AIBU to complain about this busdriver? (pushchair related)

[candlelight2012]

Would appreciate some opinions before complaining as I'm unsure whether or not he was correct

There was a mother with two young children, one about 2/3, one about 8/9 months (going by eye) with a buggy in upright position in the buggy spot, and the older child on a seat younger one on her knee.

Bus stopped to change drivers and new driver got on the bus and told the women she had to fold the buggy up and move seats as another buggy was coming on.

The new family, mum dad and baby about 7 months, with downs syndrome got on and waited for the mum to fold the buggy and move.

The mum and passengers were all saying to the bus driver that the new passengers should surely be the ones to fold the buggy as they were coming on second, the driver didn't address anyone apart he mum and started raising his voice and hurrying her to move

This took about 4 mins and the mum was in tears by the end of it.

Of course you can carry a baby of 6 or 12 months in a sling for a couple of hours

hazyjane no it wasn't, it was a mamas and papa's with pink butterflies

I have issues due to arthritis which means at times my left arm is useless not helped by a minor stroke affecting my left so yes I need to use public transport but I also need a pushchair I can easily manage one handed which has the knock on effect of meaning folding isn't easy. So please don't dismiss all of us who don't have easily folding buggies there may be a reason.

Wheelchairs always take priority over me but my pet hate is seeing empty pushchairs when the space is needed by someone else, anyone else. If the children were taken out of the pushchair it should be folded or moved out of the way if someone else needs the space. Someone else needed that space her pushchair was empty so she needed to move it.

If mum no.1 felt that she didn't need to have her children in the pushchair then she should have folded it in order that someone else could use the spot. If children aren't in the pushchair WHY on earth shouldn't it be folded? It's not being used!

However, the biggest, most disappointing thing in your OP is the totally irrelevant point about the other family's child having Down's syndrome.

the mum who came on offered to hold the baby whilst her husband and the driver tried to fold the buggy.

If this is the case, then there must be a good reason why mum no 2 didn't take her child out of the buggy, instead offering to help the first mum to fold hers. Down syndrome often comes with other medical issues that may not be immediately apparent to the general on looker. In this case I think it would be fair to assume that the child with down syndrome could not easily be taken out of the buggy for those reasons, and thus his/her needs as a disabled passenger trumps the needs of the first mum, whose children didn't have additional needs.

As other posters have pointed out, Down's Syndrome might not be irrelevant if it affected the child's muscle tone etc.

Hettienne sadly I was unable to carry my baby in a sling due to chronic pain and joint problems. I'd have dearly loved to be a baby wearing mum to both you children. Due to my multiple health issues and limited budget I shopped hard to find a double pushchair with a manageable weight, sadly these contraptions aren't that easy to fold one handed.
Things are so much easier when you have full health and capability.

Not both you children, both my children! My issues also cause insomnia with a knock on effect of limited brain function!
I totally understand how a situ like the one in the op could reduce a knackered mum to tears.

Where do all these folded buggies on buses go? There's no where safe on ours that would free up the floorspace. We have a decent allocation of wheelchair/ buggy spaces though.

On my route you tend to be asked to wait for the next bus if the bays are occupied. I've had to wait a few times, but the service is roughly every 10 mins so not so bad.

First mum unreasonable because as others have said could be many reasons that it would be a problem for the parents with the child who had ds. The bus driver was probably annoyed that she was making a fuss and probably felt bad for the other couple who them had lots if attention brought to them.

If the baby had reasons due to ds for needing the space then the first buggy should be folded.

Just out of curiosity, what buses only have room for one unfolded buggy? I've only been on london buses with a buggy and all had room for two.

The reason the disability was mentioned was because mother 2 stated that was the reason why she was entitled to the space, so it is relevant.

If she and her DP had picked up their baby and folded their pram the driver wouldn't have said or done anything.

Mother 1 did not deserve to be yelled at until she burst into tears, I can't believe anyone thinks that's ok.

I can't use a sling for more than 20 minutes with my 7 Month old - he weighs more than a 2 year old, infact, he weighs nearly as much as his 3 year old brother. (99th centile baby).

As there were 2 buggy/wheelchair spaces, the driver was unreasonable.

Think yabu.
Bus drivers cant win.
Think first mum should have folded the buggy or not took child out. Not fair leaving empty buggys and then taking up seats also.

I don't know why the first mum took her two children out of the pushchair? I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old and if I have my double pushchair with both of them and I'm on my own I couldn't do that..if the bus had to brake suddenly as they often do my two year old would go flying and I would be limited on how much I could do about it if holding the baby..so not sure on her logic there!

Mum number 2 could of folded it though if she only had the one baby and had her partner with her to hold the baby whilst she did it. Downs syndrome has absolutely nothing to do with not folding a pushchair regardless of age really (unless the child had been older and the pushchair was actually a specially designed wheelchair) a 7 month old wouldn't manage sitting on a bus seat on their own disabilities or not!

She may of had reasons why she couldn't (I mentioned on another post about my chiari malformation, a brain condition which causes problems with balance and gives me numbness in my arms and hands) but it's easy enough to just state that she can't fold for whatever reason. If the bus driver then carried on being rude and dismissive she would have a right to complain

Those of you who think you can't use a sling with a bigger baby could look into getting a different kind of sling- DD is 1 and 75th centile- last weigh in was over 2 months ago and she was 21lb then. I can still carry her comfortably in my carrier and indeed if I'm planning on going on a bus I put her in the carrier (and use a backpack for her supplies) to avoid these sorts of situations! The baby Bjorn types are not so good for heavier babies but something like an ergo where their legs are wrapped round you are better because of the way their weight is distributed.

I don't see people using the simple Maclaren umbrella buggies i used when my children were tiny. Even the double one was light and folded easily. Some of the newer models are just too big for public transport.

Most people prefer to have their babies parent facing and I have only ever seen one lightweight umbrella stroller which can do this

Ime some drivers are terrorised by feisty pushchair pushers. I once got on an empty bus with a teenager in a wheelchair. The driver looked anxiously over his shoulder and said "you'll have to get off if anyone gets on with a pushchair".

I don't fold my double pushchair if I'm by myself.

It would take me five minutes of unloading everything I have piled on/in it, dismantling the back seat (it sticks), then collapsing it involves much swearing and fighting with it because it doesn't fold easily for me. This assumes that my two toddlers would sit nicely on a seat instead of dashing off in all directions. Very unlikely. Plus DS1 would have a total meltdown at seeing his pushchair broken down.

So I am left with screaming toddler with the entire bus hating me. I have to leave all of my stuff in the luggage area (fine).

Then I will have to reassemble my pushchair. I could do it on the bus. It would take a few more minutes, so a few stops ahead of mine. Massive inconvenience to all. Or I could do it on the pavement when the bus stops. While my two toddlers dash out into the road. And I'd probably leave something on the bus.

So I don't do it. Maybe, if DH was with me, it could be done.

I fully acknowledge the rights of a wheelchair over me. I get off the bus if a wheelchair gets on. I don't bother waiting if there is a wheelchair at my bus stop. I just continue along the bus route until the next bus comes along. If I am close to my stop and another pushchair needs to get on, I'll get off and walk so they can get on. I would not be impressed if I was told I had to collapse it so another buggy could use the space, especially as on nearly all buses there is space for two, even if one is a double.

Back in the good old days of it being necessary to fold a pushchair, I just wouldn't have got the bus. I would have just stayed home. It would have been very restricting in where I could go, which wouldn't have been good for me or my kids.

I would get off the bus for the Downs child/disabled children if in a pushchair if it was explained to me that said child could not get out of the pushchair and be held. I didn't know about the muscle tone with Downs. But sometimes it's not easy to just fold a pushchair.

I didn't like the Maclaren because it didn't have a parent-facing option, and because I found the handles quite high (I'm quite short), and you can't adjust them. I chose Bee because of these 2 things (I'm always seeing Maclarens with their handles sticking right out into the aisle, catching other passengers bags an coats, the Bee's single handle you can shove right in), plus it's very narrow so good for public transport and the single handle was good for when DD started to toddle as it's easy to push with one hand. So I gave it a lot of thought, some people seem to think modern mums just buy the biggest fancies buggy without any thought but that's rubbish and totally pandering to stereotypes.

Sometimes I would take DD out of the pram if it wasn't busy and we were on the bus for a while so she could look out of the window.

I've been on buses, tubes and trains loads with my buggy and never had a problem, rarely had to wait as there's no room, most London buses you can fit 2 or even 3 unfolded buggies on and it's rare that more space would be needed. Most people are polite and friendly and help each other out, quite often me and another mum have jiggled things about to fit two prams in so we don't have to wake our babies. I have never seen any of the sneering that pops up on this kind of thread, thank fuck. I was able to be out and about for hours on end which was lovely if you'd had a few days cooped up at home with the baby.

I have an eight week old and a pram/pushchair we were given 2nd hand (so I didn't choose).
I am a bit ashamed to admit that I haven't used a bus yet because of all the threads on mn that say "ffs why can't she just hold her baby and fold the pram with one hand?"
The truth is I couldn't and feeling everybody was thinking how incompetent a mother I am for not being able to makes me walk or drive when I could have taken the bus.

So, baby number 2 who has DS, is disabled right? So why on earth was that baby's pram/buggy not allowed to go into the wheelchair space? Am I missing something? Surely that pram is like a wheelchair for this baby?
Even if that baby didn't have DS, I think the bus driver was a twat for not allowing the wheelchair space to be taken up by a pram, instead shouting at a mother of 2 young children (I have been there, DCs 21 months apart, struggling on buses) and reducing her to tears. Yes if a wheelchair came on, then ofcourse pram should be folded and given the space.

Also if I had tried to fold down my single pushchair or double pushchair, they would take the same space floor space as unfolded as neither was an umbrella fold. I never have needed to fold down my pushchair ever. Buses around here has 3 spaces for buggies and buses come every 5 mins, so if there were 3 buggies already on the bus, I'd just have waited for the next one. And i wouldn't have bought an umbrella fold buggy (which has it's limitations) just so that one day I might be asked to fold. I would much rather get off and walk than go through the faff of folding and unfolding. Yes and I also got the dcs out of the buggy when I got on the bus if we were going for more than a couple of stops.