · 31/10/2013 18:36

Game for Animals .Played by Animals ..Nasty, viscous, misogynistic. Check of some of the Rugby Songs , and the drinking culture is liver destroying........

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 31/10/2013 18:37

No rugby fan ever punched a horse.

Tis all Im saying.

ukatlast · 31/10/2013 18:37

YANBU but hard to get out of once they start, if they enjoy it. I personally think football is much safer than rugby as it is supposedly non-contact.
I have already talked one of mine out of Rugby and would do so again. Luckily my DH shares my reluctance.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 31/10/2013 18:39

I think it was Martin Johnson, captain of England when the y won the 2003 World Cup, who said "Football is 90 minutes of pretending you're injured, Rugby is 80 minutes of pretending you're not." Grin

Sirzy · 31/10/2013 18:41

I agree andro.

I am a league fan and the way the players and fans really rally to get behind a good cause is fantastic which club uou play for/support doesnt seem to matter. There is very much a community spirit in rugby. I live in a football area and that doesn't appear to be the case for football (in this area at least)

tobiasfunke · 31/10/2013 18:41

I'm laughing at the posts suggesting all rugby players are gentlemen sportsmen. My Dad played rugby and then refereed for the next 25 years after one skull facture too many. I spent my childhood sitting in cars and crappy rugby clubs on Saturday afternoons. I saw fights on the pitch, on the touchlines, in the club house. People were sent off regularly, my Dad got abused roundly by players and supporters alike- some of it really nasty.
He still loved it but it wasn't pretty or posh.
My DH went on a stagdo with a load of rugby players a couple of years ago and was shocked at how many drugs they consumed and what dickheads they were. He is hardly a prude.
Personally I wouldn't be happy with DS playing rugby because of the number of injuries I have seen in the male members of my family and the cost of private dental work. His choice but I won't be allowing him to believe that he is some way superior to a football player because he plays rugby.

Ehhn · 31/10/2013 18:41

I play full contact rugby and I'm a 5'4 woman who is a size 12-14. Love it, love it, love it. Rugby gives kids discipline and an outlet for energy, as well as friends for life.

There is a risk but there is as much/greater risk using a scooter on a pavement or being driven on the motorway.

Ehhn · 31/10/2013 18:46

Also, whilst there are some macho dickheads, we actually train with the men's team who are thoughtful and considerate when we run semi-opposed against them, but they aren't patronising (especially not after our number 8 smashed one of them by mistake!). They come and watch our games and we go and support theirs.

The worst thing I ever heard was Sam Allardyce threatening to quit football if he ever saw a female linesman (not even a referee!) on a premiership pitch. The women's football team aren't allowed to play at wembley. By comparison, the RFU actively promote our women's game and use the women's game as an opener or closer at twickenham to help raise support for the game. Yes some rugby players are meat heads but most are decent blokes.

Artesia · 31/10/2013 20:02

rugby is a sexist sport for macho dickheads

I have been watching rugby for 20 years, local games though to internationals at Twickenham, Murrayfield, millennium Stadium and Stadio Flaminio. The crowds are not segregated, so home and away supporters sit together, and the crowd is inevitably over 90% male. I have never felt uncomfortable, threatened or intimidated, and never been treated with anything other than respect.

I have also been to many football matches - I can't say the same about them.

Taffeta · 31/10/2013 20:05

We are looking at secondary schools for my DS at the moment. Quite interested in a super selective local grammar, but they have compulsory rugby in Y7 on a Saturday morning. I mentioned this may be a deal breaker for us as DS plays academy football incl training on a Saturday morning. The PE teacher said they have to play rugby, they despise football and everything it stands for.

So, if my son has a natural talent at a sport and is playing at a very high level, he is expected to give it up? The PE teacher shrugged.

That is the kind of arrogance attached to rugby we come across all the time round here.

Sparklingbrook · 31/10/2013 20:08

Yes, it's Saturday morning compulsory Rugby at Private Schools round here too. (No grammars) Why?

Seems odd to me. they sign up for Saturday football but miss loads.